Becoming suicidal over this. Deadly serious.

[PleaseHelp1998]

Please help me. I'm a 19 year old male. For about the past 3 months I have had unexplained daily chronic nausea. Doctors are still trying to figure it out. In that time, I have not puked.

I can be fine one minute and feel severely nauseous the next. Life has become a living hell. I hated being sick before this but it has gotten to the point where I literally cannot face it. AT ALL. Whenever I feel nauseous, I feel like I'm having a panic attack. I know it's irrational, but my body and mind flips out and it is hell in its purest form. There is literally nothing I can imagine to be worse. It feels like I'm suffocating to death.

I've already decided I'm never having children for fear of them going through this. I don't know how other people do it. When people talk about nausea they don't act as if it's like some kind of medieval torture, but that is exactly what it is for me. I can't put into words how hellish an ordeal it is every time it happens. I live in fear.

My chief weapons of choice are cool showers, cool baths and fresh air. When I'm out and I can't get access to those things, I get even more panicky because I know if I start to feel nauseous I will be screwed.

I'm at my wits end. The fear is unbelievable, and I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm not kidding when I say I doubt I'll still be alive in 5 years - that's how unbelievably bad it is. I feel suicidal every time it gets bad, which is everyday. Can someone please help me. I have friends and family who I love and don't want to leave behind.

[SamiMichelle08]

First off, I'm so sorry you're feeling this terrible. It's no way to live--with me saying that, I was in your shoes at the age of 18 (7 years ago). Mine started with a nasty stomach bug that caused my anxiety and fear to spike. The next 4 years were torture. After my bout of stomach bugs, I then started feel sick every single day. Finally I went to my doctor and told him how awful I was feeling. He decided to run a bunch of tests (also caused my anxiety to spike)--- a year later they realized my gallbladder wasn't functioning. After that was taken out, I was a new person.

With all of that being said-- I felt like I was walking through hell. I had a pretty serious relationship end because of my fear but then I met someone new who helped me more than I could have ever imagined (my husband now). I lost a ton of weight. I almost got kicked out of college because my fear was overcoming my life. And I was on probation at work because I had called in so much. And let's not even get into how badly it made me a flake of a friend and I lost every friend I had (literally, 10+ year friendships ended because I was a horrible friend and let my anxiety turn me into someone I never wanted to be).. but once my problem was finally solved (my surgery), I was able to slowly pick up the pieces. I was able to remember what life was worth living for. Fast forward years later and I couldn't be happier that I fought to live. I'm married to my best friend who understands my fear and is so so so patient with me. I had two beautiful daughters that have taught me what true love and happiness is. I've reconnected with friends I lost. And I have a family that will pray for me when I feel my worst.

So, maybe first you need to find an answer as to why you're so sick. Maybe in the mean time they can give you some kind of nausea med that can help the nausea. Next, write down every reason worth living. Keep it on you at all time. Also, maybe diary everything you eat and do.. maybe you'll find a reason you're feeling so poorly. Lastly, talk to your friends or family. Just talk to someone. My husband and mom kept me going when I was at my weakest point. Idk where I'd be if it wasn't for them.

I should also add that since then, I have had one easy pregnancy with no v. And two years later had a difficult pregnancy with v from morning sickness and stomach bugs. Even with that nausea and v, I still haven't hit my worst like I was 7 years ago. So that tells you how much it means to fix the main problem and go from there. Don't give up. No matter how scared you are, do the tests.. figure out what's doing this to you! If you ever need anything, please pm me.

[PleaseHelp1998]

First off, I'm so sorry you're feeling this terrible. It's no way to live--with me saying that, I was in your shoes at the age of 18 (7 years ago). Mine started with a nasty stomach bug that caused my anxiety and fear to spike. The next 4 years were torture. After my bout of stomach bugs, I then started feel sick every single day. Finally I went to my doctor and told him how awful I was feeling. He decided to run a bunch of tests (also caused my anxiety to spike)--- a year later they realized my gallbladder wasn't functioning. After that was taken out, I was a new person.

With all of that being said-- I felt like I was walking through hell. I had a pretty serious relationship end because of my fear but then I met someone new who helped me more than I could have ever imagined (my husband now). I lost a ton of weight. I almost got kicked out of college because my fear was overcoming my life. And I was on probation at work because I had called in so much. And let's not even get into how badly it made me a flake of a friend and I lost every friend I had (literally, 10+ year friendships ended because I was a horrible friend and let my anxiety turn me into someone I never wanted to be).. but once my problem was finally solved (my surgery), I was able to slowly pick up the pieces. I was able to remember what life was worth living for. Fast forward years later and I couldn't be happier that I fought to live. I'm married to my best friend who understands my fear and is so so so patient with me. I had two beautiful daughters that have taught me what true love and happiness is. I've reconnected with friends I lost. And I have a family that will pray for me when I feel my worst.

So, maybe first you need to find an answer as to why you're so sick. Maybe in the mean time they can give you some kind of nausea med that can help the nausea. Next, write down every reason worth living. Keep it on you at all time. Also, maybe diary everything you eat and do.. maybe you'll find a reason you're feeling so poorly. Lastly, talk to your friends or family. Just talk to someone. My husband and mom kept me going when I was at my weakest point. Idk where I'd be if it wasn't for them.

I should also add that since then, I have had one easy pregnancy with no v. And two years later had a difficult pregnancy with v from morning sickness and stomach bugs. Even with that nausea and v, I still haven't hit my worst like I was 7 years ago. So that tells you how much it means to fix the main problem and go from there. Don't give up. No matter how scared you are, do the tests.. figure out what's doing this to you! If you ever need anything, please pm me.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm going back to the doctor beginning of next week. This has been the most draining and torturous experience of my life BY FAR, and I haven't had an easy life (not saying others haven't had it worse).

I too have lost weight. Only 5kg, but it's noticeable. Eating has become a nightmare. I can go from fine to "omg I'm going to puke" within seconds if I try to eat too much or the wrong thing. This has taken a toll on my ego too - a grown man who is scared to death of nausea and vomitting. It's embarassing to say the least.

I've had to cancel on hobbies and other commitments numerous times. I've been taking nausetil (sp?) and it seems to help somewhat, but the effects don't last long and they take a while to kick in. I know the battle is 100% psychological, I just don't know how to beat it. Nausea means I feel like I'm about to die.

I'll take your advice on board. Thanks again.

[AndreaAndee]

Hello and welcome! Please don't ever give up! I felt the same way you did when I was a teenager. My fear was all consuming, lost weight, hated going to school, had so many rituals and stupid beliefs. I was hospitalized because I was so underweight. It took a loooonnnng time but I am much better. I'm 47 now, married with 2 kids. I never thought I could do pregnancy, etc. but thankfully my hubby is very helpful...I could never take care of them when they were 'sick' so he would do all that. I still do struggle with anxiety and am on meds for that...I still hate winter and often obsess during that time. So unfortunately, it's still a big part of my life, but at least I am living, it's not controlling me like it used to. Things WILL get better. I really don't think it ever goes away completely, but it can be manageable. Please get help, be honest with your doc, don't feel ashamed or embarrassed...I think you are having huge anxiety and attacks that make you feel so awful. Believe me, anxiety can do a number on you. Take care and hang in there!!!

[Ashale]

Hey there! I know you posted some months ago but I too suffer from extreme panic over nausea and the fact that I could get sick. It has recently become even more overwhelming and with it has brought on major depression. I feel like I can never relax or just be sure I won't be sick or can cope with it if it were to happen. Even though those who highly fear the action itself rarely get sick. My point is it got so bad over this summer that I sought out a functional medical dr as well as my primary dr. 1. I asked for the lowest dosage of Xanax (.25 mg) from my primary that I now take 1/2 to one full pill once a week just for those moments that I just cannot shake and need to perform at the same time (work, an outing etc..). I was anti psych meds but hey if they help and you're responsible with them WHO CARES. And I'm so grateful for them in case of those shaking to death evenings not sure how I can live with this fear anymore moments.
BUT here's the big thing. My functional med dr had me take a neurotransmitter test(urine) and it came back that they were ALL really low. And ALL the symptoms were anxiousness, fatigue, low mood, insomnia, nervous tension, the list goes on! To get to the ROOT of anxiety is key in managing emetophobia. For me it now means a few supplements to calm my neurotransmitters and then in a few few weeks a few more to help build them back. Find support in this PLEASE. A parent, a friend, a loved one of any kind. I'm serious in saying get to your "brain roots." I have also started the emetophobia program called Thrive. It provides a consult 2x a week for 6-8 weeks while you work through a workboook together and challenge your limiting beliefs and beliefs symptoms, esteem, social anxiety, etc... I will say the two supplements I started (just NINE days ago) as provided some steadiness and calm and I went from sleeping 4-6 hours a night to sleeping 8-9 hours and being super anxious and terrified to thinking more of" hey, it's alright. I'm going to allow my body to rest because I deserve it. I am healing."
The take away: Go get a neurotransmitter test. I know there's insurance issues with everyone as in I hear people saying they just can't go to the dr because they don't have undue or the one they have won't cover it. But if it's in your means at all just pay it. I'll pay my salary to eventually find peace and freedom from anxiety and its way of making me obsess and miss life. And when I say I'm terrified of getting sick I'm seriously terrified. I'll do anything not to and I feel emotionally wrecked from it even when I don't and just feel nauseous. You are not emetophobia. You are love and human. Emetophobia is a feeling, a fear, an irrational fear that tricks our mind to think it's really harmful. It's not you though. You're scared. And that's ok. Have self compassion. Allow yourself to miss the arranged meetings etc... without guilt. Again, give yourself the love you are so longing for. You are enough and this is a terrible irrational fear. One step forward one day at a time. You're ok now and you're going to be ok. Not sure if you believe in a high power of any kind but for me it really helps remembering/knowing that I don't have to be in survival mode because there's more than (me). Thank God! Much light and grounding to you. Message me if you need to reach out. You're never a burden. Do what YOU need to do.