Anyone else have an Eating Disorder?

[purpleteacher]

I have an eating disorder (ED) in addition to my emet and it is horrible. I never know if my N* is caused by my ED or by my emet or my anxiety or if I'm REALLY ill. I have terrible side effects because of my ED and it only makes my emet worse.


It is so frustrating... Can anyone else relate?

[helenhd]

i don't have an ED but i can kind of relate. two years ago right after my emet got really bad i had some serious problems eating. i had pneumonia so i wasn't eating much and then my emet hit its peak and so i was scared to eat. it got to the point where i would put food in my mouth and i'd have to spit it back out again. it was awful. my doctor told me i could eat whatever i wanted i just needed to eat because i was losing weight andif i didn't eat anything i would become anorexic.the more i didn't eat the harder it was to start eating again. sometimes i would get sooooo hungry and i couldn't tell if it was in fact hunger or n*. it was pretty bad. but i'm okay now. i forget how i got over it but it took a while. i hope you are okay though! it must be really tought to have an ED ontop of emet! stay strong!

[purpleteacher]

I have lost the ability to identify hunger. 2x in the last 2 days have I mistaken hunger for N* and have started to panic. It has been a nightmare... it is like my body no longer feels hunger and I don't know how to gage when I am full or when I need to eat or how much or little to eat because my stomach ALWAYS hurts.

[samara's on tv]

I have a weird ED...because I will only eat CERTAIN foods that I feel "Safe" with. My psychiatrist said that this is an ED because it's preventing me from getting the nutrition that I need. I'm supposed to go to an eating disorder clinic but I haven't really called them yet. He said that Emetophobia in itself can be an eating disorder. It's not that I DON'T eat, it's just I'm not eating healthy enough. Does that make any sense?


Anyway, there was a period of time where I wasn't eating AT ALL. I was afraid that I was going to V* whenever I ate. I don't know how I got over it. I think it had a lot to do with my therapist. She always said to me, "Eat...I promise you won't V*" and for some reason hearing her voice in my head saying that really helped me. I don't know why. I didn't believe it when other people said it to me, but when SHE said it to me it really worked. Maybe you need to find someone like that you can trust to tell you that you won't get sick from eating. Hell, it worked for me.


~Monica

[purpleteacher]

I have this incredible fear of becoming fat and I'm a "large girl" to begin with, so that makes getting skinny or small impossible. I will never be a stick because I will turn into a walking skeleton first. I am just a big girl and I never even remember wearing an adult size small! I am currently medium-large (stupid hipbones!) and I know I won't ever get *tiny*because it isn't physically possible for my frame.


A lot of my ED revolves around me being petrified that whatever I will eat I might V*, so I just don't eat. I get really bad during the winter and flu-ish months because I will stop eating for days because I have this stupid rationalization that "if I don't eat, I can't V*" (even though I know this isn't true). I guess you would just say I would rather V* nothing than V* something. I never knew that this type of behavior might actually be considered an ED in and of itself. I am malnurished because I only eat certain things and then I will simply stop eating and or drinking completely for days on end - talk about chronic dehydration?!!?


I just hate feeling so trapped within my own skin. I want to be thin, as in thin to me, but I don't want to V* - which is what I am afraid food will make me do. It is a sick and twisted and warped mental state I get into. Winter months are always the worst... and mycurrent job, even though I love it dearly, makes my fears go even more insane because everyone around me is sick.

[falon_17]

I also sometimes go through periods where my emet gets so bad, I don't eat for days. I'll end up so weak that I just give in and eat something like toast. But a lot of it has to do with not being able to tell the difference between hunger and nausea, normal stomach noises/feelings and nausea/cramping, and especially when someone around me has a sv, I waitabout2 daysto be sure I'm not sick before I eat again. Because I'm afraid to eat a lot I am also malnourished...my calcium is low and my potassium is so low it causes me to have heart palpitations. About 98% of the times I put food in my mouth, I think of V*. And then after I haven't eaten in a couple days, when I finally do eat again it can make my stomach feel funny getting used to the food again I guess, and I confuse that with nausea, then it starts all over again.

[neesy]

I have really bad emet days but it never ever stops me from eating - I do love my food! One reason is that I tell myself that if I don't eat, my immune system will weaken and then I will be more open to bugs!


I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. I have an actimel or similar every morning and try and eat probiotic yogurts when I can.


When my emet gets bad I find I don't want to go out but I make myself because I won't let this horrid phobia take over me (although it has affected my life and also my son's life in so many ways by not doing things because of being around too many people (more so young children) etc etc)


I hate this phobia but I am dammed if I am going to totally let it ruin my life!


Neesy x[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[missy77]

I'm just like monica, i only eat certain foods that i feel safe with. i just started going to an eating disorder clinic. i too eat, just not healthy enough. i'm having a real hard time right now. i need to gain 15 lbs, well thats what the doc says. it is really really hard for me. i'm tired all the time. everthing hurts. i don't know what to do

[violet]

I do believe that im starting to develope one no matter who much I try and stop it, or even just not eat for a bit and try stop my mind from thinking about it.


I just wish that It would stop I can not so much hear but feel the thoughts of it starting especially every time I eat.


this is affecting nearly every part of my life, I dont eat out anymore "at all" no fast food or anything, I spend an hour out shopping when just getting bread to see if it isnt mouldy....


Feel like tearing my hair out sometimes :S


xVx

[jenneth]

i wouldn't say i have an eating disorder, i always eat 3 times a day, even if its just a sandwich. BUT i have always been petrified of being fat, and i see myself as fat, although others say i'm not. i don't think i'll ever be happy with my weight/how my body looks, but it really gets me down sometimes. my friend is anorexic, he gets really frustrated with me trying to help him, sometimes he says he wants to get better, for me to help him, but i dont think he really does. i obviously don't understand what it is like to have an ED but i guess it is something you can never really beat. do you guys think i am doing the right thing trying to help him, i can't exactly let one of my best mates waste away can i?

jen

Edited by: jenneth

[s_snow]

Well, i also never know wnen my nausea is real, and when is imagine. I had gastritis, because i dont eat when i go somewhere.


When I go to school in morning, my first meal is around 3-4 PM. And when i go in the afternoon i only eat yougurt, some cerials.... im starving, but never eat at shool...[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[purpleteacher]

Well, i also never know wnen my nausea is real, and when is imagine. I had gastritis, because i dont eat when i go somewhere.


When I go to school in morning, my first meal is around 3-4 PM. And when i go in the afternoon i only eat yougurt, some cerials.... im starving, but never eat at shool...[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

That causes gastritis? Do you burp a lot with yours?? I have been having excessive burping issues recently and not always when I'm nervous, which is when I swallow the most air.

[crazy_me_84]

I suffer from an ED, partly as a result of the emet and partly due to non-emet issues, but yes, emet definately makes things worse. My diet is so poor that i'm surprised that i'm not very, very ill due to malnutrition. i have a tiny list of 'safe' foods and will eat little else. I make excuses not to eat and leave the house at 'mealtimes' (except dinner) to avoid eating. I hide foods in tissues at mealtimes with family, put food in my mouth and spit them out... food is a major problem for me.I'd do ANYTHING to avoid the risk of v*. I know its so irrational but I really cannot help it. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[violet]

I suffer from an ED, partly as a result of the emet and partly due to non-emet issues, but yes, emet definately makes things worse. My diet is so poor that i'm surprised that i'm not very, very ill due to malnutrition. i have a tiny list of 'safe' foods and will eat little else. I make excuses not to eat and leave the house at 'mealtimes' (except dinner) to avoid eating. I hide foods in tissues at mealtimes with family, put food in my mouth and spit them out... food is a major problem for me.I'd do ANYTHING to avoid the risk of v*. I know its so irrational but I really cannot help it. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

I know what you mean by being surprised that you arent very ill from malnutrition my list of "safe" foods are so small as well its a wonder im not.


Nice to see you on my msn crazy_me_84 lol x

[chibi]

I dont know if mine is an ED or not.
I have been losing even more weight ever since moving in with my fiances family. That is mostly because there is not enough room for me to have all my own food, and because I get in peoples way if i want to make my own dinner, yet I usually wont eat what they are eating. Whereas I was eating meals for dinner every night when I was in an apartment, sometimes now i just eat nothing or just toast. I am only 5' tall and my weight is not too bad, but I am around 110 right now and people notice that I am thin. I have been getting better about eating though, I used to starve myself for days when I got scared but now I try to keep eating even when I am scared, so long as I feel hungry.. because I know I need to. But definately, I cant eat huge portions of anything anymore, it doesnt take much to fill me up, and I am worried about my weight. I really should not lose any more.
However I have no feelings of fear of being fat or fear that I dont look good, no self image issues other than I really dont care how I look most of the time. So its not like annorexia its just Im afraid to eat sometimes.