Well, once again for what seems like the2 millionth time I find myself struggling against this illness. I was doing as well as I probably ever have mentally, but of course a few rough days and the negative thoughts begin to take over. It always amazes the highs and lows that I go through. One minute I believeIhave my fear conquered and the nextI'm rightback in the middle of the storm.Yet I'm reminded that there are others like me. Struggling each day. And that is why I would like to go over some things to share with you at the very same time I tell them to myself.
Tonightmay be dark, and it may be lonely, but I do not have to be afraid. I have a choice to run and hide but Iknow that I mustfight. I must remind myself ofthe better things and the happiness they bring. I need to take slow deep breaths and relax my mind and find something to smile about.I will get through this because I'm strong, becausei've done it many times before. I have many things to live for and I will not allow this todiminish them. Grit your teeth and suck it up, and go give your kids a hug. Whatever happens, happens. But with a happy heart and healthy mind it all will be O.K.
A special thank you to my daughter Alyssa. Your strength and courage gives me great inspiration. Where I am weak, you are strong. I will always love you.