So I am not afraid of v*ing myself. I don't like getting SVs but I can handle them.

My awful fear is of other people and animals v*ing. I have a fainting issue and was in a very very busy ER and in a wheelchair. I have a fear of hospitals because I associate them with people v*ing. I was in this particular waiting room for 3 hours before being brought back to a room (thankfully a private room). When I had gotten there my mom was waiting. We sat there and I was panicking already.
Not 10 minutes later, a girl came in with a bucket. I immediately became hysterical. I was crying and plugging my ears despite the IV hurting in my arm. I started crying louder when she actually did v*. Shaking and carrying on, snot running down my face, while my mother covered my ears and held me, rubbing my shoulder. And they put her in a wheelchair and wheeled her past me. That made me more hysterical. I finally semi calmed down. Then later on there was a girl with a blue see through bag. Luckily she made it to the bathroom every time, I was still on edge. I tried to make things better by talking to others. I didn't fully calm until I was in my own private room. It doesn't even keep me up at night.
A baby did a little s* u* but I wasn't as affected by that. Baby steps maybe?

Anytime someone has a pink bucket or something I know they will get sick and I get stressed out and start shaking. It almost feels as if I will poop my pants before I panic. Hahaha

I was always afraid of people coughing because I thought they would get s*. School was a nightmare.
I don't even remember how this started or when. I know since I was little it was a fear. Not even because I fear myself getting s*. I could care less. Hey, less work right? For some reason it just triggers me. I can't hear it, see it, smell it or anything. I will become hysterical.

I have a hard time living with other people or dating. My ex used to have a couple nights where food wouldn't agree with him and he would v*. I would ask, shaking, "Are you ok?" "You won't p* again?" "You're ok?" It would annoy him. "Yes, I am fine. I just had to get the bad food out."

Anyways, I know that I need to get over this before I can even think about enlisting in the military. It really hurts me to know that this is my fear. Why can't I be like steel like those nurses who can pat people on the back while they v* for comfort?
My biggest dream, I feel, is ruined because of this. I just want to serve my country. I was even born on a Patriotic day. But I feel selfish for letting my fear stop me.