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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    New-Brunswick, Canada
    Posts
    4

    Red face Getting back in control of my phobia )*-

    This is gonna be a long one, folks..You've been warned lol

    So..I have had this God awful phobia since the age of 9, and I am now 33 years old. The last time I ever had a belly bug was when I was 12 years old, so I forget what it even feels like to be sick. For the most part, I have been able to live a pretty normal life even having this phobia. But...Back in 2017, for one reason or another, this dreaded phobia took hold of me. I remember noticing it getting worse when I'd be hungover that year, and normally hangovers never really bothered me all that much. I started college in 2017, and let me tell ya...This phobia KICKED. MY. ASS. The fear of vomiting was consistently in the back of my mind. ANY time my stomach felt off in any way, shape or form...EVEN if it was hunger pains...My brain would automatically panic. I could go from 0 to 100 on the panic scale within seconds. As many of you emets know..Stomach discomfort causes anxiety...and anxiety causes more discomfort and nausea...and then the more nauseous you feel, the more panicked you get. Aren't emetophobia triggered panic attacks great?! ANYWAY. I was getting several panic attacks weekly, and they would last from anywhere between and hour to four hours. I got to a point where I was afraid to eat when I was in college for fear it wouldn't sit well with me, thus spiraling me into emet panic. I didn't like being in the classroom or closed spaces because I felt I had nowhere to escape. I felt nauseous almost all of the time because the worry was constant, even when it made absolutely no sense for it to be. I couldn't eat in restaurants anymore because I had emet panic attacks too many times while out to eat, to the point I began associating restaurants with feeling ill. Thus, avoidance. I HATED riding in cares because of the claustrophobic feeling and worrying the minute the car started rolling about whether I might start to feel sick and what I would do if I did because I would be trapped. The same thing happened with certain places but WORSE of all....The phobia became attached to my girlfriend. Yup, you read right. I started getting emet panic attacks when I was at her apartment, and they were BAD. Therefore, I began associating her apartment, AND her...with emet panic attacks and feeling awful. As a result, I barely saw my own partner. She knows about this phobia and I am insanely self aware of it and have explained myself in great detail. She fully supported me through the worst of it and I'll never be able to repay her for standing by me. Anyway...I barely spent time with my partner because of this shitty phobia. If I was at her house and started to panic, I'd have to leave RIGHT AWAY to my safe zone...which was my bedroom. The only place I felt safe and like I could come down from my freakouts. She would sadly drive me home when she saw me panicking, and I'd be freaking out in my head while in the car, almost holding my breath until I got home. Thinking back on how bad it got, I still can't quite believe it. Emetophobia made me its bitch, and things got so bad that I was actually flirting with the idea of suicide. I sat down one night and spoke very openly and honestly with my partner about it...telling her that if this thing got any worse, and didn't let go of me in the near future..I wasn't sure if I could continue living like that. It took two damn years for me to get it back under control. I tried getting help, but most doctors and therapists in my region didn't even know what the hell emetophobia is. My family doctor had never even heard of it. It was insanely discouraging. I went to try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and the therapist I had just....was NOT in it with me and we did not click whatsoever. So I dropped it and felt super hopeless. I still don't know exactly how I managed to get out of that vicious cycle, but I'll tell you that it took a LOT of mental discipline...Mindfulness...Rationale..Self talk...Awareness...the works. With time, I was able to grab the reigns of this bastard of a phobia. Though the fear is still alive and well inside me...It's barely there nowadays and I only have minor hiccups here and there. And when they happen, it's almost automatic for my brain to counteract irrational vomiting thoughts with logic. I couldn't be more grateful. I plan on working harder to rid myself of this completely, because I KNOW it's possible for me and it can be possible for you guys too. I plan on buying the Cure Your Emetophobia and Thrive self help book soon (CRAZY success testimonials) and hopefully eventually registering here with Anna for help. I believe I can fully beat this thing, even if it may be incredibly challenging

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,649

    Default Re: Getting back in control of my phobia )*-

    Congratulations on your huge improvements! Thank you for sharing, your story is inspiring. These past two years Iíve been in a better place with emet (not necessarily good, but better, as in I can easily go a week without a panic attack where before I barely could). Your girlfriend is such a great person, we need more of her in the world.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts
    4,529

    Default Re: Getting back in control of my phobia )*-

    That's great, Mogo. You've done well.
    I'd advise that you save the $30 for that Thrive book. Most of the testimonials are probably fake. The author only has a high school education, but he was an internet marketer. He knows what sells books.
    I've reviewed it in more detail on my site here: https://emetophobiahelp.org/reviews/ I review the $3000 program first, then the book.
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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