It was half term not last week the week before...
and I went to a gig on the Tuesday night...which in itself was great. Even though I decided I'd stay on the steps where I could see the door, about half way through I told my friend we should go to the front...in the crowds of people. And although I dont remember many of the songs that were played when I was there cos I was so busy planning an emergency escape route *just incase* I managed to stay there right til the end.
Annnnd then. I went back to my friends and stayed the night. I was so pleased with myself.
Until the next night I got home (from another gig!) and my mum had a sv and I freaked. Completely. Didn't leave the house for a week.
Buuut the Saturday just gone...I went to a sleepover. With lots of people. And stayed up a long time....without worrying at all. Usually I'd insist on sleeping nearest to the door, but I didn't. OK so I asked the kitchen light to be on just incase...but I slept the night. And had fun.
I don't wanna jinx myself by being so positive, cos I know theres a chance that I'll have a bad day and I wont be able to do the same things. But I do believe it is possible for everyone. And just cos theres one bad day, that shouldn't hishearten people to give up.
I've been reading people say they've suffered for far too many years. I'm only 15 and the thought I could be stuck with this foever petrifies me. I want rid. So each time I read it half of me is crying and wanting to give up and hide cos I can't do it. But then theres a part of me using that as an ecouragement to say I don't to be here when I'm an adult...worrying about sv's going round. I want to be here helping people.
Sorry long post, jsut need to get it off my mind, and typing positive things kinda drills it into my mind...[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
<font color=MAGENTA><font face=\"Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif\"><font size=\"1\">Courage doesn’t always roar sometimes it’s the little voice at the end of the night saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’</font></font></font>