Boyfriend sick - anxiety through the roof

[Hannahhoch]

I’m 22 (almost 23, on Jan 13th) and I’ve been living with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I’ve struggled with emetophobia pretty much my whole life, but it got worse in my last couple years of high school and in college. We share a tiny apartment with one (tiny) bathroom. I’ve always been slightly nervous for the day that he would be sick in the night. Well last night it happened... he got up just about every hour to use the restroom. No vomiting, just diarrhea. We hadn’t been drinking and we had the same things to eat all weekend so I’m almost positive it is a virus. He felt better towards 5 pm and decided to go coach (he’s a wrestling coach and coaches kids age 5-17, which is where I think he picked this crud up).

I sterilized the bathroom this morning and have been vilagent about keeping my hands clean and cleaning all surfaces he might have touched. I’m having flashbacks to three years ago when we first started dating (weren’t living together yet) and he gave me the norovirus which I then spread to my roommate. I don’t want to get sick, mainly because I’m nervous about missing work. Calling in sick gives me almost more anxiety than the prospect of actually contracting the illness / possibly vomiting. Does anyone else have more anxiety about missing work or being sick in public than being sick at home or on the weekend?

[thecheesecake17]

That's an interesting one! When I worked at an office from Sept 2016-Sept 2017 I definitely got horrible anxiety about phoning in however, I'd risk any job if I felt really unwell ... You make a good point.

Sounds like your bf had a mild tummy virus or perhaps something didn't agree with Jim, how is he now?
When I lived with my ex for 2 years and he picked up noro, I had a week of exams coming up and was PETRIFIED so left him to quarantine myself in case I caught/spread it. But I think you'll be perfectly fine honestly

[kateseeks]

Calling in sick definitely gives me anxiety too, but not as much as possibly being sick. Last year my boyfriend got sick too and it was our first year living together. I was soooo nervous! However, I didn't catch it! Yay! Hope that gives you some hope! Good luck

[Hannahhoch]

He is doing better, he still has D* and says his lower abdomen is slightly uncomfortable but he also hasn’t eaten hardly anything for 36 hrs. We are at hr 36 and I’m still ok! I went to work and have mild anxiety but I’m pretty sure if I can make it to 72 hrs I’ll have cleared it.

Still being very consistent with hand washing and vilagent about cleaning the restroom. Can’t wait until we move in a few weeks to a bigger place with two full baths! I can quarantine him next time!!

[tiredofitall]

I can totally relate to the anxiety regarding calling in sick to work. I’m a teacher so calling in sick is a lot of work. You have to make detailed sub plans so the kids have something to do while you aren’t there, then you have to find a trusted coworker to email your plans to so they can print them and leave them on your desk for the substitute. Then you have to hope you get a competent sub (there aren’t many) who will actually follow your plans for the day. It’s exhausting and really not worth it unless you are really sick and simply can’t work. I’ve been at my school for 11 years and have almost 100 sick days saved because I rarely use them. It’s just such a hassle.

[Hannahhoch]

Update. Boyfriend still pretty sick. He didn’t work yesterday 1/2 and won’t work today 1/3. His D* is still bad, he has been getting up multiple times each night since Sunday night and now it is Wednesday morning. He is complaining of abdominal pain that is centralized in the lower abdomen but occasionally spreads over to his side... he is a tough guy, an elite wrestler who is no strange to sickness and pain, and he is moaning and groaning. I am still fine. I’ve disinfected the house and have washed all the sheets but I’m still worried about viruses that have longer incubation periods.


I don’t think it could be noro as he has no other symptoms besides D* and lower abdominal pain. No nausea. No aches. No headaches. Appendicitis? I’m getting worried. I hope it isn’t catchable and I hope he is gonna get better soon.

[Hannahhoch]

Update. Boyfriend still pretty sick. He didn’t work yesterday 1/2 and won’t work today 1/3. His D* is still bad, he has been getting up multiple times each night since Sunday night and now it is Wednesday morning. He is complaining of abdominal pain that is centralized in the lower abdomen but occasionally spreads over to his side... he is a tough guy, an elite wrestler who is no stranger to sickness and pain, and he is moaning and groaning. I am still fine. I’ve disinfected the house and have washed all the sheets but I’m still worried about viruses that have longer incubation periods.


I don’t think it could be noro as he has no other symptoms besides D* and lower abdominal pain. No nausea. No aches. No headaches. Appendicitis? I’m getting worried. I hope it isn’t catchable and I hope he is gonna get better soon.

We are at hour 60.

[jmoore10]

This does not sound like SV. I would be more concerned about the fact that the pain has centralized to his lower abdomen. I believe that is how appendicitis present themselves. I also think D* is a symptom but don't quote me on that.
I would get him to an urgent care for blood work to see if his white blood cell count is abnormal-that is one way an appendicitis can be diagnosed

[Hannahhoch]

Thanks for all of your replies! He is still sick. Will go to doctor tomorrow if not better. I’m still fine! Almost to 72 hrs.

[MichelleKS2018]

Any updates on your boyfriend?

[Hannahhoch]

Boyfriend was sick for 6 days! No v* or n* at all just cramps and queasiness and d*. We know people who had similar symptoms so we think it was an sv*. But I never got it! Crossing my fingers.. he has been normal for 3 days now, but I know he can be contagious for up to a week and there might be contaminants in our house for up to two. So I’m still being careful. My hands are raw from how much I’ve been washing them, but we share a tiny bathroom so I think it is almost impossible to prevent infection, I’m thinking I might have fought it off? I had a sv* a couple weeks ago with a couple near incidents of v*, and then it turned into a cold which I had for a week - maybe antibodies from that infection killed this one? Maybe it’s the same infection, but we responded differently? I’m just happy he is better and I’m still fine.

[thecheesecake17]

Hannah, what symptoms did you get with yours? I've been trying to sus out what I had two weeks ago , I also felt rather close to v* although it wasn't the very worse n* I've ever had. Also I'm glad your bf is feeling better. I live with my three family members who caught different strains of a virus that same week as I has the tummy thing and I'm wondering whether it manifested differently

[MichelleKS2018]

Different people do respond differently to viruses. Sv depend on how many particles get ingested. For instance mt 7 year old daughter Madison and I have both just been sick. Mine I thought was constipation at first but then I got one of those hot feelings. And then my nausea started coming on. I v 1 time and had d off and on for around 12 hours. My daughter got sick Sunday at 7pm v until 3 am, no d was fine all day yesterday woke up today and v today.

[Hannahhoch]

My symptoms were as follows:

Weds Dec 13th: had some fast food, felt n* after but it felt mainly like I was too full / the food was sitting in my tummy
Thurs Dec 14th: Woke up feeling extremely n*. Felt like it could just be anxiety, so I pushed through it and went to work. After a couple hours it just kept getting worse, I felt like I might v*. I tried eating some yogurt, didn't help. Took a zofran, kind of helped - at least prevented me from actually v*ing. Felt better after lunch, but not 100%. Went to bed as soon as I got home
Fri Dec 15h: Woke up in the middle of the night and was so n* I sat by the toilet and tried to relax because I knew I was going to v*. I relaxed and stopped my shaking, thinking to myself "omg I actually want to v* so I can get some relief from this n*!!". Mouth watered, bad taste in my mouth, no v* - that's just how good my body is at not v*ing. Went back to bed two hours later. Called in sick. Felt better all day, mild queasiness - but I think I could have worked.
Sat Dec 16th: Terrible n* again, took a zofran, felt better. Aches, fatigue. Laid around and watched Netflix and hung out with my dogs. Noticed a tickle in my throat.
Sun Dec 17th: Stomach all better but tickle in my throat turned into a sore throat/chest. Coughing, sneezing, and terrible body aches / head ache. Some n* but the kind you get when you are really achey, not like before.
Mon Dec 18th - Fri Dec 22nd: TERRIBLE cold. Bad aches. Congestion of ears and nose (which gave me anxiety because I had vertigo for the first time a few months ago and was so afraid it would happen again, it didn't). Terrible aches. Sneezing. Coughing. EXTREMELY tired.
Finally felt better on Sat the 23rd, just in time for Christmas.

I don't think what my bf had was the same bug.. it happened too far out for it to be, right? Also when I think of viruses manifesting differently, I think of one person getting d* while others v*. My dad, who is a doctor, thought I had influenza, because it can cause n*/v*. Who knows.

[gumdropper1]

Congratulations on making it through the illness, Hannah.

When you wanted to vomit, did you try doing the sharp breaths I describe in the Vomiting FAQ? If you're severely nauseated and want to "get it over with," as non-emets say, take two quick, sharp breaths and then two more.