I just wanted to make some sort of "psychologist" comments on both of your heart-felt stories of how you believe your emetophobia developed. Thank you, first of all, for sharing those stories with us.
Zachary,
It seems to me that your father's reaction to vomiting people is infinitely more important than what happened to you in 4th grade. I assume you experienced him leaving the room when someone was sick before that incident in the 4th grade. Or perhaps there may have been a comment he made about sickness that you may not even remember. Our relationship with our parents is so very very important in our early development. And if your father viewed sick people as "worthless" (as a kid you'd probably interpret it that way), then almost any child would begin to fear what would make him worthless in his father's eyes. Also, your father must be a victim of anxiety (even if not a full-blown anxiety disorder) for him to behave this way. The reactions of the brain to anxiety are at least partly hereditary, and so that would be a factor as well.
You may find incredible benefit in talking with your father about his reactions and what it was like for you in childhood. He may react emotionally to such a discussion, which isn't your fault or your resposibility - try not to let that bother you, and just stay in calm communication with him as best you can. If he is motivated, the two of you going to a family counsellor even for a few sessions to talk through your relationship might be of tremendous benefit to you. Anyway, just some food for thought.
Hannah:
You poor thing! What a touching story you tell! I, too, was bullied as a child - terribly. All I can say is you don't deserve it. I guess I can share with you what it's like "on the other side". You're obviously intelligent - I can tell by the way you write. You'll go far in this world -you can really do anything you want to. I look back on those bullies now and at least one of them is in JAIL, the rest are losers of various sorts - working menial jobs or unemployed. None of them even turned out to be jackasses in the corporate world or anything. Whereas I have 3 university degrees, a successful career, a good marriage and 3 wonderful children. My life is filled with joy and wonder and blessings. What goes around comes around - y'know?
It's quite obvious to me that the root of your phobia is this anxiety at school, which you have clearly hooked into the vomiting episodes - even linked them to the bullying. Your traumatic birth could well be a factor also, but I'm sure you realize that many babies swallow poo- it's quite common actually -and they don't have emetophobia. I guess I'd wonder what your family life is like as well - how do your mother and father react to the fact you're bullied? How many sisters and brothers do you have? Stuff like that is important as well. I noticed on your "loss" survey response that all of your grandparents died when you were quite young - I wonder how your parents reacted to those deaths - do you remember? The way they dealt with this anxiety could have had an effect on you so that you developed an anxiety disorder. Sometimes simply talking it over with them, and discussing everyone's feelings in the familywill help your anxiety level in general.
Rest assured that you can overcome this phobia - at the very least you can make a big dent in it just yourself. Just keep reading all the stuff on this site and learning as much as you can. If your parents will pay for a therapist, it would probably really help so long as you like the person a lot.
Good luck!Edited by: sage
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