Hi, I haven't posted here for a while. I had emetophobia really bad about thirty years ago and over the years it has been up and down but not as bad as it was in the 1980s. The fear is always there, as many of you will know, but I am now able to eat normally (sometimes eating too much) and go about life generally. I tend to only panic when I actually feel sick but don't think about it all the time like I used to do. I do get migraines too and can usually just take a tablet and wait for it to go which it usually does and the nausea never turns to anything so I am able to cope with it.

However, yesterday, after a good Christmas with my family and eating normally, I got home and settled down to watch the telly after having a nice bath. I have had a cold recently but that has almost gone. I started to feel a migraine coming on so I had my usual tablet. I had even been eating some fudge before this which I love. I tried to settle down again but I felt this panic wash over me and I just couldn't lay there watching telly so I got up and paced about my flat (I live alone by the way), I had a really bad panic attack, was hot over and then, the worse part which really sent me over the edge and something I haven't had for years, my mouth started watering, just as it does when you are about to V. I went in my bedroom, laid on my bed trying to supress it, I even actually heaved at one stage as I couldn't stop it but nothing happened. Eventually I fell asleep and woke up at 11.00 am this morning. I don't feel sick anymore but I am terrified of it coming on again and of getting the full blown fear again and it restricting my life in certain ways.

I am on leave from work at the moment, am needing to go out and get food. I am usually one who hates staying in and will go out no matter what but I now I am feeling wary of going out. I am fine with living on my own but when this comes on it makes me feel more vulnerable. I guess I need to make myself go out and also eating something as I haven't eaten since yesterday morning.