Pregnant Please Help

**sphynx** · 02-09-2006, 09:51 PM

I have had this phobia my whole life. Following a course of anti depressants I felt strong enough to concieve, but now I don't know if i will cope with morning s*. It is getting to the point where I am thinking about abortion although I am against it (for me) and I am only 4 weeks pregnant any help appreciated.

**suze** · 02-09-2006, 10:06 PM

Sphynx, welcome to the site and congratulations on the pregnancy. If you check back over the last few months, there are plenty of threads about pregnancy, morning sickness etc., which should reassure you.

I've had two kids and although I felt queasy (all the way through with my second), I never v*d, nor came close to it. In fact, you'll find that most emet mums don't actually v*, although mild nausea is not unusual. The weird thing is that nausea in pregnancy is not like nausea from being ill - I don't know why, I guess it's because you know what's causing it. The key is to eat little and often - it's amazing that you can feel quite sicky but have a couple of bites of a biscuit and it goes. This would not work if you were ill. I used to have a packet of bisciuts by the bed and have one before i got up in the morning. Ginger or peppermint tea is also very good to sip.

Try and relax if you can and get as much rest as possible, this will help. If you do get any nausea (and remember nausea does not mean v*) the chances are that it will only be for 3-4 weeks, once you get to 12 weeks you'll start to blossom.

You have the most wonderful times ahead of you. I commented on a similar thread recently and said there that I would rather v* daily than be without my kids. And I mean that! Eight months from now you'll know exactly what I mean.

Go for it, and good luck!

**sillygirl** · 02-09-2006, 10:23 PM

Welcome to the site and congratulations! I was where you are very recently. I am currently almost 18 weeks pregnant. I thought I was strong enough to handle morning sickness, but as soon as I got the positive test, the feeling of dread came over me. I didn't think of abortion, though, because I knew I wanted this baby more than anything. The first thing I did was tell my doctor about my emet. She immediately understood and told me that if I had any problems with morning sickness to let her know and she would prescribe me medication to help. Luckily, I never needed it. There were times I felt n*, but never bad enough to v*.One thing that helps it tonever let your stomach get empty. I know that's hard for many emets, but you have to eat constantly, even when you don't feel hungry. It really will help. Some natural remedies are vitamin B6 (you can take the capsules), ginger (either the capsules or in the form of ginger snaps, ginger ale, etc.) and peppermint. I always found sucking on peppermints when I was n* really helped. You can also take Unisom, the sleeping aid, but there are two differnt types and only one of them is safe for pregnancy so I would have to check which one is recommended

It wouldn't have mattered how sick I got, there is no way I could have had an abortion. I am so excited for July to come and to finally be able to meet my little baby! I am just starting to feel it move and it is such an incredible feeling knowing that you are creating a little life. I refuse to let emet control everything in my life now. I know I would regret not having kids if I let it stop me. I hope you are able to make the right decison for you, whatever that may be. Remember though that morning sickness does not affect everyone, and for those it does, it can be treated. Another piece of advice is not to search around the internet for info on morning sickness. You are only going to find the negative information that will only make you feel worse. People usually onlywrite the bad experiences and not the good. Try and relax about it. Themore you stress, the worse you will feel. Good luck and congratulations again!Edited by: sillygirl

**donna1216** · 02-09-2006, 10:55 PM

Hi there, welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy. I have 3 kids and here is what has helped me all three times: Don't let your stomach get empty--if you feel the slightest twinge of hunger--EAT--not eating will make you feel soooo sick, I agree--ginger tea or ginger root tablets (I have afriend who is pregnant and is a chronic puker and the ginger root is helping her tremendously!!) also, try buying Sea Bands (wrist bands from the pharmacy--they are common) I wore them day and night w/ my last pregnancy, just to avoid any nausea, and they worked, also try Preggie Pops lollipops, they are for morning sickness!!

**madisonsmom** · 02-09-2006, 11:01 PM

Welcome!

I am 19 weeks pregnant and have not v* at all. I have felt queasy but I take something for that and it helps. Please dont let this phobia ruin this for you. It is definitely not worth abortion.

**sphynx** · 02-10-2006, 06:28 PM

Thanks everyone. I am going to try so hard to be brave and no let this phobia run my whole life. I went and got some sea legs bands today and some B6. I am going to hold onto the hope that I won't v*.It is so encouraging and reassuring to know there are other emet Mums out there who manage. Congratulations silly girl and madisons mum on your pregnancies, if youcan do it so can I!

**raindrop** · 02-10-2006, 08:05 PM

Good luck with the pregnancy.

I'm sure you'll be fine. There are LOTS of emet mums.

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**andee** · 02-10-2006, 08:50 PM

Hi,
You sound just like I did. My first pregnancy, I got off Zoloft cuz I didn't want any drugs. BIG mistake. My phobia and depression took over and I too considered ending the pregnancy cuz I was so scared. I got sick a few times but it was because I didn't eat. What everyone says is so right. You will feel a whole lot worse if you don't eat. For my 2nd pregnancy, I stayed on meds (celexa) and felt very n* at night. I took phenergan and that helped. And I realized I needed to eat. Milk also helped me too. Hang in there, it will get better and it is worth it. Just take extra care of yourself!!! Keep in touch.

**happyteacher** · 02-10-2006, 11:24 PM

sphynx,

I am hoping to be in your shoes in a couple of weeks. I am now playing the waiting game we all play each month when we are trying to conceive (11 days to go!). This is my fourth try, so I hope I am successful.

With a little luck, maybe we can do this together.

Stay strong for your baby, IKNOW you can do it! Think of the wonderful, precious miracle that you will receive. In this case, the end definitely justifies the means!

happyteacher

**nikki.l** · 02-11-2006, 12:57 AM

Congrats on your pregnancy!

Ironically, my emet was in "remission" as I like to call it when I found out I was pregnant two years ago. I had very mild n* on only a few occasions, and like a previous post suggested, it is not the same as in a sv. There are no stomach cramps or pains or body aches or chills. I agree with the poster before me who said emets rarely get morning sickness. A lot of it is psychological and cultural. Try to remember and tell yourselfthat you are not ill, so you will not be sick.

Since an empty stomach can trigger morning sickness, maybe keep a snack on your nightstand like crackers or something else mild, and eat it first thing in the morning before rising and also if you wake in the middle of the night. Colas are also good for settling the stomach.

My mom loves to harass me with stories of how she v* everyday until the day she gave birth to me. If that were me who were pregnant, I tell her, I would have terminated for sure! I find itpeculiar being an emet that my mother's pregnancy with me was pure v* hell. sorry to get off on a tangent...

Nikki

**sillygirl** · 02-11-2006, 01:08 AM

happyteacher - I just wanted to say good luck! I hope this is the month for you! I was worried that it would take me a while because I had been on birth control for about 7 years straight before we started trying. I was off the pill for about 3 months, with really irregular periods, when my husband and I decided to actually "try" the next month - and it worked! I guess I am a fertile myrtle!

**madisonsmom** · 02-11-2006, 01:14 AM

Happyteacher, that 2WW isawful. I wish you lots of luck.

[img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]Sphynx. You can do it. If you get nauseous, tell your doctor! I am sure they will be more than happy to help you!

**happyteacher** · 02-11-2006, 01:54 AM

Sillygirl,

You are definitely a lucky one! I was on the pill for 12 years and off it for 4 months when we decided to start trying. No luck so far. I have been charting my temperatures and using an OPK up until the start of this month. For the first couple of months, the OPK wasn't that accurate. I would get a blaring positive result and then I wouldn't ovulate until serveral days later. Mycycles are pretty long - about 35 days give or take.2 months ago I even went 45 days! This month, however, I am using a fertility monitor and charting my temperature. For the first time I have a textbook perfect temperature chart and we nailed the timimg right on (let me tell you, dh and I are exhausted - every other day for a while, then 5 days in a row!). I got a positive on my monitor and just like it was supposed to, my temperature soared through the roof 2 days later! I really hope that it works out, because if it doesn't, when I think something might be wrong.

Thanks madisonsmom and sillygirl! I'll be sure to keep you posted.

happyteacher

**sillygirl** · 02-11-2006, 06:19 AM

happyteacher - that sounds good! I never tracked my temperature, although I did use an OPK. It gave me a positive around the time I expected it to, but now that you say that, I wonder when I actually ovulated? Maybe that's why my baby is measuring a few days smaller than I thought. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

That is so exciting! Keep us posted! Being a first time mom myself, it is so great to get advice from other pregnant women and women who have already done all of this - especially women that understand our fear. Some people on pregnancy forum boards I have read actually sound excited to get morning sickness! They say it is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, but I think you can have a healthy pregnancy without all that yuck!

I'm going off on a tangent here again. I hope it all works for you this month! They say the average for a healthy couple is 6-12 months, so don't get too discouraged if it doesn't work this month (but I think it will!).

**sphynx** · 02-11-2006, 11:34 AM

Hello happyteacher, thank you for your words of support, I hope this is your month, it would be so good to have another emet Mom at about he samestage as me to bolster each other up! Sounds like you hit the mark thismonth (lol hope not tmi). I used opk sticks and then stopped using them the month we got pregnant! It took us four monhs after coming off thepill.

Good luck with your pregnancy sillygirl and madisonsmum. I hope I can cope as well as you have! And you Nikki. It has really helped knowing I can get through this if I try.

Looking forward to seing you post that BFP happyteacher!

Peggy xx

**happyteacher** · 02-11-2006, 03:12 PM

Thanks sphynx and sillygirl!

**kellybean** · 02-11-2006, 06:27 PM

Congrats to all of you!! My DH and I are trying now to. I'm really scared of everything, but this is what we want. If other emets can do this, than so can I. I know I will really need you guys if and when it does happen though!!

Kelly

**kellym78** · 02-12-2006, 09:08 PM

I have three kids and I never v*ed, although I did have some nausea with each of them. Good luck!

eta: My problem now is dealing with them being sick!





Edited by: kellym78

**pumpkin3800** · 02-21-2006, 05:12 AM

WOW! All of you women are extraordinary women. I really commend you all for being so brave. I'm an emet and well, the thought of having children scares the living lights out of me just thinking of morning sickness. I just had a slight panic attach cuz I overindulged on chocolate and felt like v* so I panicked thinking it would happen. After being reminded of how I act ( like a 4 yr. old scared of v*), I tell myself there is no way I could ever be pregnant. Sometimes I think that I have convinced myself fully to not want children and have come to seeing all the negative aspects of it such as them being sick, taking care of them when sick, going to parent conf. at school cuz they got in trouble, etc. so that I could clearly decide not to have any. Somehow I believe deep in my heart I want to have at least one child from my husband whom I love sooooo much. We've been married 1 1/2 years. Look at me, as I write this, my eyes are welling up and I'm tearing up. I must want a child but it is so much better for me to deny it and say that children are a burden and that living a life of only two people has so many perks when in fact, I may also want to be a mom. What do I do? I often worry that as I turned 31 yrs. that I'm running out of time. I hear my biological clock ticking harder as each day passes by. I feel that 35 years is around the corner and I don't want to be that old to deal with such little children. I'm already a teacher and I try to get my satisfaction through my own students. I enjoy their company and make it enough for me. I love the silence at home and the freedom. I'm so confused. I really don't know if I REALLY want children or if I don't wan't children because of my phobia. How can I tell? You experienced courageous women tell me. I hope someone out there understands me. I'm just now starting therapy and gonna consider gradual exposure therapy but it really scares the H** out of me just to think about it. I feel like such a wimp. I feel like my phobia must be worst than anyone in here. I bet I'm the only one who panics like a child when terribly n*. Any hope for me?

Pumpkin

**crystalmom** · 02-21-2006, 06:10 AM

First...sphynx...congrats on your pregnancy. I went through EXCATLY what you are now when I was pregnant with my son. (He'll be 5 on March 25). I thought abortion too...you don't feel preggers at first. You don't have a belly, all you got is sore boobs, heightened smell, and for some, morning sickness. I wasn't as lucky as sillygirl and madisonsmom, I DID have m/s. I was put on an anti-emetic at 8 weeks, and it helped alot. Make sure you tell your dr about your emet. It is worth it, believe me, I want to do it again! [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

Purpleteacher....good luck, I am sending you baby dust right now. It sounds good, I did the same with my son, charting temps, checking cervical mucous (sorry [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]), and BAM preggers!!!!! Has your temp been up more than 10 days??? If so, you, my emet friend, are pregnant. Once you ovulate, (temp rise), it will only stay up 10 days. If you are not preggers, it will drop, and you'll get your period. If it stays up, it will continue to be up for a while, b/c you are PREGGERS!!!!! Good luck hun!

Crystal

**crystalmom** · 02-21-2006, 06:15 AM

Pumpkin...you have all the hope in the world!! Talk to your dr, and your husband, get prepared, and I have all the faith in the world you could have that baby. If you choose not to have one, that's ok too. There is no rule saying you HAVE to. But, listen to your heart, if it is something you truely want, then go for it.

Pregnancy scared the hell out of me too. Somehow I made it through, and so have many others, and you can too.

Oh, and n* makes you "childish"? If I even feel lightheaded I panic like a little kid. I freak out! You are not alone!

Crystal

**pumpkin3800** · 02-21-2006, 05:54 PM

Thanks Crystal for the encouragement. I just feel like I'm the exception--you know I'm the one that is too weak to get through a pregnancy and the other emets probably weren't as bad as I. This is how I think at least. I could be wrong. I panic too if I slightly feel the onset of a stomach pain and automatically relate it to 'what if the food I just ate didn't settle well, and I'll get nausea and have v*?' I totally panic if I feel light-headed like after a blood sample at the doctor's office. I panic over the awful feeling of losing my hearing, blacking out, you know. I'm just really bad. I pace, am jittery, can be still, have to move around and about, sit here and then there, and then stand up, begin to wash dishes maybe, but then move to reading and then try changing the tv channels, and then going to the comp--anything to distract myself. I see myself looking like I need help which I'm currently beginning to receive. I don't see how emet mom get through their kids being sick and then they panic that they too will get sick. I couldn't go through that. I don't know; I'm just very panicky now due to high levels of stress here at work.

thanks for your words, Crystal

**crystalmom** · 02-21-2006, 06:24 PM

Pumpkin....you are welcome for the words, but they weren't just words. I was once completely housebound, didn't eat or sleep, and everything my body did was cause for panic. It can (and will) get better. I am an emet mom. It is very hard when my son gets sick, but I do what needs to be done, and make sure he's ok, and then panic when I can [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]. You learn to cope with a childs illness b/c the thought of your child in distress takes over the fear of v*. Once it calms down, and you have time to think about it, well, then maybe panic sets in.

But, do you want to go to the end of your life and say "I wish I had had kids"? They don't get sick with a sv as much as you may think. My son has had ONE *knock on wood* in all his 5 years! The good outweighs the bad by a trillion!

Good luck with your treatment and I truely send you strength in getting this thing licked, to the best possible outcome for you!!!

Crystal

**pumpkin3800** · 02-21-2006, 06:52 PM

Thank you a million times. I really admire all of you emet moms. The emet moms I think are the best and bravest moms alive. Anyone can be a mom including myself if I wasn't an emet. Being an emet and a mom is truely the greatest achievement. I know some women could argue well, try having m/s for the whole 9 months and I survived it. And my response would be, " Yes, you did, but you endured it well because you don't have a phobia that drives you nuts and makes you panic forevery littlesymptom you relate to v*and it ruins your plans, your activities and relationships. On the other hand, an emet goes through all this the constant worry, fear of v*, fear of the fear of v*, 'what if' thoughts, there is so much involved that an emet undergoes. I'm sure there are other complicated situations that moms have had to endure it i'm sure it wasn't easy so I don't mention them because I don't have the name of their situationso Ican give credit to them as well. I'm just comparing you all to the moms that are fortunate and don't have a problem with v* so they accept it well as part of pregnancy. They were successful without obstacles. If we weren't emet., we too could be just as successful w/o all the worrying, pacing, anxiety and panic that took place. And that's why I think you emet moms are the best. You deserve a Pulitzer Prize.

No hard feelings here. I just wish I could be like the other moms that don't have a problem with n* or v*.

Pumpkin

**madisonsmom** · 02-21-2006, 07:26 PM

I charted temps and cm. Happyteacher - do you know when you ovulate?

**gubba** · 02-21-2006, 10:30 PM

Pumpkin...Crystalmom is right..I have been an EMET my whole life and I have a wonderful 4 year old son who does V*, a lot and he coughs and V*'s and he chokes and V*'s and he does get SV's and V*'s. I take care of him and panic after each episode is over. I do not let him ever know that I panic and I do not ever tell him how scary V* is. It is truly no different then pooping if you really consider it and it is another bodily function that happens for a reason. That said, I freak out just knowing someone near me has V*'d or could V*. I am so fearful of it, but I would not trade my son for anything and I would V* daily if that is what it took to get him here and have him. I was very N* while pregnant and I was given drugs for it, but I never took a single one. I had them in my purse always and kept them close, but never used them. There is no mom on here that would tell you that they wished they had never had their kids and while I think that at times I am too immature to handle him especially when he is sick, I think about life without him and I want to cry. My husband and I are blessed with this wonderful gift and I cannot tell you how great it is to be a parent!!

**happyteacher** · 02-21-2006, 11:01 PM

Well ladies,

Another cycle bites the dust! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] My temperatures began to drop AGAIN at 12dpo and I started bleeding this morning. This was my 4th try and I don't know what else to do. I chart my bbt, check cm and use a fertility monitor and it's still not happening. I am really frustrated. I am tired of this hope and disappointment every month. I'm beginning to think that something is wrong. I even stay still after the deed with pillows under my hips! Pathetic, I know.

Thank you all for your concern and kind words. I am about ready to crawl into a hole today. I really needed this month to be "the month" for a number of reasons, including my decision to change the school I teach at for next September. I can only try 3 more times before I have to stop for 5 months (my best friend is getting married in May 2007 and I don't want to be too close to my due date in case something happens or a month post partum as it makes buying a dress very difficult). I'm also not getting any younger as I will be 30 this fall.

I have the worst luck with everything I do. If something would happen to me just once that was "normal", I swear I would freak out!

Sorry about the rant![img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

happyteacher

**sillygirl** · 02-22-2006, 12:31 AM

happyteacher,

I am so sorry. I have really been hoping this would be the month for you! I'm sure if feels like it isn't happening and you have been trying forever, but really 4 months is pretty fast for most women. Hang in there! And try not to try so hard! I know that is REALLY hard, but it seems like it never happens when it's all you think about. Have you mentioned it to your doctor? I was off the pill for 3 or 4 months before we started trying, and about that time I had my annual exam. When I mentioned to my doctor that we were starting to try, she said that because my periods were irregular since getting off the pill I might have to take some kind of medication to make sure I am ovulating. Turns out I didn't need it, but maybe you should mention your difficulty to your doctor and see if they can suggest anything? Again, hang in there and I am thinking of you and sending you lots of baby dust!

**sphynx** · 02-23-2006, 12:29 PM

Hello everyone, I just wanted to say that I am coping so far...just! I am 6+1 today and so far have been taking the good advice and eating when I feel empty, that seems to be working. It doesn't help the panic attacks though which have been really really bad and left me a pacing gibbering wreak most nights. I am going to the doctor next week (earliest thay could get me in) to see if there is anything that can be done. I can't wait until the first 12 weeks are over. This is clearly he hardest part for any emet mum to be. To Pumpkin I would say that I thought the same thing that I must be a worse sufferer of emrt than anyone else. The reason I was able to get pg was some good therapy and self help group along with anti d's which took away my panic so I didn't feel n* constantly. Unfortunatly now I have come off the anti d's all my symptoms have come flooding back along with panic over m/s. I just have to hope all those emet mums are right and it will be worth it in the end. I am sorry it wasn't your month happyteacher. It will happen! Thanks to all for good avice and stories, every little helps. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

**madisonsmom** · 02-24-2006, 03:52 PM

Just stay positive. You will be just fine...

I am glad everything is going smoothly for you so far[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

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