emet is ruining my life

[kellym78]

Sorry that my first post is such a downer. I am a 27 yo mother of three
boys - 6, 3, and 1. I have had emet as long as I can remember . The
last time is v*ed was from drinking too much in 1997. Before that, it
was 1 time in 1987. I had kids because I thought that they would be
like me and never throw up. Well, the first sv* hit our home last year
when I was 38 weeks pg with my third. I swear I have PTSD from that.
From that moment, if I could have wished myself un-pregnant, I would
have, I started having severe depression and panic attacks from then.
As a teenager, I suffered from severe anxiety, panic and agoraphobia
related to emet. I was on antiemetics all the time - up to 100 mg of
Vistaril four times a day. I thought that I was ok until that happened
last year. I have endured an eight year relationship with an abusive
drug addicted husband because I am too afraid to be alone with the kids
at night. I am a health/organic foods/vitamin supplements addict and I
have nutritional regimens for myself and my kids. I can't be without
twenty different remedies for nausea and a stockpile of ginger beer. I
am too afraid to wean my three yo and one yo (he's still little)
because I don't want them to get sick.

Either way, last weekend my youngest started throwing up and had a high
fever and had to be admitted to the hospital. I was in there with all
of these other people who were coughing and puking and I had a complete
breakdown. In the middle of my panic attack, all I could think about
was killing myself. It makes me feel like the worst parent ever, but
sometimes I feel like it would be better if we all died. I love my kids
and I would have 10... if they never threw up. I really would rather
die than live with this for the next 18 years.

I'm really sorry to dump all of this on you people that i don't even
know, but I feel like driving my car into a bridge abutment. Any
advice?

Thanks,

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Edited by: kellym78

[aguerra29]

Wow. I think it is safe to say that we can all understand what you are going through. Emet has its ebs and flows and it seems like you are in a bad part right now. I was like you in that I justed wanted the craziness to stop. I sought therpay and got on anti-depressants. The anti-depressants did not cure me of emet, but it really toned it down to a manageable level. It sounds like you have alot more going on in your life besides emet. It seems like in times of high stress - emet gets worse - at least for me.

Just know that we are all here to listen if you need it. And I know some people on here don't agree with it, but we can offer assurances when the panic sets it. It's only a temporary fix, but it gets you through the panic.

You have made it this far - I cannot imagine having sick children - you should be quite proud of yourself!

[laneyb]

Just remember that everyone on here is there for you in times of need.


Im sure you are a fab mom and your kids love you lots. I dont have kids partly due to my fears but admire anyone who does have kids and gets through the times when they are ill. I find it hard enough to cope when my family/friends are ill.


I have moments of total despairand contemplate not being around anymore, I wonder what it would be like not to have this fear, then I remember that people love me becuase of who I am and that kinda gets me through the day (its not that many people know of my fear, as Ive only told my hubby and Im now 38!!)


We are all thinking of you!!


Laney [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[liz001]

Aguerra29, you summed it up quite nicely! I've only been here a few days and it makes me feel better to know that I have people to talk to. I don't have any kids, but I can imagine it takes a lot of courage to take care of them when they are sick. I also agree that it seems like you have a lot more things going on besides emet. Try to work on one thing at a time. Find the things that are stressing you out and work on them. I think we all tend to stress out easily and that leads to panic attaks and then feeling sick and like other people have said, its a horrible cycle. I honestly did not think I would ever find a way to beat this until I found this site. I know it will be hard and take a lot of work on my part, but I do think it can be done now. Just keep talkin to us Kelly! Try to smile, it's almost summer!