OT: Daughter sick with cough

[shiva]

My daughter has asthma. Every year I deal with letters from the school complaining about the days she misses each year. (usually around 20 tops). Today will be her 6th day out from this latest lower respiratory thing she has going on. (and her 11th so far this schoolyear) I took her to the allergist last Thursday and he gave her anti biotics. (said she definitely had brochitis and an ear infection). Yesterday the kids had off because of President's day and I had totally planned on sending her back to school today. She was really hard to wake this morning and once I got her up, she could not stop coughing.I gave her a breathing treatment and a drink and was trying to get her ready for school. She just looked sick. (that tired look in the eyes). I asked how she was feeling. (no more wheezing, just really productive cough) She said her throat hurts really bad and she's very tired. I looked at her throat and it's swollen, red and irritated, though I am not suprised with the amount she has been coughing.


Okay. Here's the question. In my mind I have no doubt that this kid needs rest and is still battling this infection. Her allergist is only in on Thursdays on this side of town, so it's not like I can get her in to see him or get her a letter to excuse these absences. I don't want to take her to the pediatrician because of germ exposure. I really think she just needs another day or two to kick this thing. So, do I go with my gut instinct and keep her home until I feel she is ready to go back and not let the school bully me into sending her too soon? I hate being put in this position. Does anyone know how many days kids are allowed to miss annually before they are in jeapordy of being held back? If I get notes from the doctor and send them to the school will that help? Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of situation? And, does anyone have any suggestions for helping her kick this thing more quickly? (She's been sick for 8 days). Thanks in advance

[jennyleigh1975]

I would not allow the school to bully me on this. I know that here where we live, they can miss 30 days. Unless she misses more than that, I dont think the school has any right to say anything to you about her being out. You are her mother and you know she needs to stay home today. If only other parents would have the same respect.

The school my children used to go to questioned me about how many days my oldest daughter was out one year. She had perfect attendance until Feb. of that school year. Then she got influenza, was out five days, got a secondary infection from that and was out another two days. Then in March, my mother died and she was out another three days. I think that schools depend on students being there too much that they have gotten to where they dont care if you send them sick or not. This was only 10 days my daughter was out, and they said something to me. I told them it was none of their business.

[shiva]

Thanks for your response Jennyleigh. I just don't understand what the problem is as long as the kids are keeping up with their work. She is a great student and actually hates missing school. I can't help but wonder where exactly the pressure to send sick kids to school comes from. I am wondering at this point if I should contact the office and ask how they would like me to handle situations such as this.


Thanks again. It's reassuring to know that others have been in the same situation.

[lyndsayanne]

hi


I don't really know what the school system is like in the USA but I know that with a legitimate illness like asthma the school can not really bully you into anything and alot of the time in the UK if a child is not well enough to attend school they will send work home if the child is up to it What allergys does your daughter have? My son is also asthmatic and is allergic to egg milk protien dust and dogs and cats. It can make life really difficult although he is only 2 and not at school


hope things with your school improve


lyndsayanne[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[stella9]

Listen to jennyleigh. I agree with her 110%!!! As a mother, I am always the advocate for my children. Schools, after-school activities, etc. always have another agenda (of which you are not a part of the decision making process).


Last year my son had a miserable season with his IBS and acid reflux. He went to the school nurseseveral times with stomach complaints. One time he told her the pain wasin his shoulder. She said "Make up your mind. Does it hurt in your shoulder or back? Stop making up stories." Anyone with IBS or acid reflux can atest to the fact that gas and stomach pains make their way to the back of the shoulders. I was mortified that this b***h said that to him. Needless to say I had his gastroenterologist send her some much needed information about both conditions.


Asthma, as you know, is nothing to sneeze at (no pun intended). I think you need to go to the headmaster or mistress, if this is a private school, or the Board of Education, if this is a public school, and have your daughter's problem brought to the forefront. Let them know that a head cold or other type of benign respiratory infection can create greater illness for your daughter which translates into missed school days. Try to set up some type of plan for her making up missed work. Sending her sick would only be miserable for her and a distraction for the classroom. Any teacher will agree that asick child in the classroom can change the complexion of the learning environment. Last week my son had a chunky chest cough with fever. I e-mailed the teacher and explained why he was absent and that I would not send him back until I knew he was no longer contagious because I did not want him to be in school sick or expose illness to other kids. She responded to me with gratitude for being concerned about the others.


You are the mother. I think because so many parents have given carte blanche to schools to raise their kids, the schools have taken on a holier than thou approach to whats good for everyone. In a very diversified country that has children with different religious and health issues, they need to back off a bit. I know the middle ground is a tough place to find. However, you are not keeping your daughter home so that the two of you can make pilgrimages to the mall. The child has asthma. You have a right and obligation to keep her home when necessary.


Stella

[gubba]

I would keep here home also for fear that her immune system is not so strong and she may get even worse and just another day of rest and indoors may really make a big difference. My son has a terrible cold and he actually V*'s from coughing and he has been doing that this morning and we are skipping art and gymnastics. I know that he is younger and it is not as important as school, but if he was a bigger kid, I would keep him home and he has no fever or anything other than the bad cold and he coughs and gags. I think that rest and being down for a day or two is better than your daughter going back and getting worse and then being out even longer. If she keeps up with her work, why do they care???

[jennyleigh1975]

I know that there is a boy in my oldest daughters class that has asthma real bad. I know he misses a lot of school, especially during the colder months. His mom has spoken with the headmaster of our school, and nothing is ever said about his missed days.

As long as your daughter is keeping up with her works, her grades are good, and she hasnt missed the limit on days absent, I would not allow them to bully me. They have no right.

I hope your daughter gets to feeling better very soon!!!!

[shiva]

Jennyleigh,
Thanks! I hope she feels better soon, too. I talked to her a bit ago and she sounded really tired. I am wondering if she should be tested for strep or mono. I guess I will give it another couple of days. Sometimes these bronchial things just knock the life right out of ya, I guess.
Thanks again.

[californiagirl]

Shiva~~


I hope she feels better soon!!!!

[amanda l.]

I have asthma, so I really feel for her.


I am of the opinion that I know my kids best, and I will decide if and when they are healthy enough for school. I don't let the school bully me, but, I do have to say that they go to a small Catholic school and I am on the school board. Every body knows every body, ya know? So they know I don't keep them home for no reason.