Just started therapy!

[Leopardess]

Hello all!


I'm relatively new here - I made a few posts on the old forums but idled out because I didn't want to think about it...


I'm one of those emets who isn't that bothered about the worry of being sick myself (though it would terrify me if it actually happened for the first time in about ten years), but my problems revolve around seeing or hearing other people be sick. I also have major shame problems around it, so very few people besides my (wonderfully supportive) fiance know about my phobia.


Now, however, my UK NHS waiting list hell just took an exciting turn. I was sent a letter telling me I was still 10 months from the end of the list, but giving me an offer to see a 'member of the community mental health team' sooner instead. Not quite sure what the difference is between that and whatever I was on the list to see, but needless to say I accepted. I met my therapist last week and got on well. (Her phone went off during the session, which always relaxes me! Givesme the chance to be the one nodding and smiling and telling the embarrassed person it's okay!)


So, here I am standing on the bottom rung of graded exposure therapy. I'm familiar with it in theory, thanks to an A-level in psychology, so now I'm trying to work out what the first couple of steps should be.


I've already desensitised myselfto sims in the PC games Zoo Tycoon and Theme Hospital being sick, so that's a good start. Since a large proportion of my avoidance is of films, I need to find two or three films that are really mild to get me going. One I had in mind was Seabiscuit, which I've already seen - boy gets very panicky, then sticks his fingers in his throat. No visual beyond that, and audio limited to gagging noise - no actual retching. Another was Disney's Atlantis: boy on ship looks very ill, then leans off camera to be sick. No visual beyond that, audio very mild and fake, then a joke about carrots.


Can anyone think of films with VERY mild non-visual v* scenes similar to these? If I can desensitise myself to the suggestion of people being sick, that would be another step in the right direction.


If I complete this therapy through to the end, as I intend to, I have an idea of creatinga grand and rated film list for other emets to use in their own therapy - or for those who want to make a start themselves but are on waiting lists or whatever. I'd rateevery v* film I'd seenfor its intensity invisual, audio, suggestion and overall, invite othersto do the same,and thus create a ladder of films to try.


But first I need to get somewhere myself! So, your help is much appreciated in building step 1.


~ Clare

[missgoddess]

errrrm, there is some on friends like wen phobe goes to her partners and eats meat, and one where rachel gets drunk and joeys...also on the wedding singer altho u did hear the deed...i will have another think then get bak 2 u

[x hannah x]

Hi! I'm glad you're therapy went well! ok, some mild v* scenes. Um,
<UL>
<LI>
<DIV align=center>Flipper: You just see Elijah Wood run off screen looking pale and hear one gagging noise, you then see him wash his face.</DIV></LI>
<LI>
<DIV align=center>Lilo and Stitch:A robot v*s bolts</DIV></LI>[/list]
I can't think of any others, check our film list and try the films on the exposure therapy link. I don't know where it is though, somewhere on the treatments thread.

[missgoddess]

grease!!!! wen sandy has her ears pierced at the sleep over!

[Leopardess]

Missgoddess:


Thanks for your suggestions! How intense are these ones you suggested? Do those Friends episodes actually show anything or any graphic sound or just people running off screen or whatever? I'm not yet ready to hear anything more than very mild and very fake vocals, and no v* actually shown at all. Judging by the descriptions of Wedding Singer on the film list, that looks like much more than I can take at the moment. But Grease sounds okay! I might give that one a try - thank you!


Hannah:


I forgot that scene inLilo &amp; Stitch! I've seen that, and I'll have to watch it again for my anxiety diary. That scene with the robotthrowing up boltsdidn't actually upset me at all - I was too busy thinking how cleverly it was done.


I've added Flipper to my list of movies to try; thanks very much for that suggestion!


I've been using the film list for ages to check movies I want to see are safe, but unfortunately the new way of organising it (making you search for a title rather than just have a full list) means that it's much harder to browse through the descriptions looking for films that are very mild. However I looked up the exposure therapy site you mentioned - http://www.achternamen.net/emetofobi...roup/index.htm l? The film suggestions there look quite helpful, and the pictures section is excellent. I've started myself on category 1 there so many many thanks for the pointer!


If anyone can come up with any more non-visual, non-to-mild-audio films for me to try, I'd appreciate as many as I can get.


~ Clare

[x hannah x]

Oh, if you go on the film list and type a random letter, try "h" then you see all the films.

[missgoddess]

dont use the ones of that site!!! they r very graphic like the worst ones!!! weddning singer isnt bad really but leave it a bit...u never see nethin in friends they just run off or the screen goes blank, altho they do talk about the incidents later but in a humorous way

[Leopardess]

AH! Thanks for the hint Hannah! Missgoddess, do you remember those episode titles for Friends? They sound pretty handleable.


~ Clare

[missgoddess]

one is called 'the one that could have beenart 2'when rachel is drunk round at Joeys but i cant find the other one

[sage]

leopardess,


if you send me an email (not a PM) I'll email you a paper I wrote called "Information for Professionals" which is to give your therapist info about emet including how to set up a hierarchy of fears. (It's supposed to go up on this site, but John hasn't got to it just yet)


As far as the films go, the problem I've found with making a "definitive list" is that everyone is a bit different as to what freaks them out. There's a scene in "South Park" movie where the cartoon guy barfs everytime he sees a girl he likes - some people don't mind it cuz there's no sound and it's just a cartoon. The movie "28 days" has sounds/reference but no actual scenes of it. "Monster's Ball" has very graphic sounds at the beginning (and later on a brief scene of it) but if sounds aren't as bad as seeing it, there's one for you. "The Piano" has a scene on the beach where the little girl vomits and the sounds are kinda worse than the sight of it, as I recall. In "Green Mile" there is no vomiting, but sort of ashes come sailing out of peoples' mouths which is interesting. They also describe that a bunch of people are puking, but you don't see it. "Thelma and Louise" has a scene I rated as 3/10 for graphic (same as The Piano)


Anyway, I hope this helps. There's apparently a site that rates all movies that describes the exact content - some people here know it. Good luck with your therapy (my phobia was also only of seeing/hearing others - although in the end it's sort of related cuz I think we panic totally when we are around anyone else because in our subconscious we assume it's us who is sick or fear it will be us. I found when the panic started to dissipate with the treatment, my own feelings of disgust/nausea rose up and then I got really scared. Of course, it's never exactly the same for everyone.)

[missgoddess]

that wud b www.screenit.com


it wudnt use that 4 wot u want as it doesnt describe the actual v* scene it will just say 'john vomits' which is not much good 4 u...its only reallygood if u r planning to watch a film and want to kno if there are ne v* scenes...another quite mild v* scene is in the film haispray...u did get visual but it is just liquid and is not violent or graphic

[Leopardess]

Thank you all deeplyfor your help and suggestions. I'll let you know how it all goes.

[x hannah x]

Sorry for posting now, because I know it's a dead topic but I have to tell you DO NOT WATCH FLIPPER AS A MILD FILM!!!!!!!!!! I had never seen it from the beggining before. It is true that about half way through you see Elijah Wood run out and then a sound but near the beginning it is EXTREMELY GRAPHIC!!!! You see him v* off the side off the boat and then you see it all over his shirt it's absolutely disgusting and really freaked me out. BE CAREFUL!!!!!

[x hannah x]

Skip the first 15 minutes of the film and it's ok. And particularly watch out for the bit where he's on the phone and he says something about having to go because here comes the hippy.

[Eternity]

Harry potter maybe? He kinda gags n brings up slugs at one point, it doesnt look atall like being sick, its nicely gross though.


I cant think what else. Scooby doo? graphic but in cartoon it isnt so bad. Oooh, n theres a lilcartoon of a egg kinda being sickon... sages exposure pics site I think.

[x hannah x]

Ron is actually pretty gross, it's not terrible but it's not mild either.

[Leopardess]

Hello again!


Unfortunately, I'm having to pause myexposure for a little bitbecause I'm staying temporarily with family, who don't know about my phobia, so I need to be careful. But it's probably a good thing because Flipper was on the top of my list of films to try! Thanks for the heads-up, Hannah! Much appreciated!


For the same reason, I won't be posting much at all on the forums for a while. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


Eternity: thanks very much for the suggestions. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]If the scene in Harry Potter 2 is anything like it's described in the book, I wouldn't be ready for it. Just READING that scene made me squirm, and a non-emet friend of mine couldn't watch that scene in the film. But I'll stick it on my heirarchy a little higher up. Same for Scooby.... anything remotely describable as 'graphic' goes a bit higher. Thanks, though!

[kats]

There is also Harry Potter where Harry v**** up the little ball thingy from the game. It has no sound and all you see is this sort of motion that looks like me might be sick and then he opens his mouth and out pops a little gold ball.