What triggered your emetophobia?

[Ami]

Now I know I have another thread up but i'm curious. Does anyone remember the incident that started their emetophobia, and feel comfortable talking about it? I want to know if it is always triggered by an incident, or if some people just naturally have it.

As a kid I wasn't emetophobic, [I can remember several times getting sick and not being scared beyond the normal levels], but then when I was in kindergarten or first grade[I think the former] I must have eaten something bad in a lunchable [I still avoid them most of the time. I think it was the capri sun, and no longer drink those ever] and felt very n* ALL day. No one believed me and I was not allowed to go home. I just laid in the classroom, trapped and feeling very very s*

The bus ride home was hell, I was certain I was going to v*, even that young. But I didn't want anyone to see it, I didn't want to get in trouble, so I kept fighting it. I'd been fighting it for hours at this point.

I got off the bus at my babysitters, and as soon as I got through the door I v*d I was really really ill and it was very violent and traumatic, with me apologizing and making quite the mess. I was sick several times over the next few hours, and then felt better, but weak. it was very traumatic, my mom wasn't around and at that age that was important. I wasn't at home. And I had to suffer through school. It was just a very negative experience. Even though i've v*d since and when it was over I realized it wasn't so bad, I just can't shake the phobia after that incident.

[mizzy316]

I think I have it naturally- never liked v*, but over the years it's just deteriorated into a full blown fear.

[nhernandez1194]

I have never liked the idea of v*. It was just an innate fear of mine, like being afraid of heights or blinking at loud noises.

On Friday February 11, 2004, I got s* one night after coming back from my grandma's house. I was v* for about an hour. Everything's still so vivid. I was afraid to eat after the experience, I was afraid to move, I was afraid to even sin because I swore my punishment would be more v*.

Seven years later, and I'm starting to relapse.

[freedomfighter]

i havent always been an emetophobe i didnt bat an eyelid and threw up loads as a kid same as everyone else....i guess it is a sort of post traumatic stress phobia. it began between age 6 and 7 i had come back off holiday with my family and my father contracted a virus and ended up in hospital intensive care in a coma on life support..the doctors told my mother to bring me and my sister in to see him in what they thought would be a last goodbye..i think seeing him and being exposed to the intensive care environment at the age of 6 was too much exposure for me to handle at school one day around this time i was coming back in from play time and a boy was standing infront of a teacher he had just vomited on the floor and the teacher was telling him off...i remeber my stomach feeling all warm and weird...from there i obviously associated sickness with something bad and have done anything to avoid it since it also makes me feel really vulnerable...(my dad lived he spent 3 years in hospital brave man im so proud of him love you daddy it wasnt your fault you got sick i was just too young to put it all together!)

[Tina J]

I have had this fear for as long as I can remember. When I was really young, I couldnt even tell my mom I wasnt feeling well because that was like admitting the possibility of vting. And that just couldnt happen. I was really scared and I did everything I could to avoid it then and there. The fear of others being sick didnt start until I was about 7-8 years old I think, but after that it just got worse and worse. I dont think there was a situation that triggered it, and my psychologist couldnt figure out why I got this phobia. Probably a mix of feeling like I cant control myself and the fact that I didnt throw up as much as most kids did, and never got used to the feeling. At least thats was my psychologists theory.

[ihatepuking30]

Hi! Newbie here!

Well, it's weird, because just as you said I remember getting sick when I was little, and I never got scared or anything. It wasn't common for me to get sick, but when I did, it was ok. I think it started when I was about 18 (30 now), after I got a REALLY BAD case of food poisoning. It's odd, because I suffer from IBS and I'm kind of used to getting sick because of it, but God knows I always try my best not to vomit. It scares me to death.

[gmm682]

I've had it ever since I can remember. I have no idea what triggered it. Though, my mother tells me that around the age of 2 I had a seriously terrible case of sv*, along with my brother. I can vaguely remember v*ing at a very young age and remember not liking the feeling, but I couldn't say whether this incident was part of the virus my mother told me about. Most of my memories of others v*ing are in elementary school, all of which I was scared of (I absolutely hated elementary school for obvious reasons). I can even remember having nightmares as a child of v*, and still do have nightmares of it to this day. You know those dreams where something bad is coming after you and the bad thing is going in regular time, but you can't move/move in slow motion? You can imagine how terribly I sleep some nights.

[ccaassiiee]

I have no idea what started mine. I have been terrified as V* as long as i can remember. I cannot recall one time where i V* and it was no big deal.
I have had terrible anxiety all my life as well. I really wish i know what set me off as a kid. I always wish i could just find out and go back in time to fix it, so i could live normally.

[freedomfighter]

you cant go back in time only forward even if you could pin point the exact day it wouldnt change how you feel i know the precise time minute hour day and 17 years later im still the same

[manxgirl]

I think I've always had anxiety surrounding s* but not at the level it is now. I moved to university last september and had quite a traumatic time with not settling, homesickness etc. I'd also had a bad year with lots of anxiety up until this point and university made it worse. I think the phobia really hit around half way through the first university term and it just began to affect me more and more from then on so for me I feel it was mainly triggered by anxiety. Anyone else had any similar experiences/thoughts? I've left university now but the phobia is still very much affecting me.

[musicXfashionXsugar]

It's weird because as a kid, I used to V* a lot and I kinda used to think it was funny. No joke. Like I'd seriously be like 'Ha-ha look I just p*ked! Cool!' Then when I was around 7 or 8 my mom got REALLY sick and had to be hospitalized for 5 days. During this time all she did was V* and it scared me nearly to death. My mom is my best friend and I felt like she was going to die from being so sick. I couldn't sleep, I was afraid to eat, and I couldn't ride rides at the fairgrounds anymore (I still can't). I know it's totally irrational to think that if I V* I'll end up in the hospital, but I think that's what it is. Also, I hate not being in control of what's happening to me and V*ing is something I have no choice in. I can't hold it down, I can't fight it, when it's coming I have no choice. So here I am at 20 with the same fear, but I must say I hate the N* far more than the actual V*ing. After it's over its like a sense of relief for me, until I start worrying that the N* will come back and I'll have to be sick again.

[zipity]

I'm pretty sure it started after the last time I v*. I can remember v* before that and obviously not liking it, but not being AFRAID. We were going on a trip to South Carolina which is a 14 hour or so drive to go to a wedding. My mom said I could take a friend along. The night before we left, I v* and felt like CRAP. My dad went and picked up my friend that night anyway. I told my mom I didn't want to go but my sister was going on a school trip to Mexico at the same time and there was no one else I could stay with. The hotel reservations were made and they didn't want to cancel them. I just remember my parents saying "oh you'll be FINE!" So 10 hours straight in a car feeling n* was HORRIBLE. We stayed overnight in NC and I just remember eating a biscuit from KFC and that made my stomach HURT so bad I was curled up in the fetal position all night. I didn't v* again but I was in so much pain. Then we drove the rest of the way and I remember my mom giving me Imodium and that burnt my stomach for some reason. It was HORRIBLE. We went to the wedding and I thought I felt better to eat but on the way back to the hotel, I almost had d* all over the car. My friend sat there making fun of me, telling me I was "milking it" and it wasn't really as bad as I was making it out to be. And my parents just kept saying "you'll be fine" "you're ok" Pretty much telling me to suck it up. I gradually felt better over the course of a few days but it was BAD. Like I said, I only v* that one time, but I was AFRAID I was going to the whole way there in the car. And that's where my fear comes from. I have a fear of getting s* and having to pull over to v* and I know that trip is why.

[bitsybabe]

Could have been many things. When I was a baby I had continuis projectile v* I was told. I v* when I was five pretty bad and then in 2nd grade on the playground. After that didn't again until I was 20. But all of my childhood my mother was an alcoholic who couldn't hold her liquor. She v* frequently anywhere she was, in the kitchen sink, in the bed, in the car, on me once. One night when I was 15 I went out with my cousin and one of her friends who had her license. The decided to get some beer and drink it. I was spending the night with my cousin that night and I started having my first panic attack thinking they were going to get sick from drinking beer. That was the beginning of my emet life. UGH! When I was 20 I was so n and new I was going to v* so I was just sitting in the bathroom waiting and when it finally came I retched so hard and long before it came up that I couldn't take a breath. I know it was only seconds but felt like forever to me. I started stomping on the floor trying to get my mother to come help me but she didn't. I didn't know you could v* so violentely. It terrified me. So it's been 31 years since then and haven't v since. Been an emet for 36 years.

[chocolategirl]

Mine started in the second grade when a girl v*ed on me. I wasn't scared right away, more just in shock and kind of thinking it was funny like everyone else, but then later on that day i started to worry that the same thing would happen to me and i would be stuck in a classroom with people thinking it was funny and then i went emetophobic. I hate the feeling of being sick now and the fear of being sick.

[emetmom]

Mine first started when I was 5 or 6 and had a bad sv. I was spending the night at a friends' house and all I have are snatches of memories that include having to hold a plastic bag while my folks drove me home, then later, holding it while be driven to the hospital and then sitting on a gurney in the ER of the hospital while a doctor told my parents "there's nothing we can do but wait it out". I also recall sort of sitting on the toilet with my head in my friend's bathtub. They had potpurri in their bathroom, though I didn't know at the time what it was, only knew that I have hated the smell of that particular blend of potpurri for my entire life. I had all but forgotten about that incident until 5 years ago, when my son got his first sv.

Suddenly, I was panicked. I mean full scale, shaking, unable to sleep/eat/function panic. My son was only 18 months old at the time, and I could barely function. And the panic extended beyond the duration of the actual time my son was down - for months afterward I'd panic whenever he showed the slightest sign of something being amiss. I mean right down to - "oh, he left a few bites of food behind on his plate, he must be feeling bad, aaaahh!!" After about 3 months, my husband made me go to a therapist. I knew I'd had more of a fear and dislike of v* than most, but it had never been so paralyzing before.

The therapist wasn't able to help. Neither was the EMDR practitioner, the hypnotist, nor the EFT tapper, all of whom I've been to see in the intervening 5 years, but, seeing each of them did help me dig deeper into my fear, and ferret out its roots. Like someone else posted, my first therapist suggested that the trauma of that one incident, coupled with the fact that unlike many kids, I hardly ever got the sv - so never grew accustomed to the sensation, was part of the problem. She also got me to the memory of the potpurri. Funny enough, it's a linked memory - I had a particular sensation in my throat during the incident and whenever I smell that particular blend of potpurri, that sensation comes back. Even now, that I know exactly what is going on, it still happens.

So that's my trigger story.

[emetmom]

Mine first started when I was 5 or 6 and had a bad sv. I was spending the night at a friends' house and all I have are snatches of memories that include having to hold a plastic bag while my folks drove me home, then later, holding it while be driven to the hospital and then sitting on a gurney in the ER of the hospital while a doctor told my parents "there's nothing we can do but wait it out". I also recall sort of sitting on the toilet with my head in my friend's bathtub. They had potpurri in their bathroom, though I didn't know at the time what it was, only knew that I have hated the smell of that particular blend of potpurri for my entire life. I had all but forgotten about that incident until 5 years ago, when my son got his first sv.

Suddenly, I was panicked. I mean full scale, shaking, unable to sleep/eat/function panic. My son was only 18 months old at the time, and I could barely function. And the panic extended beyond the duration of the actual time my son was down - for months afterward I'd panic whenever he showed the slightest sign of something being amiss. I mean right down to - "oh, he left a few bites of food behind on his plate, he must be feeling bad, aaaahh!!" After about 3 months, my husband made me go to a therapist. I knew I'd had more of a fear and dislike of v* than most, but it had never been so paralyzing before.

The therapist wasn't able to help. Neither was the EMDR practitioner, the hypnotist, nor the EFT tapper, all of whom I've been to see in the intervening 5 years, but, seeing each of them did help me dig deeper into my fear, and ferret out its roots. Like someone else posted, my first therapist suggested that the trauma of that one incident, coupled with the fact that unlike many kids, I hardly ever got the sv - so never grew accustomed to the sensation, was part of the problem. She also got me to the memory of the potpurri. Funny enough, it's a linked memory - I had a particular sensation in my throat during the incident and whenever I smell that particular blend of potpurri, that sensation comes back. Even now, that I know exactly what is going on, it still happens.

So that's my trigger story.

[stefanie]

That's so funny that a therapist said that because you didn't vomit a lot as a kid you therefore can develp emeto. I have the compelete opposit. I v* all the time! I was always getting sick and I to this day can remember each and every time.

for me I think the trigger was when I was three I wanted to have milk with my dinner. Being from an italian family we were not brought up with milk adn meals except for breakfast of course. so we were just allowed to drink water or juice. but some of my playmates had milk with dinner and i wanted to try it. My mom said ok and I drank milk and ate my meal which I remember was meat red meat and potatoes something like that.

I was soooo sick in teh night threw up horribly in my bed and my mom FREAKED OUT! She is an emeto to a degree she doesn't get scared of catching things but she is the worst if she sees or hears someone get sick. I remember her fear, she terrified me by her reaction, seh was practically going nuts calling for my dad just about sick herself from it. I think I from then on associated being sick with terror and fear, and knwonig she was so afraid of it made me afraid.

To this day I can't eat a meal other than breakfast and drink milk lol.

My emeto didn't get worse though until about ten years ago. I caught the sv* and got really sick. I have never been able to make ti the bathroom casue I will just not admit that I have to be sick and I made a mess, my dad cleaned it like he always has and that was that, but I was 14 and have not been sick like that since and I'm 27 now. Slowly over time it has gotten worse and worse the fear cause I think oh I haven't thrown up in a while (like I used to all the time as a kid) so it must be around the corner for me and i'm going to get it at anytime.

It's a horrid thing this fear, as far as other peoples v* I can never remember a time that it didn't bother me even in a small way

[olivianoel09]

Mine started when I was in the 5th grade, so I was only about 10 years old. I'm almost 20 now.

There was one day at recess where 4 or 5 kids v*d on the playground. I always knew having lunch RIGHT BEFORE recess was not a good idea!! I started crying and shaking- I had no idea what was happening to me. Later, I found out I had had a panic attack. When I was crying, the moms who helped at recess sent me to the nurse's office, where all the sick kids were! Not the best idea! My mom had to come get me from school and bring me home for the rest of the day. I was so scared that I was going to catch what they had. Now, I understand that it was because the elementary school didn't serve the best food and the kids had been running around the playground like maniacs.

To this day, I cannot workout or even do any physical activity after eating due to my fear. I am so afraid of catching other people's viruses. When I'm not panicking, I feel totally rational and I know that getting sick isn't really a big deal. But it's like another person just takes over my mind and tells me I have to have a full out panic attack because v* is the worst thing in the world. I honestly have a really great immune system- I can't even remember the last time I had a simple cold. I just don't understand why this thing has to be so scary and affect my life. I'm so frustrated and I just want it to go away.

Do you guys ever just think, "Why me??"

[asianeko]

I can't remember when the emet switch turned on for me. I do know, however, that I had an anaphalactic reaction to peanuts when I was very very young (3 or 4 maybe) and I had to be rushed to the emergency room because I couldn't breathe. Before my throat swelled shut I vomited, but I don't remember being afraid to vomit at that time. I can't remember any specific time after that that it may have started, but I feel that was probably traumatic enough to start a phobia.

[kme]

When I was in first grade, I got v*'d on 3 times! Twice in one day. The first time it was just the once. The second time, it happened twice in one day and I was such a mess and so upset, they had to send me home. I couldn't go to school for a couple days after that. I don't think I ever recovered from that. Since then I am afraid to be sick, to be around anyone who is sick, or even hear about someone being sick. It didn't help that my sister got carsick all the time so I was always traumatized by her getting sick next to me in the car.

[kay730lpz]

For me it all started when I was in third grade. I had 4 incidents that year with vomit. This kid one day told the teacher he didnt feel good and she gave him the trash can and then he kept on sticking his face in the trash can and for some reason i just started panicking and just hearing him would scare me. Second incident was when a boy said he didnt feel good so to avoid seeing it or hearing him i asked to go to the bathroom. I figured that by the time i went back the whole ordeal would have been done but boy was i wrong! i went back to class and went to the sink to get a drink and there was pink vomit all over. I was so disgusted i felt traumatized. the third incident was in the cafeteria and while i was going in line i missed the vomit that was on the floor and stepped in it i felt so paranoid just knowing that i had vomit on my shoes and lets just say i didnt wear those shoes for a very long time! and finally the fourth incident was I was doing a presentation of my project and in the middle of it this kid who was right infront of me threw up all over the desk and the floor and he ran to the sink and to get away from him i hid behind some bookshelves because i was so traumatized i couldnt even finish my presentation. That year was just awful for me and since then i've been terrified of vomit

[emmalinda]

a lot of things happened to me and v* when i was young. but im pretty sure it was the very first time it happened when i was 3. i felt 'srange.' i wanted to tell my mum but she and my dad were arguing and i didnt want to interrupt them. but i felt terrible so i went and saw them ad projectiled everywhere. and all i can remember is my mum shouting and running around he room and her and my dad started yelling at eachother more.i think the worste part was i couldnt understand what was happening. i didnt even know what vomit was and noone explained it to me. afterwards i was still like wtf happened? it was the most horrible feeling ever!

[afraid213]

see, the thing is, a lot of people dont know consciencely why they are afraid of v*. their inner child keeps the secret. what i mean is, you know why you are afraid, you are just not aware...if that makes any sense...

"It is the child that sees the primordial secret in nature and it is the child of ourselves we return to. The child with-in us is simple and daring enough to live the secret."

-Chuang Tsu

okay...so im not pregnant..idk y that is there...

[drizzle418]

I've had emetophobia for as long as I can remember. I don't think it was just one event but rather many traumatic events as a toddler. My sister has asthma and would spend many nights coughing to the point of v*. I would curl up shaking in bed blocking my ears and praying I never heard anything! There was also a horrifying event when I was a toddler and I felt n* at preschool. I tried to tell my teacher but she cutting me off telling me to wait until she was done talking and that I was rudely interupting. I ended up giving up on telling the teacher and then I v* all over the table I was at right in front of everyone. I was so embarassed. When I was elementary school age I definately had emetophobia but it was not as bad as it is now. When I was in second grade I got very sick. I would get horrible stomach pains EVERY night. I lost a ton of weight and missed over a month of school. None of the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me. I was always in the hospital gettting tests done and I HATED it. During all of that I ended up getting the sv and I cried hysterically the whole time I was sick. My mom couldn't figure out why I was crying so hard (I never cry in front of ANYONE). Finally after a year with the mystery stomach problem the doctors found out why I was so sick. I had some strange bacteria growing in my stomach that would make me feel n* constantly. the only problem was that you can only get that bacteria froim having surgery and I never had surgery at that point so the cause of my illness is still a mystery. That whole experience terrified me, I thought I was going to die. Now my phobia has definately gotten worse and I think that is why.

[lfan80]

when i was about 5, a neighbor of mine convinced me that the poison berries that grew on a bush outside were strawberries and ok to eat. so, i ate them. luckily, my babysitter who lived next door happened to witness the whole thing and rushed over to tell my mom i was eating poison berries. my mom called poison control and was told to "get ipecac syrup in your daughter right away. animals have been known to die at the bush eating those berries". so my mom gave me a dose of ipecac. didn't work right away. so she panicked and gave me another dose. within 15 minutes, i couldn't stop v*. i think that's what traumatized me...

[lyra]

I literally woke up one night a few years ago terrified that I was going to v*. Of course, I never did. What's really weird is that I NEVER had any trace of this phobia before, it was something that came out of nowhere suddenly and never left...

[Jessica Riley]

I have nine siblings, yes, nine siblings. I'm the third youngest. My older siblings would have parties, get drunk, etc, and they'd come home and vomit from the alcohol. And my brother was always getting stomach flu's and such from poor hygiene. My other siblings never really did, except my sister has some condition which was always causing her to vomit which scarred me pretty good. Also, my mom is a doctor, and one time she had to go into the hospital to visit a patient and I had to go, I was about five or six. We walked in through the emergency room, and there were I kid you not seven people, vomiting. It was horrifying, I was shaking and crying and my mom didn't understand why since she dealt with that stuff all the time (as a mother and as a doctor,). Ever since, it's been horrible.

Now, there was a time where I was somewhat recovered. Vomit didn't scare me, I held my friends hair up in the toilet. I didn't mind drinking as much because I didn't care whether I vomited or not at that point. I never did, anyway. But then when I got pregnant and I was getting nauseated by everything, it crept back up. Thankfully I never vomited or came close to vomiting during my pregnancy, but the nausea was still pretty bad.

[CherBirdie]

I don't know what triggered mine. I remember being as young as 4 (maybe 3) and I was terrified of going to bed. I would pray to God begging Him not to let me get sick. It passed after awhile, and I didn't get sick again until I was 10. That's when it became a full-blown fear. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older. I'm now nearly 23 and it's the worst it has ever been.

[itbechelsea]

I've always had anxiety, but it was after September 11th that I began having random panic attacks. I was EIGHT. The next winter I had a sv*, and I'm not sure what made it so horrible, but that's when it started. Since then have been terrified of v*.

I was in therapy last summer for generalized anxiety disorder, and it helped a bit with my emetophobia, though we only touched on that during one session. So I am less afraid of v* now, but I still associate it with fear, so even though it's not a big deal, I worry when I might possibly be getting sick.

[scottyd]

I've had emeteophobia for as long as I can remember. I can remember every single time I have v*. An experience which I think added to it was I was about 9 years old and at a friends sleepover and we were all asleep in living room and in middle of night one of my friends v* next to me. I was so shaken up I had to be taken home! I reckon that definitely added to my fear that was already there. It's strange because my sister has the same fear as me (not as severe).