Hello, I'm sort of new to this forum; I guess I made an account years ago and forgot I had it, hahaha... Goes to show how much I had been improving in terms of my Emetophobia- until now, of course. Hopefully this post doesn't get too long, but I will appreciate anyone who can give me some advice.
So, I live with my boyfriend. He takes antidepressants and recently (for about a month) they have been messing with his digestive system. Because it's caused by his medication (or at least, we think so), I had never worried when he would be feeling "sick" (that's how he describes any degree of n*, so you can imagine the panic I feel every time he says he feels "sick"), bloated, or having bouts of d* now and then. I would still interact with him as normal, kissing him and hugging him and sleeping with him, because obviously side effects of medications aren't contagious. Unless it wasn't his side effects and he had really been sick for a long time... Anyways, that's another story. I digress.
On Thursday evening (3/29) he had been feeling bloated, n*, and generally unwell. I chalked this up to his medication, as usual, even though he had been having d* for the past couple days. He had just eaten dinner and had been eating normally all day and all week, so I didn't think he could have been sick because he obviously wouldn't have been hungry. I hugged him and went to bed, opting to sleep in our other bedroom just in case he was sick (thank God I did). At about 11pm, I woke up to the sound of him v* in his bathroom. I quickly closed my door and proceeded to worry all night that I would get sick. He didn't even close his door until the next morning, so our two cats were going in and out of his room/bathroom and our living area all night, most likely tracking the sv* everywhere. He only v* that one time.
I quickly left for work the next morning (3/30), obviously frantically texting him all day with my usual rules for quarantine and sanitization. He was feeling too weak to clean that day, however, but still kept himself quarantined (other than when he texted me to tell me that he had gotten his blanket out of the dryer since he was freezing cold -- UGH, imagine my frustration hearing that. So obviously I'm terrified to use our dryer at all now that he touched it, even though I sprayed it with Lysol twice). After work I headed straight to my uncle's house to spend the weekend with family for Easter. All weekend I was worrying myself crazy, wondering if I had somehow caught his sv*.
Saturday (3/31) he was still feeling weak, dizzy and achy. I was still at my uncle's house so I was getting periodic updates from him via text. He spent most of the day sleeping, but had told me that he had left his room to get a glass of water and to heat up his soup (so obviously now I'm not going to be using our kitchen or silverware for two weeks).
Sunday (4/1) I left my uncle's house and came back to our place. I cleaned the kitchen, light switches, doorknobs, floor, etc. in our main living area. Obviously I didn't even go anywhere near his room. He was still feeling weak, but better than he had been feeling the previous days. He still hadn't cleaned his bathroom at all. I spent the majority of Sunday out and about in town so I wouldn't feel trapped and anxious in our apartment.
Monday (4/2) I left for work in the morning, and he said that he would clean his area that day, since he was feeling better and much less weak. His appetite had returned, too. He proceeded to lysol spray his entire bathroom, his bedroom, his computer, his light switches and door knobs, his carpet, everything. He changed the sheets on his bed, and (at my instruction of course) put his dirty sheets, clothes and towels into a trash bag. After completing his cleaning, he asked if he could be "released" from his quarantine. I told him he could, since at that point I was already keeping myself locked in my room whenever I was home and intended to do so until he wasn't contagious anymore. Plus, one of our cats had been out and about in our living area the whole time. He made himself dinner and such, touching our silverware and everything (ugh).
Tuesday (4/3) He went back to work. He was feeling back to his normal self again, with the exception of still feeling slightly achy. From this point on he has been out and about in our apartment like normal, sitting on the couch, using the kitchen, cooking food (for himself, obviously), etc.
Today (4/4) He is feeling normal again. We are both starting to get antsy about being with each other again. He has been so understanding and sweet about my Emetophobia, more so than anyone I have ever known. He has been doing (mostly) all that I ask of him in terms of cleaning and quarantine, and wearing disposable gloves to do just about everything while he was sick. While he has been extremely understanding and accommodating, though, I still don't think he truly understands why I still go straight to my room and shut myself in every time I come home from work, why I won't eat any of our food at home, why I have barely been eating and why I'm still so worried of catching his sv*. In his mind, now that he is feeling better, he isn't contagious anymore. I miss being with him so much, but obviously my fear is so much stronger. I hear him through my closed bedroom door making dinner or speaking to our cats and I cry because of how badly I want things to be "back to normal" again.
Next Tuesday (4/10) we are supposed to go to a concert together, and I'm terrified; obviously at that point it will not have reached the "safe point" of two weeks since he has been sick yet. I want to wait at least two weeks to touch things in the kitchen or make food at home again or sit on the couch to make sure the sv*particles around the apartment are well and truly dead. Keeping ALLLLLL of this in mind, my two questions are:
1) Is 2 weeks the absolute longest a sv* can survive on a surface or inside of someone? Or, more specifically, will it be totally safe to interact with him and the apartment normally after 2 weeks?
2) When will it be safe to be with him again? I don't intend on kissing him for a while still, obviously, but the concert coming up is for a band we both love and have been wanting to see for a while. I'm just so torn because my Emetophobia is still so strong right now, and I'm still terrified of getting sick.
Please help me out, I'm still so scared but I miss him so much, too.