Phobias and friends

[12fish]

Hi, I've been lurking here for a while but I've only recently plucked up the courage to post. After some interesting reaction's from my own friend's I was wundering how other people's friend's have reacted to your phobia's- I specify friend's because they're different to family member's or love interest's because you -can- not tell them and they hopfully they won't find out, but you don't get the same relationship (well I've never felt as close to love interests/ family members as I do to my 'friend's') as with family member's or partner's... I rambled there- sorry -_-'


Any way- how have your friend's reacted, have you even told them, or can you not even make friends because this nasty phobia causes you to retreat into yourself?


-12fish...

[mitch04133]

I have never told any of my friends. I told my boyfriend about 2 weeks into us seeing each other and its been 10 months that we've been together, and he really tries and helps me. As far as my family, they know I am scared to v*, but they don't know the extent of my phobia.


By the way, welcome to the site! It is a great place.

[wing]

Hello! Welcome! =] Hmm..I've told about 5 of my friends. Four of them were close friends and another was suffering from her own problems...lets see..the first friend I told, she was in disbelief and I dont think she believed me at first. Weconstantly had talks about it afterwards. She let me have my own way (when we cooked xD) butyou could tell she didn't truely understand. She has this belief that"If I can do it, you cantoo" So frustrating sometimes. Oh well, my other friend, I really can't remember her reaction becauseI told her about itnot longafter she had woken up in the morning lol. The other two, they werejust close friends I guess but whatever.They nodded and yes, not too much comments, but I told them I'd run far far away if confronted.

[crimgoddess]

Most of my friends know- some even joke about it, which I don't mind because there is a certain amount of humor involved with fearing a normal bodily process. Most just kind of shrugged and went "okay, anyway....what do you want to do tonight?". No one really reacted badly, or made much of a deal about it.


As for my boyfriend- again, another non-issue. He doesn't understand it (since he is a nurse and pretty much sees it every shift at work), but he doesn't push me to do anything I'm not comfortable with.


*amber*

[angel13]

I have told one of my friends, and seriously, I wish I hadn't! We were out one night and I was having the worst panic attack, so I just sat her down and told her. I feel so weak, because although I'm a very sociable person, I keep details of my own life to myself, and telling someone my biggest fear and secret all in one go...I dunno, now I feel awkward around her! I feel like she is always dying to ask me more about it (whenever there's someone v*ing ina movie or something, she gets all edgy around me, and I hate that!Something I've always been touchy about is people treating me like I'm 'delicate' or something!). And what's worse is that sometimes she WILL ask me! Just out of the blue - "How's your phobia?" >__< Its lovely that she cares, but its something I like to forget about...not be reminded of everytime we're out having fun and being normal.


That's just me though, I bet loads of people here have more understanding friends!


Sorry about the ranting! Welcome to the forums, 12fish, make yourself at home!^_^

[sneezymonkey]

Hmm, my partner knows about my emet & doesn't really understand much. He just tells me not to be so silly [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


My mum has sort of known i've always had 'issues' with v*,n* & illness but doesn't seem to help much. She just tells me to get some tablets for it!


My best friend knows about it too & is very good about it. The 1st time she saw me freak out because of it, she had started to choke on a piece of cake & it made her v* in my room. She couldn't help it & couldn't get to a toilet quick enough but I jumped across a table & into the other roombecauseI couldn't deal with it! My mum had to help her get cleaned up & I feel such a bitch because of it.. butI remember going out clubbing on her 21stb/day & sharing a taxi home. I was sober as a judge as I don't drink alcohol but she was very drunk. I sat in the front seat of the taxi & she was in the back.. the journey home was 15 miles & I saw her get greener as the journey went on.. she had her eyes closed & was breathing very deep. We reached my house & I said my goodbyes & as the taxi was driving away to take her home I saw the taxi open its door for her to v* !! Bless her heart, she'd held it for 15 miles just so I didn't have to hear or see it! She told me the morning after it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.. holding it in, but did it for me I will always love her a lot for that!


Another close friend I have is also good about it, she tells me to go see a doctor& get it sorted but is very sympathetic & doesn't mention too much when her kids get ill..

[hayleyw]

i've only told about 4 of my friends. the first one, Kira, is my best friend and she is pretty good about it she doesnt really understand the extent of my phobia, or what happens to make me have a panic attack, but i know that she'll be there for me if i need her


the second friend i told was one my best friends too, Heather. It turns out, Heather suffers from this phobia, too, and actually introduced me to this site, which im greatful for!


the other people i have told have usually been like "woah! really?" and thats about it...unfortunatly tho, they dont really understand much about it and have no problems talking to me about v*ing...which, of course, freaks me out a lot.


anyway, thats about it! i havent worked up enough courage to tell my family yet, but to some extent, they know that i have a problem with v* and n*


good luck to all of you!


-hayley XOXO

[liz28]

my roommates know about it.
they all take echinacea now just for me, and my sort of peace of mind.

my parents know about it. and they just try
to reassure me a lot whenever i feel like ive been exposed and start spazzing.

my boyfriend definitely knows and he is understanding to an extent but lately he is just getting REALLY annoyed with it. especially when i dont want to kiss him sometimes. i told him come april things will be better.. so he is looking forward to that! haha.

[emetojackie]

A few of my friends just found out about it through reaction. I was quite young at the time so I don't think many understood and a lot made fun of me, but as I said.. I must have been about 9?


3 of my close friends know know, and they are good about it. I'm not a big one on sharing my phobia with other peole but I needed to tell someone about it, just for a bit of support through a bad time. Two of my friends are really understanding about it (only told them very recently though) and my other friend who has known for a while is good about it, but he's one of these people who can't see the world through the eyes of anyone else but himself so he's very much "well you can't keep hiding from it, it can't be THAT bad, why is it so scary anyway?" etc etc. Which I *can* understand but sometimes its just not what you want to hear..


Take care [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[lucinda]

Welcome! Hope you will find some comfort here!


I've had emet since I can remember so almost all of my family knows about my phobia, not all of them understand or know the extent of it.


I tell all my friends, alot don't understand but since my emet is so severe I end up telling everyone that will be close to me as a precaution. Basically warn them of my fear and tell them if they are ill stomach wise or even feel a little ill to stay very far from me. (that sounds so mean...)


I've had around 15 or so boyfriends and I always tell them early off about my phobia, it defiantly has ruined and/or negativly impacted many relationships. But I'm trying not to give up hope. I have two other emet friends that have successful relationships.Edited by: lucinda

[12fish]

wow, great responce's! It seem's everyone has had mixed reaction's from their friend's...


Thank's for all the welcome's etc, I really appreciate it. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[tabycat]

well I tell just about anyone I feel the need to, which recently has
been a lot of people, but that's because I must explain why I've been
seeing a counselor. Most people are supportive and a lot just
kind of are like oh ok, how are you doing. Some want to know more
about it, I just tend to be really open about it and that makes it
easier for me! A LOT EASIER! Some people don't understand
but there will always be those people. One person I thought would
understand made fun of me for it.



the only experience I've had with people really making fun of me about
it and it really bothering me was on a choir trip in 10th grade.
I always sat towards the front of the bus on such trips and we were
driving from Alabama to Chicago. There was a girl who started v*
and d*, and they sat her right in front of me and I'm crying and asking
all these questions and eventually I had to explain that it was a
phobia I had and ended up moving seats with one of my other friends who
was being understanding, but the PARENTS were making fun of me.
They were laughing at me about it. and that's just not right you
don't laugh at people's phobias especially if they're children and you
are an adult. You don't tell them just to get over it. When
people my age say stuff like that I just blow it off because they are
inexperienced but when 40 and 50 yr olds do it I get pissed!
Sorry for my rant there

[silver]

I have talked to two friends about it...My best friend understand now because she has known me for so 12 years, but at first she would kind of make fun of me about it and make me feel stupid for it..Now she understands that it is something that I have a hard time with and I was even able to share with her my little victory from last week about watching the kid v* in front of me and not getting upset/anxious. She said that she was proud of me and knew that it was a big step for me.


The other friend that I had told kind of laughed at first but then told me about three big fears that she has...the seemed ridiculous to me, but, that's just it about this, to us a fear of heights might now seem like a big deal, but to that person its very difficult to face....Its hard to understand a phobia if you don't have it.

[violet]

Welcome 12fish

The only person that knows is my partner thats it cant seem to let anyone else know, to scared il be judged by this as well it isnt exactly something alot of people understand.

xVx

[s_snow]

I didnt tell anyone except my mother about phobia.


My father, grandmother, grandfather, aunt know that i am scared of V, but not that i amemetophobic.


thats all.

[purpleteacher]

I'm open about my phobia. Everyone has things they don't like and are scared of - so being open about it just makes me deal with the phobia less privately. I hate feeling alone with this fear and I have actually found many other people who share the same fear of V* in real life. I want to beat this phobia and I can't beat this one alone, especially since part of phobia is related to other people (them V*).


I sometimes get teased, other times supported. My family pokes fun at me about my phobia and about everything else, so there is nothing new to report there. My family is very unsupportive! The online community is helping me a lot and so is my job.


Part of being open about my phobia is that it forces me to deal with it. I can't just run and hide every time I get scared because to me, friendships mean more and every new experience with this phobia is a learning one. When I'm around trusting friends and trusting people, any experience can be conquered. When I'm around people who poke fun at me, I just have to develop a thicker skin and learn to develop a higher "internal tolerance" so I won't react and get made fun of.

[happyteacher]

All of my close family and friends know about my phobia and I am supported by all (even if they don't understand).


I am very lucky!


happyteacher

[spilled_milk]

Somehow i end up telling most people, although only my family and close friends know the extent of it. I end up telling them because of events that happen at school (for instance, one guy was hacking-coughing today at school at a table right near me, and i was flinching slightly and slowly inching away. My lab partner (this was chem class) asks me "why are you spazzing? are you just generally a spazzy person?" so i ended up telling him that I don't do very well with sickness.)


<3 Anya--

[blondie90]

I've never really told my friends.I've told them when someone in my family is sick and that I'm afraid to get sick, but I never make a big deal out of it. They have no idea how serious of a fear it is. It's easily covered up for me because I have no problem seeing other people v*. So whenever we're out at a party or something and one of them drinks too much, I don't run and hide. I just can't deal with contagious v*ing because I'm afraid of catching it. So for me, my friends don't know the extent to which I have this phobia!

[ham_crisp]

A while ago someone on here told my best friend for me...cos I didn't dare but I needed someone to know and understand.

Although I've never really told her (we don't speak much if at all) I love her for it. hehe. I'd never have been able to do it without her. And it was great when it was out in the open. My friend suddenyl realised why I never stayed round hers...and knew it was nothing personal.

She's the only person that truly knows...and she's kinda dismissed it assuming that cos I don't talk about it it's gone.

I once told my mum that the phobia had a name, and purposely left a paper out on the table. and she told me I was overreacting. She knows I get freaked out and does things to help me avoid v* but she's never truly believed me no does she know the extent it affects me. I think she just think it only bothers me when it's happening. I wish.

My dad...I don't see him much...but strangely I kinda half told him. He'd been upset that I stopped staying round...and we'd had huge arguments. So one night on the way home I told him...and he told me he used to be the same...as did my grandad. Whether it's true and it does run in families I don't know.

xxx. wow. long post. sorrry. xxx.

[laneyb]

I told my hubby about a year ago, just becos there were alot of sv's about, I had to go the the dentist for major dental treatment, and I kinda lost the plot.


He said it actually made a lot of senseto him (as weve been together 11 yrs) and it knd of explained why i'd acted strangely during several instances in the last few years.


I also told my Dad as he sufferes from anxiety and depression as I thought he would "get it" but I think he was too wrapped up in his own problems to understand (however in the lat few weeks he has spoken to me about panic attakcks so I think maybe he has considered what Ive said - tho Im sure hes defo not an emet!!)


Im just not ready to tell anyone else, not even my mom, tho I know she knows I have issues with sick people, I just dont think she knowshow deep my fear is!!!


Laney

[caboodles138]

I've told alot of people about my phobia. I actually just realized how serious it was this year. Most of my friends make fun of me, and they always are like making the gagging noises when you v*, around me. It really makes me mad and upset becuase they really dont understand how i feel about it. 3 of my closet and best friends try and support me, but it always isnt consistent. They still tend to say im weird, or just imagining that im so scared of v*ing. Ive gone to the doctors and told them how i feel, but my doctor laughed and changed the subject.


Most people/friends dont understand how scared and upset we get about this topic. And thank god ive finally found somewhere to vent about it all.


This is my first time writing anything on here. So sorry it was so long!


-Rachel

[ham_crisp]

Heya Rachel

Welcomes [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] *waves*

It's bad enough when my friends do that 'cos it's funny' so I can only imagine how horrible it must be that they do it on purpose...kinda evil...

Does anyone in your family know?

xxx.

[roulette]

I've had a lot of problems with telling people.



The main one was my parents. I tried to tell them long, long before I
even understood what it was. My brother was ill and he has the room
next door to me, and I could hear him. I asked to sleep elsewhere
because I was seriously freaking out. Trying my best to explain it
without having the words or even the understanding myself was hard and
my parents just told me to stop being silly and sent me back to bed.
After pacing around my room and panicking, I slept with the pillow
pressed over my head trying to drown out all his movements (his bed is
creaky as hell).



It wasn't until about a year and a half ago when I was doing research
into mental illnesses did I discover emetophobia and I worked out that
it was what I had.



I have never tried explaining it fully to my parents - even though it
really effects what I will and won't eat. I basically just had to put
up with my parents not understanding why one day I would be perfectly
happy to eat something, then I'd get ill and bam, I wouldn't be able to
eat it. After how they treated me when I was little and tried to
explain to them, I don't feel like I can.



My ex-boyfriends mother actually went in and tried her best to explain
it to them when I was thrown out in May. One of the conditions for me
returning afterwards was that they tried harder to accomodate for what
I could and couldn't eat - I even got special food bought for me.



My friends however - a lot of them don't understand, they just respond
with "no one likes vomiting" when I tell them. If they're not
particularly close to me I won't push it, but if they are, I do push it
and try to explain it fully. As a result I have a lot of friends who
actually try really hard to support me and take care of me - it's only
because of that I feel able to go out drinking with them!



It actually results in that I'm open about it with everyone, whether they understand or not - just not with my parents!


Edited by: roulette

[samara's on tv]

I tell A LOT of people about my phobia because it tends to explain some of the strange behaviors I have around food and why I'm such a picky eater. It also tends to explain my sudden panic attacks. I only have one really close friend and he's great about it. When we go out to eat at a new resturant (That I haven't been to) and I don't eat and he does, he doesn't say much about it. He tries to convince me that it'll be okay to eat, he says that he's eating and he's fine. He knows some of my quirks and when he asks me why I do certain things (Like don't take off my watch...don't ask I don't know WHY I can't take it off but it's because of my Emet) I tell him that and he just shrugs and accepts it.


My family has known for YEARS that I've had this problem. I've had it ever since I can remember, I would run away screaming from my sisters if they were to V*. My one sister likes to make gagging noises sometimes to scare me, it's not funny! And my parents just tell me to get over it and stop being paranoid about food. The one one who really understands it (Or tries to) Is my guy friend.


~Monica

[spilled_milk]

Ooh Monica I do the watch thing too!! I sleep with it and only have certain times that I can take it off (like in the shower).


Just a fun fact [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


<3 Anya--

[caboodles138]

thanks ham_crisp.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Yeah, i told my mom how i feel about V*ing...and how im pretty posotive im an emetophobe. She just tells me that i should justtalk to other people that have it also, which im doing right now. She isnt that much of a supporter but whatever.


My grandma knows that im afraid of v*ing but she doesnt know about emetophobia or anything(shes probaly never heard about it before). Im pretty sure ill tell her the next time were in a deep talk, cuz she understands me, and helps me with alot of stuff.


Rachel<3

[japa]

Hmmm... it doesn't sound like your friend isn't understanding, but it just sounds like you aren't comfortable with having her know.

I have told one of my friends, and seriously, I wish I hadn't! We were out one night and I was having the worst panic attack, so I just sat her down and told her. I feel so weak, because although I'm a very sociable person, I keep details of my own life to myself, and telling someone my biggest fear and secret all in one go...I dunno, now I feel awkward around her! I feel like she is always dying to ask me more about it (whenever there's someone v*ing ina movie or something, she gets all edgy around me, and I hate that!Something I've always been touchy about is people treating me like I'm 'delicate' or something!). And what's worse is that sometimes she WILL ask me! Just out of the blue - "How's your phobia?" >__< Its lovely that she cares, but its something I like to forget about...not be reminded of everytime we're out having fun and being normal.


That's just me though, I bet loads of people here have more understanding friends!


Sorry about the ranting! Welcome to the forums, 12fish, make yourself at home!^_^

[japa]

Anyone I trust enough to be a friend, I have told. It's not a problem at all for me.

[caboodles138]

Yah, it isnt a problem to tell friends, i think they should deffinetly know. so if they ever feel sick they can know not to be like omg im gonna v*!! ya know?