I had my first day of therapy and she made me start to feel good about tackling my fear.
My first day of work was today and it was so much worse then I ever could imagine. Before I even started it came over he radio that some kids V* then they stuck me in a hot little room with 20 kids in prek all spitting and biting and touching me. I made it through my shift then proceeded to go home and have one of the biggest mental breakdowns I have ever had. I had a bottle of bleach in one hand, in hysterics that I couldn't get myself clean. (I took a shower but I know I'm still going to fear getting sick for the next 2 weeks, I know i wont eat for the next two days, )
Now I have to quit my job that took nearly 5 months to get everything in order for, They really needed people and they scheduled me now they have to call people in last minute.
How do I go about telling them? I feel like such a loser. And like they are going to hate me.