Havent been on here in a while.... nearly two years, I think! Generally speaking, Ive been doing really well with my fears and issues..... trying to get over things and deal with things like an adult (i feel like Im too old now to keep being crazy. no judgement - thats just how I feel about myself, personally).
Tonight, however, Im in a different predicament than I have been in a very long time. Im sorry if this is long - im bugging out, and the only person who could talk me out of this (Bubbles, my grandmother) died several years ago. And Im also sorry if this is triggering at all! Im out of practice, so not good with the shorthand anymore.
My husband works a double at a restaurant every Monday. He came home around 930pm tonight, after a stop at the liquor store (he was home for lunch while I was still at work and had a salad from his restaurant, with their house made balsamic dressing).
He had a beer (a tall boy - larger than average but still nothing much for him) and then said he was hungry. Originally, when he came home, I asked if he wanted me to make him something to eat and he said no. That isnt all that uncommon though; He's usually not hungry when he comes home from work and needs some time to decompress. I offered him the other half of my sub from Subway (pepperoni and cheese - I added salami and turkey to it when I got home and ate my half at 6pm. Bought the salami and turkey on friday evening and we've been eating both all weekend. he ate his half around 10:30pm/11pm. Its now 3:45am EST and Im still fine btw). With the sandwich, he also heated up some soup from his restaurant from last week. He brought it home thursday night, but Im fairly certain it was made on monday or tuesday of last week (while we were away, burying his grandfather in Syracuse).
About 40 minutes later, he told me he was feeling dizzy and sick (this has happened before as well. he is prone to bad dizzy/nausea spells that can last several days at a time and one or two times have made him throw up. he's had blood tests and still found nothing. we've chalked it up to dehydration). He also has a bad stomach due to an intestinal surgery he had in his 20s, so I didnt think anything of it. He made a few trips to the bathroom but kept saying he was fine. Also normal, as food tends to run through him within an hour or two, depending, as a result of the surgery. By 1am, he was in the bathroom throwing up. As far as I know, it was just that one time and he immediately came out of the bathroom and got the bleach wipes and cleaned the bathroom. He told me he had been getting sick and he felt awful and was super cold (it was still 60 degrees here when he said it, but as someone with IBS, I know first hand when your stomach wages war, it can sometimes give you the shivers) but he said he was fine and he was sure it was the food.
He's blaming it on the sandwich, but I ate my half MANY hours before he did (Im fine, almost 10 hours later) and Im SUPER crazy about proper food storage... so when I took my half, I immediately wrapped and refrigerated the other half. Im thinking it could have been the soup - made more than a week ago and probably heated, cooled and reheated a few times before he brought it home, honestly. Or it even could have been the salad dressing from lunch - that dressing has made him sick several times over the years he's worked there and made me sick several times as well. Come to think of it. actually.... that same dressing got him sick after mothers day last year because their salad prep line is open basically all day, due to how busy they are on mothers day. Though it didn't make him THIS sick.
I brought him a blanket a few hours ago (he's sleeping in our bedroom and I took up on the couch since A - he's sick and B - I probably wont sleep tonight.... and C - I have to be up for work MUCH earlier than he does tomorrow) and he said he hasnt thrown up since he told me he did, but "its still coming out of him". He's asleep now, and has been for about an hour and a half.. maybe 2 hrs now.... Ive only heard him get up for the bathroom once.
Hes visibly annoyed that im not kinder and more loving toward him - but he also doesnt know how bad my fear is.... We also only have one bathroom so Im HORRIFIED right now. Ive been able to escape bugs and viruses over the years but only because ive been able to use different, isolated bathrooms. Ive had to use our bathroom once since he got sick (and about to have to pee again) but I can't lie - Ive been hovering, leaving the door open and washing my hands twice. Im really leaning toward this being food related, but because ive never dealt with him being sick like this before I am losing my MIND.
Stress and upset could also possibly be related, as he has never really had to bury anybody before.... and we buried his grandfather a week ago. He's not really doing well with the sadness and depression of it.... so that could be it too.
I dont really know what Im looking to gain from this post. It's SUPER late and I dont even know if anyone is up. I need to be up for work in 5hrs but Im not even sure if I will sleep. I guess Im just looking for someone to talk me down. I talked to another friend who shares my fear... and she was good, but she had to go to bed a few hours ago and I was not quite calm by then.
I dunno. Whatever you guys got, I'll take it. Im bugging out something fierce. thanks in advance