Hey!(warning: I am not censoring the v* word or any other words in thispost)

SoI joined this site... goodness knows when. I think I was 12 or13 years old. I'm 20 now, and though I do still suffer fromemetophobia, I want to share my most recent triumph with you guys! Icouldn't believe it when I opened this forum to find no topics -given how many active members there are, it's so disheartening not tosee more triumphs. Don't forget to give yourself credit for thelittle things!

Soanyway, I offered to volunteer at my old primary school (elementaryschool) a few days ago, and they got back to me within a few hours toaccept me. We all know what these schools are like - incubators forgerms!! But becoming a teaching assistant has appealed to me forquite some time now, and I'd love to get some experience to find outif it's the right job for me. Maybe it won't be, and that's fine. Butwhat if it is? I can't waste the next forty years of my life doing ajob I don't like just because I was too afraid of dealing with vomitevery now and then in the job I could have loved. Besides, theexposure to germs and vomit will probably be the last push I need toreally beat this thing for good.

Ithink it is possible to overcome emetophobia. I don't even think youneed to expose yourself. The two things I did were as follows:

1.Pushed myself into situations that made me anxious, such as takingtrains and buses, eating food at restaurants, etc.
2.Negating every anxious thought about vomit that popped into my headby returning it with a calm, positive and safe one.

Thefirst one is self explanatory. The second one needs a bit of anexplanation! For the last year or two, every time an anxious thoughthas popped into my head ('Oh no, I'm going to be sick one day and Iwon't be able to handle it!' or 'What if I'm sick? I feel sick!'),I've countered it immediately with something calm ('I can deal withvomiting, vomiting is the body's way of taking care of itself, it'ssafe and fine to do'). And even though the effects have been slow,it's really made a difference. If I feel sick now, I might shake alittle at first, but I don't panic any more. I just forget about it.I go out to places even when I don't feel well. And the thought ofdealing with a child vomiting does not fill me with dread any more,but sympathy. The anxiety's still there, just a bit, because I'mafraid that I'll catch something, but every time I catch myselfworrying about that, I'll remind myself that it's OK, because I candeal with it

I'mabout to start some more therapy and I'm going to see if I can get onsome medication, just because the lingering stress/anxiety will bequite hard to deal with over the first few weeks (I've never even hada job before, let alone one with small children), but I am 100%confident that I am nearly there and that I will kick this phobia'sbutt before it kicks mine :P

I'vebeen through hell with this phobia. I know what it's like to obsessevery minute of every day, to startle at every cough across the room,to curl up in bed and just cry because the world is just out to makeyou sick and you'd choose not existing any more over existing in aworld with vomit if the option was given to you. And hey, I stillhave those days. But they're farther between than ever. I'm goingback now to the place I tried to desperately hard to avoid as a childbecause I was so scared of being sick there. I have never been moreproud of myself.

Ihope that maybe this brings some kind of comfort to anybody activelyseeking to overcome emet. You CAN do it, you WILL do it, and you AREdoing it, every single day.
~ M