its easter day. im supposed to be happy. but im not, im depressed, so unless u'd all terribly mind, im just gnna sit here and hav a little rant.
my phobia is kinda worse.. but not really considering im stuck indoors neway. but whats really getting to me, is my eating disorder.
you see, inside me i hav so many voices all shouting at me at once.
1.) emet voice - which is kinda quiet but getting louder as we speak
2.) anorexia voice - which is loud loud atm
3.) abusive childhood voice - which is extremely loud (need to hav a rant to my social workr i think)
4.) general dissing voice - which most ppl call my self esteem but it keeps me awake at night.
im just so exhausted, and iv got exams in 4 weeks, and i cant revise or do newrk, because thers too much going on and i jst wanna crawl into a little hole and never come out
im not losing weight, and its really annoying me. im still 6 stone, i just wanna be a little less, thats all!! so, im starving myself, hopefully that will work.
all my friends are going out this easter, but i just dont seem to be invited anywhere, they probably all know by now, i'd make sum kinda excuse as to y i cant go anyway
my excellent friend who wil sit and listen to me all the time abut this eating disorder (simply because she has one herself) is on holiday so i cant even speak to her
i just wanna cry, but i cant. i am so depressed, wanna go to sleep. god i hate this world. im so f*cked up. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
Jen xxx [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn\'t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn\'t know that so it goes on flying anyway.
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