OT: The SAGA continues...Heart Failure..

[californiagirl]

Well, for all of you dear people who are familiar w/my crazy life, the update is that I took Jamie home to her moms. Well, now her mom has a bf moving in, and he has laid down some rules for Jamie and her brother to follow. Now, because of her new rules, she wants to come back here to live!!!!!!! She's playing a f'ing game, and I am washing my hands of the whole thing. I can't be her mom, don't WANNA be her mom, and will not raise her. I sound cold-blooded, but I'm dealing with a very troubled kid here, and just cant do it.


Now, as for my NEW problem.......does anyone know anything about Congestive Heart Failure?? My real daughter (not Jamie), has her real father in California. Well, we just found out Tuesday that he was in the hospital w/CHF. His family told me that his past 20 years of heavy drinking, drugs, and poor eating habits all contributed to this. He is now functioning on only 15% of his heart and will for the rest of his life. He has irrepairable damage, and heart surgery isn't an option anymore. His only options are meds forever or a ht. transplant. I guess the meds will prevent any further damage and keep him stable. Well, his kidneys were affected, and edema set in because of all the sodium and water in his system. Now he's on a diet, not to consume ANY sodium AT ALL. They told him the longest he will live is 10 years, but honestly, I don't see him living even half that. He is scared, and has a new little girl who's only 4. He will not see his kids grow too much older nor will he see any grandkids. He is only 39, will be 40 next month. He's the youngest of 10 kids. This is weird, because even though he was very abusive to me in the past, I feel bad for him. Why?!?!?!?! Also, he betrayed the trust of my daughter, and she hadn't talked to him for a couple of years, and suddenly, totally out of the blue, the day before we knew he was sick, she said she wanted to call him on his birthday this year, which I thought was strange. Also, I have, in the past couple of weeks, been seeing the image of him on his death-bed with our kids surrounding him, and him dying. THEN, we hear he's sick!!!!!! Scary!!!!! Thanks for listening[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[babygap5]

Wow. You could be feeling bad because, even though he treated you horribly, he is the father of your daughter. One of my friends was in a similar situation. Her husband mentally abused her for 25 years before she had enough courage to get a divorce. He remarried w/in a few years of the divorce, and last year was diagnosed w/ throat cancer. He just passed away a few months ago. My girlfriend hated his guts for the torment he put her through, but felt bad because, it was the father of her children.She put aside her feelings for him for the sake of her kids, who, had issues with him as well, but, still had a place in their heart for him.


As for your other issue, w/ your stepdaughter. You do sound a little cold, but, then again, I'm not in your situation and I have no idea how I would feel. Just try to remember that she is just a troubled kid who needs a lot of love and support. It's not her fault that she has such an inconsiderate mother. It's actually a compliment on your part that she would prefer to stay with you then her own mother. I'm sure your rules are just as tuff as the new ones, but, she obviously would prefer to stay with you.


I'm sure you've heard all the suggestions about counseling, therapy etc,., I just wish I had some words to help you get through this. Just stay strong for her and your daughter and do the best you can. There is this saying, I'm not sure how religious you are, but I know it's gotten me through some ruff times, whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger, God wouldn't give it to you if you couldn't handle it.


Stay strong, try to have a positive outlook on things, and if your daughter wants to spend time w/ her dad, let her, it's ok. This is his punishment for being such an awful person. What goes around, comes around. ( ok, i'm done with the corny sayings...

[shiva]

Both my grandparents have (had) CHF. My Grandma was diagnosed maybe 4 years ago, and it continuing to become even healthier as she ages (because of watching her diet and getting excercise). My Grandpa had his bout with this almost ten years ago. This is the grandpa who recently died of a heart attack.


All I really (kinda) understand is that people with CHF have fluid around their heart and that through medication, diet and excercise it can be reversed some.


How old is your girls dad? I am really sorry that she is having to deal with this at such an age. I hope everything goes well. How are you feeling?

[californiagirl]

BABYGAP~~


Thank you, you make alot of sense. As for Jamie, I think it's best for her to be with her mom because hubby works 12-hour days and I can't trust her, so I basically ave to babysit her all day, which leaves me no time for work. My daughter needs me, and deserves my attention right now while she goes through a hard time with her bio dad. Jamie needs help, and I am more than happy to assist with that, but I just can't raise her.


SHIVA~~


Britt's dad is 39, will be 40 next month. She is still in shock, and a little confused. She is spending time with him in CA right now, and knows she can take all the time she needs. I will support her in that. Being that her dad is only functoning on 15% of his heart, I don't see his prognosis as being very good. I do wish that he'd "mend fences" with people that he's hurt in the past, so that he can die peacefully and my kids don't lose him and suffer any regrets.

[japa]

My father has congestive heart failure.You may want to look at the American Heart Assocation's website that explains all about the disease. On the medication and usually oxygen and the diet modifications, people can live quite a long time and live enjoyably and productively with congestive heart failure. It is by no means an instant death sentence. My father is 88 years old, and he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure two years ago. He is on oxygen and a host of pills. It would be my thinking that a man of 40 will have on his side the lesser amount of years that he's been on the earth, and so the ten year prognosis isn't unreasonable, I'd think.

[californiagirl]

Thank JAPA, I will take a look at that site[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]