Hopeless, please help

[heather29]

I'm 17 and have suffered with emetophobia for most of my life, and it only impacted my life occasionally but for a while now it has been severe and I panic about it 24/7. It started effecting me badly when I was out with my family and I was eating and suddenly I started choking and gagging violently and had the biggest panic attack of my life, and then after that I was so shaken I didn't want to leave my house ever again. I'm constantly in a state of anxiety; breathlessness, chest pains, shaking and sweating and can't seem to stop it or calm myself down. I know it's all in my head and sometimes I wonder if it does happen it wouldn't be so bad, but then when I start to feel even slightly nauseous (which is most of the time since I think about it so much) I feel like my whole world is crashing down.

I rarely leave my house, and if I do the anxiety is intense and I just want to go home, and I can't go anywhere unless I'm in the car because for some reason it makes me feel safer. I think this is because I'm scared of it happening in public more than if it happened in privacy, even though I would be just as devastated if it happened at home.

I constantly worry about eating so I'm losing weight and I dropped out of college because I was so overwhelmed with worry that I hardly attended. So I have no qualifications or social life and I just spend every day at home dwelling on my fears. I try to distract myself from my thoughts but they always seem to be in the back of my mind no matter what I'm doing.

I'm really annoyed that I've let this fear take over my life, I want to be enjoying myself like most people my age and not wasting it to this stupid phobia. My problems are effecting my family too, they're disappointed that I'm no longer in education and they just think I'm just being lazy or rebellious even though they know about my fear. It's making me feel so guilty for being this way. I would really appreciate some advice because I don't know what to do

[Dahliaolive]

Are you able to seek therapy? It could really help, at least wi dealing with anxiety...enough to be happier while you figure things out.