Until yesterday, I had no idea that the word Emetophobia existed. As soon as i saw it, my life changed. There was a name to something i had my whole life. Im 19 years old and I remember feeling like this since before pre-school. The earliest memory i have is having a dream about my uncle throwing-up on me. Thats when my fear started. It never even really happened, it was just a dream, and ever since then, I have been terrified of other people throwing up. When i was younger and someone threw up, i would usually wet myself and then take off running/crying. I guess you can say I have improved a little bit by growing out the wet phase but i still burst into tears and have a sudden urge to run as far away as possible. elementary school was living hell for me since kids throw up all the time. Middle school and High school were no better. I avoided every party at all costs making up every excuse i could think of so i didnt have to explain what i was so afraid of. no one ever understood anyway. ive missed out on a lot of things due to me thinking everyone was out to barf on me. I avoid amusement parks at all costs and rush through the rides and games at the fair so i can get away from the spinning rides and food. not a good combo. one time, my brother had the stomache flu and my mom decided that i was ok enough to handle him so her and my stepdad both left to get food. i was horrified of the thought of being alone with a vomiting child so i panicked and called my grampa next door. by the time he managed to wander his way over my brother had barfed on himself and was in the bathroom naked while i cleaned him and the room up much to my dismay. i was probably traumatized for a good week after that incident and made my mom swear that she would never do that to me again. the only party i ever went to my whole life, i stayed for a grand total of 45 minutes until everything around me started to get smaller and i began obsessing that someone was bound to throw up on me. whenver i go out with my friends and they drink, i make them swear that they wont get sick or i probably would stop being friends with them. thankfully my boyfriend isnt a barfer and totally understands how much it freaks me out. if he does get sick he spends it downstairs so i dont have to hear him being sick. thats been my whole life. avoiding things i really want to do, making excuses for everything, and panicing whenever im forced into a situation where someone might be sick. up until yesterday i thought i was stuck in that pattern for then rest of my life. im so happy that there are more people out there like me and that im not the only one who feels like this. thanks for helping me realize im not the only one out there
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