I can't believe I've never noticed this site before because I'm always googling about what's wrong with me. I'm 25, female, and I have horrendous anxiety and depression. Ever since I was little I used to have these 'episodes' when I'd suddenly get very cold and shaky, and incredibly nauseous. I wouldn't always vomit, but I'd dry heave relentlessly, sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for over a week. Every time it happened I would be unable to eat - even the smell of food would make me heave and trying to swallow anything made me gag. Any kind of event would trigger it: parties, holidays, trips out. I've been hospitalised once before because I got so weak from lack of food. It's taken me until this year to realise that I was having panic attacks, and that they were made 100% worse by the fact I was so terrified of throwing up. I had a stomach bug in February this year, and I was stuck in an anxiety loop for almost a month. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, I lost over a stone in two weeks, I was dizzy from lack of food and I was in a constant state of anxiety. I just cried and cried, even moved back to my parents' house for a bit to calm down, tried everything until my GP suggested Lorazepam, and that got me back to a manageable level. But now I'm struggling day to day with this ever present fear of another anxiety attack - because anxiety attacks make me vomit, and that makes me more anxious - which is just furthering my anxiety. I wake up in the morning already feeling sick with dread, and some days I can manage it, but most days I just end up crying in a ball because I'm so afraid of getting anxious and sick. I'm still taking the lorazepam when it gets really bad, but I'm aware that I can't rely on it to hide my anxiety. I know that there have been months, even years, in between these 'episodes' of nausea and anxiety, but this time it doesn't seem to want to go away. I'm frightened of eating, I'm frightened of cooking, of doing the grocery shopping, of going anywhere in case I vomit. It's ruining my life, or rather, ruining what was left of it. It's made my depression so much worse because I can't see an end to it, and every day I contemplate killing myself. I think if I wasn't so scared that an overdose would just make me sick, I'd have done that by now. I'm waiting for CBT on the NHS but it's likely to still take months, and I live in an area where the mental health support is very limited. How do you guys keep going? Do you have any tips for how to handle this anxiety-nausea? Does it ever get any better?