sweet 16’s

[abercrombie501]

i have been invited to 3 sweet 16s which i refuse to go to i dont want to go
to them because i know the kids in my school drink and then vomit all over
the place i want to share the experience with my friends but i know if i go i
will be extremly uncomfortable

[gumdropper1]

I think you should go. It would be a good way to confront your emetophobia. You should not fear catching anything because you know the cause of vomiting is drunkenness. Doug

[wing]

Sweet 16s, I've never been to one nor had one. My sweet 16 was spent with my three onlyfriends (which is now reduced to one..but anyway...) we played batminton, made computer graphics of ourselves, using a camera and photoshop illustrator, and drew pictures lol...geez, what kind of party was that? lol.


Hmm...but isn't 16 a little too young to be drinking? I may be naive on this subject. I dont have many friends and the ones I do don't have birthday parties. If it's the emet preventing you from going, maybe you should go and despite the uncomforableness you may have fun! =D

[abercrombie501]

the whole thing with my problem is different than some of you i dont fear
vomiting myself i fear others vomiting and i dont know why but thats just
the way it is i get very uncomfotable with others vomiting my father has not
been very supporitive either he told me that im immature by having this fear
but i cant help it i know that nothing will happen to me when others vomit it
just happens that i start shaking and i panic when others vomit. as a little
kid i sepcifically remember hiding in a corner whenever anyone in my house
vomited and yes 16 is young to be drinking half of my friends and most
others dont relize this thats why they vomit they arent responsible enough
to drink.

[emetojackie]

the whole thing with my problem is different than some of you i dont fear
vomiting myself i fear others vomiting and i dont know why but thats just
the way it is i get very uncomfotable with others vomiting....

I'm exactly the same, I fear others V*ing an not so much myself.. if you don't feel like your up to these parties then don't go.. I never go to parties anymore which really gets to me as I do love them! But do go if you think it'd do you some good.. but you CAN always decline, I know how awful they can be, I ended up getting a cab home at 2am as someone was V*ing from over-doing it.. its that horrible trapped feeling! Maybe arrange to go for a few hours and say you have family to see or something the next day? Then atleast you have made an appearance..

[abercrombie501]

its really tough bein as im only 15 i recently relized having this problem is
getting harder then ever being afraid of others vomiting has now made me
be afraid of drunks all together when my brother drinks i hate being around
him he is 25 years old and never vomits anymore from alchohol but i still
get really afraid and today at school i was in the nurse a girl came in saying
she was naseous i almost flipped sometimes its just been really hard having
this i dont know why i have this and i dont want this to ruin my life ive had
this ever since i was little my family knows but i dont think they understand

[crimgoddess]

I'm like you as well- my main fear is others vomitting, no matter what the reason. But, the good news is- when my friends and I started drinking at parties (I won't go into details but it was certainly younger than 15), I realized than when someone did vomit, I wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable and had to leave the area. There was always one or two other people who really couldn't stand to see/hear/smell it, and we either went outside, took a walk, or headed out somewhere. LOL- even some of the biggest guys you will ever meet cant stand to be around vomit, so I can't say I was ever really in a situation where I didnt have an 'out'. I would also make sure that at least one of the friends you would be going with knows about your phobia, and would be willing to take a walk with you, or see you home if a situation got out of hand. Also- carry cab money at all times- it can really help you out in a pinch if needed.


Are these parties to be held at someone's house? If so, chances are THEY won't want people puking everywhere, and will make the effort to get them to a bathroom or outside.


I honestly wouldn't miss out on these parties- it's cliche, but you're only a teenager once and you dont want to end up in your twenties or beyond cursing the fact that you missed out. That, of course, doesn't mean you have to get sloppy drunk, or watch others drink to the point of being sick- just go and enjoy being with your friends- you are always free to leave the situation if it gets out of hand.


*amber*

[stella9]

Excuse me, but am I missing something? Drinking alcohol at Sweet Sixteen celebrations? That is wrong and more importantly, it's illegal. Where on earth are the parents? I would worry less about the emet and about teenagers driking and worse yet, driving.


Stella

[emetojackie]

It's sad but true, people do drink at such a young age and theres so little that can be done about it. So many kids drink to the point that they get sick and just find it amusing. I personally couldn't hate them more! I remember a 14th birthday party where a friend was throwing up from being too drunk. There is just not enough action to stop it.


I avoid these parties at all cost, unless I really feel I will be missing out. As crimgoddess said, take some cab money if you can as it is a nice security blanket as it were, and you really not alone as I have been to parties and other people have needed to get away from the V* - they may not be scared in the same extent we are but they still want to get away from it! I wouldn't drink if you were to go though (sounds like you wont anyway) as a full blown panic attack when completely out of it is horrible!


I really don't like alcohol and drunks, but I love pubs which is really strange as I only drink coke.. but I leave them in the evening as then thats when the drunks start filtering in! I don't mind the occasional drink to relax and have a giggle (and the only real times I drink are on my birthday and christmas eve.. if that..).


But *DO* try go, if the party doesn't start unitil say 8ish then why not go until 10? I always think 10 is a good time as thats when people start to be REALLY drunk, it shows you have made an appearance and you can always say that you need to be up early the next day, or that was the only time you could get a cab/lift etc etc.. I use that all the time! Although I spend most my night looking at my watch, I do end up having an OK night and I feel better after making an appearance!

[happyteacher]

abercrombie,





I too am just like you! I worry about other 100 times more than myself. What I suggest is that you go to these parties and if something happens that makes you uncomfortable, leave. Be prepared and have a ride arranged or have money for a taxi.


It is important for you to go so you can share the experience with your friends and so that you don't add going to parties as something else that you choose to avoid.





happyteacher

[tabycat]

This is why I'm glad that my friends don't drink. It's not that
we're all crazy uberchristian/religious people, not that there's
anything wrong with that) but we just choose not to drink, which is
really nice when you have a phobia of other people vomiting. Yeah
If they are your close friends I would go, if not I wouldn't worry
about it, hang out with someone else. None of my good friends had
sweet 16 parties like this but there were people who did at my school,
usually I would go for a few minutes, say hi to whoever's bday it was
and then leave and hang out with my other friends

[hayleyw]

i know exactly what you mean!!! all my friends are turning 16/17 (im 16) and having these big parties. Some of them i absolutly refuse to go to (usually the ones who drink alot) and then, others, i simply leave early enough, before anything can happen!


try not to worry!


-hayley XOXO

[abercrombie501]

thanks for all the help now i have another prob my boyfriend is going hes
giving me a hard time about not going he doesnt know the real reason why i
dont want to go i dont know what to tell him he will drink but i know he
wont vomit im comfortable with him and all but i dont think im ready to tell
him just yet he likes to hang with his buddies so i dont want to be hanging
on him the whole night and my other friends will deff be drunk they also
think im like all goody two shoes because i tell them not to drink alot they
dont know that idc what they do i just dont want them to vomit!!

[wing]

Hm...I'm rethinking this...maybe you shouldn't go...now its not because of the v* but an issue of safety. Are there going to be adults? Drinking...at 16 doesn't really sound...uh..good..nor legal. *notes that you live in the U.S. ^^* I'm not saying that you can't go or whatnot..but just to think of the safety issues surrounding this...you did say you are 15 right? At 15 I dont think I would'vegone to a party like that...but I shouldn't say anything =X Maybe I dont know anything lol ^^;;; I dont know of any parties where kids drink at 16 that's why, but if you do go, be careful!! That's all this big ramble thing was about. =]


You should tell your boyfriend. It would make things a whole lot easier. Good luck!

[tabycat]

yeah I duno avoiding parties liek this is generally good! Bad thigns happen at such parties

[abercrombie501]

well its not that people will be drinking at the the party they just arrive there
drunk and there will be parents there but no one is actully drinking at the
party the get drunk before they go. yea i am 15 and i dont drink im sure
therer will be people there who arent drunk but a lot of them will be.

[stella9]

I still stand firm on the drinking at 15 thing. I am glad wing spoke the words of reason. I am disappointed that everyone else is dealing with the emet piece of it only. It is illegal for 15/16/17 years olds to drink, no matter where they do it. As a private investigator, I have seen too much of what happens when kids drink. I can also tell you that in the States, the parents are also held accountable and can be charged with a felony offense if there are minors in their presence who are drunk and they (the parents) know the kids have been drinking.


Lastly, teenagers are no experienced drivers. They often make bad decisions under the best of circumstances. Throw alcohol into the mix and you've got a bad thing going on. Any teenager who drinks and drives and gets caught, in my view, should be prosectuted to the fullest extent of the law. This is not fun and games. Its about lives - period.


No, you should not go. These parties are dissasters just waiting to happen.


Stella

[crimgoddess]

Yes, it is illegal for teens to drink- and yes, drinking and driving is deplorable no matter what the age of the driver. BUT- from firsthand experience, those kids that wait until they are legal (here it is 18/19 depending on what side of the border you're on) aren't that much better off. After being a frosh guide twice (once as the president of our student association), you could definitely pick out the kids who were drinking for the first time, and overdid it. I think everyone really needs that experience of drinking too much (within reason of course) and seeing what happens- for me it happened extremely early (I wont even tell you the age so as to not strike fear in the parents of pre-teens), and after that I learned pretty damned quick why it wasn't cool to drink to excess.


I also believe it's cultural- my dad's mother is from Italy and father is from Hungary- they were both raised in a culture where you drink wine with every meal, and celebrations are punctuated with heavily flowing alcohol. He was raised in this environment- and growing up I was as well. Alcohol was never really taboo, and by the time I was 15 or 16 it was perfectly acceptable for me to grab a beer and sit outside with my dad while he barbequed.


I think part of the problem is that parents focus too much on NOT drinking, when it is honestly almost an inevitability that they will be put in a position where alcohol will be freely available. My parents preferred to go the route of having the talk about drinking responsibly- never getting into a car with someone who was drinking, if I am somewhere and need a ride I could call them no questions asked. That, and if someone drank too much and was in trouble (or was scared to go home) I could bring them to my place. Some may think that they were facilitating my behaviour or condoning it- but honestly them coming down hard on me when I was going through my rebellious phase would have only made me drink more out of spite. By them not making a massive deal of it I really didn't feel much of a need to act out that way.


*amber*

[emetojackie]

It is definatly something people need to go through, drinking too much that is. But I do think it has turned into a sort of fashion. Its terrible when I walk home seeing these 14 year old kiddies drunk on cider, thowing up everywhere (scaring the living daylights out of me!) also I can't tolerate anyone that drinks and drives, that is just stupid and asking for trouble.


If your boyfriend is pressuring you into doing something you don't want to then is he right for you? Who cares if your classed as a goodie goodie, you'll be thankful in the long run. I wouldn't go, you'll feel so much better not going and you'll just end up having a horrible time. Make up excuses, your mom won't let you go, you have family over to visit, your mom/dad/sister/brother isn't well and you have to stay at home, your not well! If you really don't think you can deal with it then I think that'd be the best route. These parties are stupid anyway, what will you be missing out on apart from a bunch of drunk teens? *whoop whoop* I'm sure you can think of better things to do with your evening!

Yes, it is illegal for teens to drink- and yes, drinking and driving is deplorable no matter what the age of the driver. BUT- from firsthand experience, those kids that wait until they are legal (here it is 18/19 depending on what side of the border you're on) aren't that much better off......


....I think everyone really needs that experience of drinking too much (within reason of course) and seeing what happens- for me it happened extremely early (I wont even tell you the age so as to not strike fear in the parents of pre-teens), and after that I learned pretty damned quick why it wasn't cool to drink to excess.


I think part of the problem is that parents focus too much on NOT drinking, when it is honestly almost an inevitability that they will be put in a position where alcohol will be freely available. ....but honestly them coming down hard on me when I was going through my rebellious phase would have only made me drink more out of spite.

I can't agree more on what amber wrote! *above*

[naturaldisaster]

I think you should most definately go, even though now the topic has moved on to safety etc,. Being seventeen myself I know that realistically a lot of people drink at a young age and even though there are dangers, they are often exagerated and as long as you are with close friends who will keep an eye out for one another there is little to worry about. Do your freinds know about your emet? All mine do and it makes things so much easier. One of my friends was actaully going to get sick while haveing a conversation with me and we were laughing etc,. so she actaully pretended to trip to face away from me, vomited alittle and then continued laughing just so it wouldn't ruin my night... I didn't find this out until a year or so later. Of course its debatable if whether or not its a help in a long run that they help me avoid it but at least it gets me out and I have gotten much more used to vomiting since I begun partying and you probably would too. And of course if your really uncomfortable you can always make up some excuse to leave.

[stella9]

As a private investigator, I get crime blotters weekly for our city. I also get photos. Week after week, there are photos of dead or severly injured kids. I never drank in high school. I was very popular, went to tons of parties and never had a drink. My parents did not drink and my father was in show business where liquor was all over the place. He never had so much as sip. Drinking does not equal fun. In fact, more than most of the time it ends in sick, accident, poor judgment in other venues.


As for parents. As a parent, I can never condone drinking. Yes, children can stay at my house instead of driving BUT they will never be allowed to drink in my house. PERIOD. I am an adult and I can risk losing my house, my job and my children by allowing minors to drink. Thats not my rule. Its the law.


Naturaldisaster, you are wrong about exaggerated dangers. You have no basisbacking up that statement other than your opinion. Your opinion is wrong. The facts are correct. A car is a weapon when anyone gets behind it under the influence of any substance whether it is alcohol or drugs. Another drunk teenager is not a credible source to depend upon.


Stella

[tabycat]

I definitely agree that underage drinking is horrible, I think that
getting drunk in general is horrible but those are my personal
beliefs. And I can't really stop others from doing it just tell
them what I believe and I dont think that abercrombie501 telling her
friends that she has a problem with it is going to stop them from doing
it. especially not on such short notice. And also are you
sure that if someone gets drunk and then comes over to someone elses
house that is of age that the person of gae can be charged? I
mean I guess you could be sure. I mean what if your kid comes
home drunk and you punish them and you do what you can to stop
it. that's not relaly being neglegent and that's really all you
can do. The same thing with kids coming drunk to your child's
party all you can do is call their parents and make them come get their
kids. I mean honestly can you be charged if those are the
circumstances?

[stella9]

Tabycat,


The laws in Maryland and Virginia are very clear. Drunk kids at a party or at another person's house - the cops come - the parents in charge are arrested. There is a case pending in Virginia right now of a very prominate family. The teenager had a party, the kids were drinking (unbeknownst to the parents), the parents were upstairs with occasional spot checks, the cops came and the parents were arrested. There are something like 17 charges against the parents.


Yes, if I found kids drunk at my house the parents, babysitters, nannies, whatever would be called immediately.


Stella

[blondie90]

i had a sweet 16 and went to about 12 of them (you'll get really tired of them, trust me) and kids did attempt to drink, but they never got away with it. i think that parents keep a close eye on kids during sweet 16's just to be safe. also, if they're at a catering hall or restaurant, it's really difficult to drink because there are so many adults around. i think you should go, don't let your fear ruin your night! they're fun[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[abercrombie501]

see the thing is you guys dont know me i dont want to be conceited but i
want you to get the most of my situation im a very popular cheerleader
and my boyfriend is quarter back of the football team no one expects me
to be like this person who hate vomit and wont drink and is afraid of
people who drink i live in long island new york parents are off at work or
at partys themselves they dont really pay much attention to their kids
they expect them to behave this is why they drink and their parents are
clueless theres a whole lot about there kids that they have no clue about
these are my friends i might as well just go and i know alot of u are
talking about kids driving here you have to be 18 for a license or drive w/
your parents so most kids wont be drinking and driving i know how to
keep myslef safe and im very aware of my surrondings im thinking i may
just go to the partys so i dont miss out please let me know yyour opinion
its nice to know i can talk to you guys <sorry for the long post>

>Kay

[emetojackie]

I think the best thing to do is go for a few hours, you have then shown up for a little bit and make up some excuse like you have got a headache, family visiting etc etc..


always works a treat for me!

[redapple]

I think i understand your situation. I think that you should go to these parties for a little bit *if</span> it's because you want to go</span> and you will feel badly if your emet makes you miss out</span>*.
However, I *do not think you should go to them if you're only going
because you're popular and it goes with your image* if you're just
going to be uncomfortable and worried and not have a good time.
It's totally up to you and



I don't think either decision is wrong, as long as you're making it for
yourself and not just going against what makes you comfortable in order
to please other people.</font>

[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[wing]

I'm sorry for bringing that up abercrombie501. I was just concerned. I can't stop you and I'll support you if you go, but I hope nothing bad happens. That's all. I hope you don't hold it against me...^^; I'm a worrier and my parents drilled a lot of things into my head from small, and I'm just too cautious sometimes. I'd never go to such a party, but we're different and we lead a different lives, so if you think that's best, I can't say anything. I can give advice but I can't do anything to stop you. I hope you have fun if you choose to go. ^_^


Long Island? I'm from the boroughs...^^;; I thought that the driving age for the state is 17? o_o;; Did I miss something or is that only for the city because at 16 we can get our permits..? ._.;


Stella, I may be 16 with no career yet lol, but I agree with you. It is illegal here in NY as well. Edited by: wing

[blondie90]

abercrombie, where on long island? i'm in harbor greens in massapequa





and i understand exactly where you're coming from. i've felt compelled to go places and do things just because of my high school 'reputation'. i was kickline captain for two years and there were parties every weekend that i dreaded going to because i knew people would drink too much and get sick. i really think you should go to the parties. atleast go to the first one and then you'll feel better about going to the other ones too!