Struggling again

[Airforcemedic103]

Hi all. For so many years I was debilitated by the fear, and it ruined my marriage. Hell, it ruined my life. I could touch or talk to anyone for fear of catching something. It destroyed a career I was proud of. Then I got a handle on it for quite awhile and then these last few months, my obsessive compulsions have gotten so much worse and I feel like I’m back to the beginning. I feel like I’ll never recover and this will own me forever. I’m getting remarried soon and my fiancé is amazing at understanding as much as he can, but it makes me feel damaged.

Does anyone have any advice? Pep talks? Hope?

Tonight is particularly tough for me. Couple panic attacks already at work. I’m so tired.

[CMM811]

I understand the feelings of “damaged” so much but your fiancé seems very supportive and that’s when you lean on them. My ex was “ok” with my fears, but my husband is my rock when I’m panicking, sometimes he will know I am when I haven’t even said anything he just reads me. That in itself can help so much, and my hubby is really good at helping me distract even when I try to push him away. I have my good months and bad months. Sometimes my compulsions are overwhelming but he’s learned to handle them and go with the flow and help my kids go through the motions too. Believe it or not my second child has helped my fears lessen and “chill” me out a lot more and the older they get the less I struggle. When they were both young young it was a everyday thing. Now it is only when I know they/we’ve been exposed or it’s going around bad. I hope your night got better you are doing awesome and you are NOT damaged!

[Airforcemedic103]

I’m so frustrated. I’m not sure how to get better? The panic attacks just won’t stop. Is it possible to get over the obsession?

[Lavalife10]

Hang in there. I understand. It baffles me. I was very high IQ growing up, like bussed to the high school for my classes from elementary (late elementary like 5th and 6th, I’m not doogie howser or anything) and my dad would say, “your the smartest person I know, you have to know you will be okay!?!”

And i do. Logically in my brain in hypothetical situations. When it is happening, I can’t make it stop. I wish I knew how.

[thecheesecake17]

I think you may need to just focus on the fact that you went through a good spell where it calmed down - if you've been there before you can go back, you just need to retrace your steps of how you got there...and maybe accepting that you've flared up again in panic/anxiety due to the time of year will help you. The amount of posts on here I've seen this month compared to September/October is insane... My main near v* related posts are without doubt always December, Jan and Feb. Then I tone down.

Remember our anxieties are mostly just lies our brain construct which don't come true 98% of the time, especially with this fear... If you try counting how many times you THOUGHT you were gonna get sick versus when you WERE sick, I bet the numbers are very uneven.. I totally get you though..and hope you're ok

[Theshadow]

I had that as well and recently had a relapse last month, so I am trying to get back to that place.