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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    NY, USA
    Posts
    141

    Default I'm at my wit's end

    Hi everyone, I know I'm new here and this is probably the worst first impression ever but here goes.

    I'm new to being emet and it started about a month (maybe two) ago when my sister and I got zinc poisoning. She v and d but I only felt extreme n. Since then it's like a switch went off in my head and it's all I think about. I've slowly stopped eating all together in fear I'll v, I've lived off crackers for a week and sometimes can coax myself into eating something more, I can't even eat homemade things in fear the ingredients are bad or I'll v (and I love eating! Especially my mom's spaghetti.)

    My sleep is suffering because I'm afraid I'll wake up in the middle of the night and v. I'm terrified of being alone for extended time. I can't imagine living my life like this any longer and I obviously don't want to.

    Ironically, can you believe I've only v once (multiple times) in my whole life when I was 6? It was traumatizing and probably what started this and the zinc incident just triggered it. My family doesn't know what to do and are slowly starting becoming annoyed with me, which is making my anxiety worse.

    Now with the news about Norovirus I've become hyper aware of any sign of illness, I wash my hands excessively and use hand sanitizer like it's going out of style, and now I'm anxious I have a bug because I had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound (gallbladder) despite washing my hands twice.

    I'm also worried about dehydration (drinking water as we speak) and just becoming ill from lack of nutrition. I just feel very scared, helpless, and hopeless (and hungry.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    4,871

    Default Re: I'm at my wit's end

    Hello, LMW, and welcome. We all know how you feel. We've all been through it ourselves. Many of us haven't vomited since we were children, and most of us want it to stay that way.

    Since you haven't vomited for 20 years, the chances of it happening now are very small. The chances of it happening without warning in the middle of the night are extremely small.

    Take care of yourself and do what you can to avoid vomiting and especially the dreaded norovirus (which, by the way, you have probably survived without vomiting many times). But taking care of yourself also means eating healthily. Don't give up on your favorite foods because of something that hasn't happened for 20 years and didn't happen to you last month when your sister got it and you didn't. You are strong.

    Doug

    P.S. I know you can't view links at this point, but I think it would be good for you to visit our text games forum and make enough fun posts (just join in the games) until you have 10. Then you can read my Vomiting FAQ and Emetophobia FAQ. The link is in my signature, which you will be able to see when you've made 10 posts.
    To learn more about emetophobia, see
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    NY, USA
    Posts
    141

    Default Re: I'm at my wit's end

    Thank you Doug! Your reply comforts me a lot, although I'm still a bit nervous--especially after suddenly developing a sore throat and headache. I'm hoping it's just a standard cold! If not just from lack of sleep.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,163

    Default Re: I'm at my wit's end

    Hello, welcome! As Doug said, each and every one of us understands how youíre feeling. Weíve all had a scare or traumatizing moment that caused us to google and search for this group/forum. For me, I was 19. I hadnít v in 10 years, and suddenly woke up v one morning. It terrified me. And quite honestly, when I researched, I thought I was alone. Never in a million years did I think 9 years later, that this group would hold me up each time I was struggling.

    And to encourage youó In the 9 years I have been logged in, there are MANY people that have beat this phobia and no longer need to post regularly. I hope to eventually be ďone of those peopleĒ

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    NY, USA
    Posts
    141

    Default Re: I'm at my wit's end

    Thank you! It really helps a lot just to know that I'm not alone in this. Today was actually a pretty good day for me (at least compared to the last few weeks) and I felt a bit fearless in my attempts to eat foods I've been avoiding. I still panicked afterwards but it wasn't nearly as bad as I have been. It's a great comfort to know that people have beat this phobia (and have survived v*ing and always report that it wasn't as bad as they thought--it really must all be the anxiety!) and I hope that one day we all can be like that.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    481

    Default Re: I'm at my wit's end

    Welcome! Iíve always been afraid of V* since I was about 6 as well, but I didnít start actually panicking and becoming a really bad emet until I was about 18/19. It triggered me after one of my friends got a SV and I was convinced that I would get it. I was constantly N* and would have an upset stomach and I was terrified of eating anything. I lost a lot of weight and was just feeling my absolute WORST! Eventually, I got tired of having anxiety all the time and decided to be out on medicine for it. Iíve been on lexapro for 4 years and it has been a complete lifestyle change for me! I do occasionally have mild panic attacks, but that is very rare. And Iím also no longer afraid to eat. Just talk with your doctor about this if youíre feeling that bad. Donít be ashamed of feeling this way at all!! Hope you get better and we are always here for support!

 

 

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