I recently came to a revelation with my mother and a therapist. Though it may not help me to get better, it is a relief to finally know what may have caused me all my psychological issues. I have panic disorder, emetophobia, anxiety, and OCD. While I have these things relatively under control now, theyve always been present since I was very young. But we had no idea what caused it, and my parents never knew enough that something was WRONG, so I didnt know there was a problem until I sought counseling myself as a teenager. Anyway a therapist I saw recently mentioned something called PANDAS, and it struck a bell in my head. I had also recently read a news article about strep throat being connected to OCD in kids. When I was 5, I got a particularly bad case of strep and it was right on christmas so my parents couldnt take me in for medical care. I felt really BLAH and yucky xmas eve, then the next morning I V* a little tiny bit but then felt better. I was able to get to the doctor after that but, thats about the age when mom started noticing my OCD stuff although she thought it was just a 'phase' when I blinked my eyes in sequence, touched walls a number of times, touched my face, all that stuff. Apparently this PANDAS thing happens when a kid gets strep really bad they can develop OCD. It just sounds a lot like my situation and it was amazing. Thought Id share the info. http://intramural.nimh.nih.gov/pdn/faqs.htm in case anyone else is familiar with it or maybe it did the same thing to everyone else. I do know that at the time when I V* I wasnt scared. But from then after I was upset quite a bit if I did have to V*. Shortly after this, my 'best friend' was in town and I was warned that she was V* the other day, but I said I DONT CARE! I want her to come stay over! not knowing any better, and then when she left I was sicker than sick and very upset over it. So I think those two events combined may have caused me to be the mental wreck I am today when it comes to V* and contamination. Thoughts?