Can We Talk About WHY We Are Afraid?

[ChiGal]

What are you really and truly afraid of when it comes to being sick? Since now it is the "bug season" maybe we can all help each other a bit and start the road to recovery.

So, is it the actual act? Is it the loss of control? Is it the anxiety? Is it the fear of being ill in public? What actually is it?

Me, I am personally not afraid of being sick, it's others (my kids to be specific). I feel so sad and hurt for them when they are, and I feel helpless. I take care of them of course...but it is just that feeling of not being in control of something (i.e. a stomach bug) that gets to me. I get scared because of that. I hate it and I know it's a ridiculous fear and I am tired of it getting in the way of life so I am making changes.

Would love to hear others share their real fears as well!

[gumdropper1]

Yes, it is the act. Vomit is a disgusting substance and everyone thinks so. It is horrid to have it come through your mouth involuntarily.

[jkl81]

ChiGal,
For me, it's all of the above.

[ChiGal]

Yes, it is the act. Vomit is a disgusting substance and everyone thinks so. It is horrid to have it come through your mouth involuntarily.

It's not fun by any means and it's not pretty to look at either but it has a purpose ~ to expel toxins in the body.

[ChiGal]

ChiGal,
For me, it's all of the above.

((hugs)) That's that fear talking/whispering to you - in all reality vomiting is not as bad as you think. I can tell you this for sure. I used to be there, now I am on the other end but changing things.

Try pushing some limits, facing those fears a bit each day. Life is scary sometimes, but don't let fear hold you hostage. More ((hugs))

[gumdropper1]

It's not fun by any means and it's not pretty to look at either but it has a purpose ~ to expel toxins in the body.

In reality, that is only true in case of alcohol poisoning. In case of a stomach virus, vomiting doesn't remove any toxin from the body. In the case of food poisoning, according to a doctor I quote in my Vomiting FAQ, the toxin is usually so far along in the intestines by the time it happens that vomiting doesn't remove it from the body.

[Bebopy5]

Everything you listed is me including people I care about, parents, boyfriend, etc. This phobia has brought on a lot of challenges for sure.

[thecheesecake17]

Along with all the above, I personally hate how we associate it with every little thing as its a rare but common occurrence. Especially us women. When I think pregnancy, I think 'doomed. Worst fears confirmed' Instead of 'I'm gonna have a baby!' And in all honesty, my hopes and fears will battle to the death if I ever get pregnant....

I hate how n* is one of those things people can deal with it but other simply can't. I also hate how its so damn easy to get an upset tummy cos we can't avoid eating.

Oh! And!
I hate how my love of food has turned into sincere hate....except for chocolate. But even then, if I feel the slightest bit n,* after choc, I'll throw the damn thing in the bin and waste money...

[Bebopy5]

Along with all the above, I personally hate how we associate it with every little thing as its a rare but common occurrence. Especially us women. When I think pregnancy, I think 'doomed. Worst fears confirmed' Instead of 'I'm gonna have a baby!' And in all honesty, my hopes and fears will battle to the death if I ever get pregnant....

I hate how n* is one of those things people can deal with it but other simply can't. I also hate how its so damn easy to get an upset tummy cos we can't avoid eating.

Oh! And!
I hate how my love of food has turned into sincere hate....except for chocolate. But even then, if I feel the slightest bit n,* after choc, I'll throw the damn thing in the bin and waste money...

This too!! If you would of asked me years ago if I ever would want kids I would say absolutely, but now, I don't know. This fear has truly steered me away from having / wanting kids.

[Afdpt]

I've come to realize that the loss of control is probably my biggest reason for being afraid. I think it's why I've had more success recovering from my fear of myself vomiting while I'm still struggling a bit with my fear of others doing it. Because when it's me I can take some control back. For the most part vomit can be fought off if you try hard enough but I can also make the decision to let t happen and when I do that, it's not as bad. Once I accept it and put myself back in control by allowing myself to be ok with it, the fear is gone. With others, however, they're in control and if they don't want to fight it there's nothing you can do about it.

Fear of public humiliation is the other big one for me. While I consider myself recovered I still do have some discomfort with the thought of being sick in public but I think most people have some degree of that?

[crd08]

Loss of control and also the consequences of it all. Getting sick makes life a littler harder for a brief period of time. I might have to miss work and coworkers will be upset they have to cover for me, I might have to miss class and then I will fall behind and fail.
Also getting sick in public. Someone might see/hear. It's gross and would be humiliating for me.
plus it just sucks

[tiredofitall]

The smell, the taste, the feeling of it coming up, pretty much every thing about it. The loss of control too and the fact that I don't know how long it will go on for. I just hate it all.

[slacksalot]

For me, it's definitely a lack of control. In fact, everyday I always have kind of have a stomach ache and convince myself it's a virus. I think I do this to almost anticipate the virus before it strikes... like I have some control (when in reality I don't, if that makes sense).

[ChiGal]

Along with all the above, I personally hate how we associate it with every little thing as its a rare but common occurrence. Especially us women. When I think pregnancy, I think 'doomed. Worst fears confirmed' Instead of 'I'm gonna have a baby!' And in all honesty, my hopes and fears will battle to the death if I ever get pregnant....

I hate how n* is one of those things people can deal with it but other simply can't. I also hate how its so damn easy to get an upset tummy cos we can't avoid eating.

Oh! And!
I hate how my love of food has turned into sincere hate....except for chocolate. But even then, if I feel the slightest bit n,* after choc, I'll throw the damn thing in the bin and waste money...

As far as the chocolate thing - I agree with you lol! I still can't eat a few certain things as I got sick after that! Oh and drink certain drinks...like Rum (shudder).

And pregnancy? I honestly have to say if you are ready you are ready. If you don't want kids, then you don't. I couldn't imagine my life without mine, even though some days I think parenting is just ridiculous

[ChiGal]

For me, it's definitely a lack of control. In fact, everyday I always have kind of have a stomach ache and convince myself it's a virus. I think I do this to almost anticipate the virus before it strikes... like I have some control (when in reality I don't, if that makes sense).

Makes complete sense - and it doesn't lol. But to an emet mind it does for sure.

Maybe you have a stomach ache because of your anxiety? Have you tried therapy? Or some yoga which teaches you to focus on breathing and just "being"?

[ChiGal]

The smell, the taste, the feeling of it coming up, pretty much every thing about it. The loss of control too and the fact that I don't know how long it will go on for. I just hate it all.

It's not pleasant for sure. It's gross. No one likes it. However the act is over in the blink of an eye. The anticipation, when drawn out purposely, can last hours.

[ChiGal]

In reality, that is only true in case of alcohol poisoning. In case of a stomach virus, vomiting doesn't remove any toxin from the body. In the case of food poisoning, according to a doctor I quote in my Vomiting FAQ, the toxin is usually so far along in the intestines by the time it happens that vomiting doesn't remove it from the body.

Can you point me to that part actually? Because I can't find it. Thanks!!

[gumdropper1]

Can you point me to that part actually? Because I can't find it. Thanks!!

It is below the question: Q. But couldn't suppressing the vomiting center mean than poisons that would otherwise be vomited will instead be absorbed and cause damage?

http://emetophobia.byethost15.com/vomiting.html

[SoVerySorry]

It hurts for me personally. The amount of physical pain I have during the acts really, really is too much lol. The inability to breathe during the act paranoies me, but the pain is much more for myself.

[ChiGal]

It is below the question: Q. But couldn't suppressing the vomiting center mean than poisons that would otherwise be vomited will instead be absorbed and cause damage?

http://emetophobia.byethost15.com/vomiting.html

Oh I see. But that's one doctor. And I am not talking about causing any damage. Honestly you can repress it, and feel ill for much longer...and still stay alive as you say. But you could also just get it over with and feel so much better sooner. That's my question?

[ChiGal]

It hurts for me personally. The amount of physical pain I have during the acts really, really is too much lol. The inability to breathe during the act paranoies me, but the pain is much more for myself.

It is scary and it can hurt. I know that for sure.

[thecheesecake17]

I was thinking, I may know another reason .....
If v* is a rare occurrence for you (like me, although n* is pretty damn common..) I think it's the weirdness of the whole situation....were used to stuff going DOWN our bodies...not up! That's what I try tell myself when I think I'm gonna be sick...if we started v*-ing ALOT, I'm sure it would not feel AS bad cos our brains would remember it... ALOT of girls in my class take birth control pills and talk so lightly of the stomach side effects....one girl did a singing exam(I study music..) And almost threw up in front of the examiners...and afterwards she was like 'yeahh I switched my pill and its messing with me! Haha it was awful'..I was like what the actual! How are you so calm?!

But yeah, also, would it be cos its against gravity? Hmmmm..
Probs not. Just a very grim thing I guess...

[ChiGal]

^^I totally get what you are saying!

And at the height of my own emet (being afraid of it myself) I could never imagine why people were so flippant about it. Now, I'm just like ew...stay away from me so I don't chance getting my kids sick lol.

For me I just couldn't stand the thought of even possibly being ill in front of others, even strangers. The idea was mortifying! I hated feeling that way, why should I care so much about what others think? Yes, it's gross and all, but not life-ending or anything.

I still get twinges of those feelings and I have to mentally yell at myself to stop it.

[Afdpt]

I agree, the fact that it goes against the normal flow of things throughout the body, and is so rare makes it scarier I think. When my phobia was bad I remember having a discussion with my husband about how if I get a stomach bug I would hope it all came out the other end, and I would be ok with dealing with the nausea and discomfort as long as I didn't get sick. My reasoning was that at least BMs are a normal part of life, so even though d* is terrrible at least it follows a normal course that we're used to.

I think that's why, for me, pulling up detailed memories of the last time I was sick and re-living them over and over again was really helpful to recovering from the fear. These memories were so triggering in the beginning (it actually took a while to even be able to pull up the memory because I think I had suppressed it.) However, in time they're no longer triggering at all and I've realized that I would so much rather just vomit when I'm feeling sick (because the nausea is what freaks me out) instead of drawing out the nausea/anticipation any longer than I have to.

[jumperkar1]

I think the worst part for me is the feeling in the stomach where you feel pain and so icky that you feel like having d* or v*. And the fear of the unknown of what V* is like.

[thecheesecake17]

Had an n* scare last night folks(don't even wanna blame it on anything, decided to just let it be so I could practice being calm throughout..) And another thing I noticed(which my bro pointed out when he was talking about when he sick once) was that n* is an illusion which points to v*...The n* itself is PAINLESS, and its more often than not just an irritating hindrance but the aim of it is that the brain wants to 'get something out'... So no matter if we're having morning sickness or are properly food poisoned, a little thing in the brain gets paranoid and says 'something ain't right here!!!'....Also ALOT of it is balance and to do with the ears...my boyfriend told me to go on his Xbox last night so I went on GTA and drove around in the cars and that made me feel worse....I haven't been n* properly in such a long time and I couldn't quite pinpoint what I felt but i was very unsettled in my tummy and its so damn persistent sometimes!! I tried my hardest to convince myself it was a little bit of acid(which it might have been since I feel better now) but it kept being stobourn and I'd say one of the worst parts is whether it's gonna turn into an attack/strong n* or whether we get lucky and it vanishes.... The more I told myself 'calm. Breathe. Swallow' it did subside but it lasted from around 8-9.30.
Its horrible folks there is no easy way out unless our tummies go back into gear and its sad that 99% of the time we are OK, We still dread this

[ChiGal]

^^So sorry you weren't feeling well! ((hugs)) But congrats on staying calm!! That is fantastic and you should be so proud of yourself!!!

To me feeling n* is worse than actually being sick.

Oh and btw - love GTA V!! Great game - maybe not so great when feeling dizzy or ill though for sure!

[mamabear93]

All of the above. I hate everything about it.

[Spik]

all of them aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[anna81]

When I was a child I used to think if you v'ed it meant you would die! My mum died when I was 5 so I don't know if maybe something happened, if maybe she v'ed while she was ill. Obviously I have realised that's not true but the fear has just stuck with me.
Recently I've found that if my daughters are possibly going to v giving them a bucket eases my anxiety slightly, I think the smell and the mess is partly what I'm scared of.