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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Canada
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    701

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    I'm feeling so frustrated and defeated!


    My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 3 months now and I just got my period again today. I don't know what we are doing wrong. I have been tracking my temperature, and using an OPK so we are nailing the timing right on.


    I know it is ridiculous to feel this way after only 3 months, but it seems like everyone I hear aboutgot pregnant on the first try except me. I don't know what else to do. We are going to try a fertility monitor this month, I guess.


    I just feel like there is something wrong with me. It seems like everything I do in my life always has to be a struggle. It can never proceed as "normal".


    Sorry about my rant. I just needed to tell someone.


    happyteacher

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
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    1,061

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    Happyteacher - I know it seems a longtime but three months really isn't really that long. Now you don't have to answer this, but how often do you do "it" each month, I mean, when I was trying, I would start at say day 12 of my cycle and do "it" every day for 7-9 days. Yes, I was tired, and I have to admit I kind of lost interest after 3 consecutive days (LOL, he didn't!), but it worked...took about three months with each.


    You really don't have to answer this....!!


    I know that you're doing the temperature thing and the OPK etc., why not just relax and enjoy it for a while - anxiety and stress don't help, if anything they can hinder things. Don't put too much pressure on yourselves, it will happen!Edited by: suze

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    United States
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    78

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    I got preg in the 2nd month and that was with trying about every other day each month--I was very motivated. With my first pregnancy 7 years ago, it took only one month. I think it's because I am very fertile, but fertility seems to decrease as you age for most people. My sister-in-law and my cousin both had to try for about 3 years before they got pregnant, but eventually both did. It just takes more time for some than others. Try to relax and not take it too seriously--the stress and pressure you are putting on yourself may be causing the problem. It will happen and in the meantime, just have fun!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
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    I know how frustrating it is to see aunt flow! It took me 4 months to finally get pregnant.


    I will tell you what I did.


    I chart my basal body temperature on Fertility Friend. I kept an eye on cervical mucous. Some women chart cervical position.I also used a trial version of Hormonal Forcaster software and that is awesome. When I had my last daughter my cycles changed. My cycles went from 28 days to 25 days. I could feel when I ovulated. I would ovulate on cycle day 9 or 10! Which is very early. Once I pinpointed that...I got pregnant.


    There are many sites and message boards that can help you. If you would like some links please let me know.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


    Do you have kids or will this be your first one?Edited by: madisonsmom

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,931

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    Oh yea...my husband and I would do the dirty every other day instead of every day. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    701

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    madisonsmom,


    This is my first child.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    1,969

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    All I can say is, arn't you having fun trying?


    you know, one thing that can interefere with getting pregnant is putting pressure on yourself by trying too hard.In my human sexuality class I read of research that actually shows when the pressure is taken off,many women get pregnant very soon after.


    Mother nature has a plan, and you might have to try for many more months for it to happen! Not every woman gets pregnant right away, for some its a bit harder, which isnt a bad thing. You probably won't ever have to deal with getting pregnant ( while using birth control) when you dont want to!


    3 months is not a long time! I don't have any kids, but I know of lots of women who took ALOT longer than that!


    enjoy the trying part, and, with everything else being normal, it WILL happen. Its been awhile since I took that class, but I think my prof said something like 50% of women get pregnant within the first 3 months, and 80% within 6 months. anything under a year is considered somewhat normal.


    (or you could always use the homer simpson method - dress up like a cheerleader and go parking, hehe).
    ~*Jill*~ Teacher, Advanced BSc in Psychology

    "You can unlock any door as long as you have the right key". Mrs. Brisby, Secret of Nimh

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    213

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    Happyteacher -


    It took me 9 months to get pregnant the first time. My doctor told me there were alot of things that could play a factor in that. After 8 months of trying and me being frustrated, he did recommend that after my husband and I were "finished", my husband shouldn't "exit" (for lack of a better term here)for 10 minutes. I was pregnant the next month. He also explained that male sperm cells are really fast but only live about 24 hours, while female sperm cells are slow moving but live for up to 72 hours. So... even if you don't hit the actual day of ovulation, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.


    Hang in there .... it will happen!


    Marby

 

 

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