What/why is this fear?

[Domtee94]

I had a session with my therapist today where we spoke more in depth about my emetophobia since I've been dealing with nausea for the last 48 hours and I had a fairly bad panic attack last night where I was only able to fall asleep because I mentally exhausted myself. During this discussion I ended up talking in a lot more detail about what it really is about this fear that I dislike and it brought a lot to my attention. I realised that it's not necessarily the act of v* that bothers me (yes it's unpleasant, but then again I'm pretty sure no one on this planet 'likes' it) as it's usually pretty quick; it's the huge amount of uncertainty and lack of knowing that frightens me the most.

There are so many unknown variables that come along with the act: what caused it, why am I feeling n*, have I eaten anything dodgy, what is this sensation in my stomach, will it happen, how long will it happen for, will it happen once and that's it, will it continue all day/night, will I make it to a toilet in time, will anyone see me, how long will it take me to recover, how long until I can eat/drink normally again - all of which I think is quite nicely summarised in the phrase 'when can I just get on with my life normally again?' I'm sure it's the same for a lot of you but I really like to be in control of my life, so an event such as v* that comes with so many things I can't control is probably one of the most terrifying things for me.

My session ended with my therapist saying that it sounded like my emetophobia isn't really the root of the problem (although I do have a particularly traumatic memory of a certain time when it happened I was 10) and that it I actually have a fear of the unknown from which the emetophobia stems. I was told that in order to conquer this fear, I need to learn to let go of my need to control everything and to just accept that bad things can happen but they are only temporary. I suppose this is why I'm always given mindfulness exercises to do every week since they deal with focussing on the present moment.

I'm not totally sure if I'm going anywhere with this thread, but I guess I wanted to share some things that I discovered about myself in the hope that it might also click with some of you. If I was going to ask a question to anyone reading this I guess it would be something like, what is it exactly that you are afraid of and why?

[cmu315]

I think all of that makes a lot of sense!

[avset231]

I actually agree with you on the fear of loosing control. It's a big part of my emet, too.

Mine actually stems from my mother being terrified of it when I was younger. I remember having strep and telling my dad that my belly hurts and she literally ran out of the room. And her crying and panicking, because she once v* because she drank too much wine. Luckily, I only remember having one sv* in my life (I'm 19) and I remember her being locked in her bedroom the entire time and my dad comforting me because I was really scared it won't ever stop (I think maybe that's my ''traumatic experience'').

I did once again v* when I was 16 and I had too much to drink (because, do 16-year olds even have limits?) and my mom was okay with it, she actually laughed at me because she thought it was hilarious and I still don't really know why, because I was terrified and I remember trying to stop it, even though I was drunk. I am the same way as her, I'm terrified of people v* near me, but if it's from alcohol, I'm always ready to help them out, even if they v* really close to me or even on my clothes. It actually bothers me less than it bothers non-emets.

[thecheesecake17]

OP, I found your post intriguing! "Fear of the unknown".... So interesting. I sometimes feel like the fear of paranormal events are a worlds difference from health anxiety such as emetophobia, as feeling/being s* is such an unthreatening thing, if we get s*, nothing in the atmosphere changes except for our perception which will unfortunately associate certain songs, days of the week, clothes with the horrid feeling BUT.. in reality, our bathrooms, houses, world will remain the same as opposed to paranormal "aura"s which are in my opinion, PETRIFYING. However, they are both linked in the uncertainty of what's going on! My friend said that's why people fear flying because we are relying on a bunch of immense capabilities of piloting and engine but all the while just being human on top of well, LOTS of sky haha.

That's an interesting thought...

[Dairyfreelife]

OP, I found your post intriguing! "Fear of the unknown".... So interesting. I sometimes feel like the fear of paranormal events are a worlds difference from health anxiety such as emetophobia, as feeling/being s* is such an unthreatening thing, if we get s*, nothing in the atmosphere changes except for our perception which will unfortunately associate certain songs, days of the week, clothes with the horrid feeling BUT.. in reality, our bathrooms, houses, world will remain the same as opposed to paranormal "aura"s which are in my opinion, PETRIFYING. However, they are both linked in the uncertainty of what's going on! My friend said that's why people fear flying because we are relying on a bunch of immense capabilities of piloting and engine but all the while just being human on top of well, LOTS of sky haha.

That's an interesting thought...

I think uncertainty does play a factor as well as losing control, but I also think it is more than just that. I think in the act of being sick, there's that feeling of being unable to stop or breath sort of feeling. Anything that causes you to feel like you cannot breathe (even if you can) can cause anxiety. I think it's similar to the fear of drowning and water for some people.
While I think that relying on others can be a reason many people are scared of flying, but I don't think it's just that because the same people aren't scared to ride in a train or bus which relies on everything working and a driver/engineer who knows what they are doing. I think the biggest thing is again, lack of control. It is scary to feel unable to do anything and in an airplane there's not a way to just get off. Trains have frequent stops, buses can pull off the road, but in an airplane, you are just stuck. Could also be the thought and awareness of being so high up for some too. While most people know that airplanes are really the safest form of travel and far safer than taking a car to the destination, some people just think "stuck in a big metal bus bird 30,000 feet up in the air going 400mph for several hours."
I do think once a phobia begins for whatever reason, there's suddenly a bunch of new thoughts related to it that cause the mind to run wild. The thoughts are completely ridiculous, but are there and make everything worse. I've had so many crazy thoughts about my phobias and they are all so insane when I stop and actually think about them, but it's that moment when those thoughts arise that if we don't take notice and calm them down can just run wild.

I wish you luck in your therapy OP and hope you can conquer this fear.