...for the first time since childhood.

I've had emetophobia since before I could walk but have been doing the whole "staying outside for the night no matter the weather or risk of abduction" thing since about age 9. Last night my mom showed all the signs of having a stomach virus or food poisoning: stomach cramps, severe diarrhea, went to bed early & was acting generally shady (she knows not to tell me she's sick or I'll run outside, lol). Despite this, I managed to stay IN my room which is only across the hall from hers. For the first time since childhood. I'm in my mid-30s now so that's quite a while of running. I wore my noise-cancelling headphones & kept the TV up in case there were any scary sounds, but she ended up not v'ing at all. Didn't find that out until this morning tho.

I attribute this to my amazing therapist who I see weekly. We're doing CBT & (gradual, patient-led) exposure therapy which I NEVER thought I'd submit myself to. I have tons of anxiety disorders including OCD but emetophobia is my core mental illness--the first & worst. I've had counseling but never even disclosed this phobia because I was so scared they'd put me in therapy for it which would involve more triggering & fear. But it's not like that at all. And I pay nothing for the sessions since it's at a state-funded clinic. So grateful for them.

Just wanted to share in case anyone is considering therapy but postponing it for whatever reason. Finding the right therapist is SO worth it & doesn't have to be expensive.