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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    11

    Default Emetophobic but want kids

    I've always wanted to be a mother, but I'm emetophobic. I havent thrown up since I was 8 and I'm rarely nauseous, which makes me panic when I do feel sick because I haven't experienced it for so long and don't know what to expect. I have a fear of experiencing morning sickness and I know that most people throw up from pain during labor as well (strangely, I'm more scared of throwing up than the pain).
    I'm not having kids anytime soon, but I don't want this phobia to prevent me from having a family. Does anyone have some experiences to share?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    5,096

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    77% of emets have vomit-free pregnancies. You will too! Let's get started on our babies soon!
    To learn more about emetophobia, see
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    349

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    I was always sort of ambivalent about having kids, but my phobia pushed me over the edge into not doing it. Not because of the pregnancy or delivery (I'm sure I could've willed myself into overcoming any morning sickness and handled the delivery with drugs), but because of the terror of having to deal with sick kids. However, I'm sure I'll regret this decision! It might've been nice to have a kid or two. My husband could've gone either way. He's fine with it. I'll never know how I might've felt had I not had this goddamn debilitating phobia. If you want kids, I say go ahead and do it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    255

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    I don’t know about the 77% statistic...

    I threw up once during my pregnancy and women on this site recently have run the gamut of experiences (from 100% no nausea to vomiting for weeks) and tbh that’s kinda what it’s like when you talk to moms who aren’t emet too. I know I talked to my OB about my fears and took meds when some mothers may not have felt like they wanted to do that.

    Regardless, the experience was a teeeny tiny blip in my life that has brought me the most amazing little girl. I was also afraid for years and years (and I’m still afraid when I think about getting pregnant again) but it was beyond worth the fear and anxiety.
    Honestly, I think if you want kids it’s probably best to just push your fear to the side until it’s actually something you are dealing with. If you aren’t there yet in your life there is little point worrying about wheather or not you’ll get sick! Maybe you will, maybe you won’t but you won’t know for sure. But it’s like that every day really.. we just don’t know. And really, no pregnant lady likes it and you can certainly follow all the wisdom for dealing with nausea from all the mohers who have gone before you when the time comes.
    I would NOT let this fear be the only reason you don’t have children. I promise that the life you build is worth facing the fear and anxiety.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Posts
    2,028

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    If you want children then you should have them. I had two v free pregnancies and two v free labors. Yes my kids got the sv when they were little and yes I caught it a few times but they are adults now and have always been my greatest joy. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat even though the 10 day rotavirus that my son had almost did me in. But guess what- I survived. It sucked at the time but now it’s a distant memory.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    If you are able to have children go for it. I was totally ready to have kids. I went to treatment for emetophobia and did everything I could to get as better as I could in order to be a great mother and not pass this on to my kids. Having kids was my motivation to overcome this phobia. Unfortunately, 3 years of trying to have children and nothing. The infertility anguish caused me anxiety and awoke my emetophobia and hypochondria in a very very bad way. In a way I have not seen before. The doctor said my husband is sterile and well... sometimes I try hard to immerse myself in the emetophobia just so I remove my pain of infertility and stop wanting to be a mother but it is not working. Sometimes I tell myself "ok cool, u won't deal with sick kids, you won't have to worry about morning sickness, etc... enjoy life, it sounds great"! but... then I cry right after because my desire for kids is stronger than my emetophobia. I worked so hard to get rid of it, but my motivation was wrongly placed. I should have done it for my self, not to be a great mother.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    I am a mom of two small girls (3 and 1) and since having them my emet has gotten severely worse. I'm in a constant state of panic. I no longer want to be around my kids. I dream about running away all the time. I am so ashamed of this feeling and regret that I was not more aware of how bad things could get. I'm not trying to scare you. Just that this can be the most difficult part of parenting for some emets. I love my kids and it's my love for them that keeps me here with them. But I'm not sure for how much longer. Sorry for being a downer here.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    England
    Posts
    34

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    I'm the same as you I want kids in future but I'm terrified my emetophobia will ruin it for me

    The way I try and deal with it is I tell myslf that most women don't V* they just have N* which I could probably deal with because I deal with N* every day anyway. I also tell myself that I could try all the different anti-emetics for morning sickness. Then worst case scenario I tell myself that if I V* theres a chance it could actually cure me. Also I think that if I was really desperate then I could just survive off tiny meals until the second trimester. As for that sickness illness that some people get where they have horendous V* for the whole 9 months then I have no way of dealing with that. That would be my worst nightmare.

    As for people V* in labour I'm certain that it is usually due to gas and air. So I won't be having that.

    My friend recently had a baby she had zero morning sickness and had a back to back labour with no pain relief and zero V*

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    I had a baby about 11 years ago. I had a v* free pregnancy, the worst I had was unbelievable heartburn and chicken nuggets tasted like feathers for some reason but that was it. The labor and delivery I did not feel sick through. I did have an epidural but that was because my body wasn't going to be able to handle the pain (that's what the doctor said, I have no idea the truth behind that, I was having no pain before so I don't know). Some hours later, I got to hold my new son and that was that. Kids do get sick and sometimes they get sick a lot, but I don't think that should deter you from having kids if you wish to do so. The positives definitely outweigh the negatives and if it's the morning sickness possibility that is plaguing you, they have medicine for that. There will be discomfort, that I can promise, but it's only for a short while compared to the rest of your life in finally having the family you deserve. Talk with your doctor (if you have one) that is what they are there for. I ask what I deem to be ridiculous questions all of the time to my doctors and while they give me the side-eye sometimes, I can leave there knowing I have as much information that I wanted and it makes it seem better and more adaptable. The choice is truly yours, but don't let something temporary discourage you from what you want. I truly wish you all the best.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Emetophobic but want kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Unsweetened68 View Post
    I've always wanted to be a mother, but I'm emetophobic. I havent thrown up since I was 8 and I'm rarely nauseous, which makes me panic when I do feel sick because I haven't experienced it for so long and don't know what to expect. I have a fear of experiencing morning sickness and I know that most people throw up from pain during labor as well (strangely, I'm more scared of throwing up than the pain).
    I'm not having kids anytime soon, but I don't want this phobia to prevent me from having a family. Does anyone have some experiences to share?

    Don't let this hold you back from having kids if you really want them. I have had this phobia from 4-5 years of age and was always scared of morning sickness but I think we learn to control how we feel to some extent. I had no v* with any of my 3 pregnancies and to curb the N* I would just listen to my body. I'd take morning sickness tablets 2-3 times per day in the 1st trimesters (ginger & B6) eating minties (chewy mints) & frozen drinks (slushies) really helped. I needed an emergency C section for my 1st & an hour or so after delivery I felt I would V* & was given anti emetics. After my discharge I asked the hospital to check my records to see what I'd been given that could have made me feel that way. Turns out the epidural could have as could the morphine. Knowing this I met with the anesthetists before each of the next 2 deliveries & asked to be given a cocktail of anti emetics & no morphine. The following 2 births were trouble free following this plan. Now the having kids part... I recall holding my toddler on my lap & hearing the Dr. say it looks like he's coming down with gastro. As soon as I heard that word I almost blacked out & my hands got all sweaty & I asked Dr. for a prescription of anti emetics for myself as a precautionary measure. Turns out it was easier than I thought to look after my own children but still can't be around to see or hear anyone else. Kids are now 17, 14 & 11 and now look after themselves because they know how I feel although from toddlers they have only each had 1 episode since. I'm sure you will be fine & wish you all the very best

 

 

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