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Thread: Having Children

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    United Kingdom
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    I have been emet for at least 30 years (Im 41). I was also TERRIFIED of having children. However I went on to have a daughter who is now 14. I spent most of pregnancy ina highly anxious state but was nevers*.I feltn* but not a lot. Idrank ginger tea, ate ginger cookies, dry crackers, toast when I felt bad. I even got amidwife to give me an injection of an anti emet while I was in labour even tho I din't even feel s*. She could have stuck a pin in my bum for all I know!


    I am a lone parent and I havehad a fewscary moments when my daughter has been s* (have called my parents in the middle of the night aged 39hysterical)and they have come down to mineto take care of her. I am also manic when she says she feels ill (any kind of ill). She is showing signs of emet herself for which I don't think I can forgive myself.


    Even with all this. She is the best best best and I cannot imagine how my life would be without her. Although I still have horrible anxious times and carry anti emets with me everywhere, my life is a million times better since having her. In my early 20's I was practically bedridden with this phobia and although I still take to my bed at the first sign of n*or if there is sv around, I do manage to have a pretty good life. I work full time in a stressful profession which brings me into a lot of contact with childrenand thier families,I holiday abroad (flying)2-3 times a year I have a great (long distance) relationship with boyfreind of 2 years and best of allthe most beautiful, intelligent, witty daughter any mother could hope for.


    So to all you who are scared of having children I would say really try and go for it. There are loads of emets with kids who manage. I hope I don't sound as if I don't appreciate how horriblethis phobia is becasue I really really do.In my 20's I would rather have died than had it and even now when I'm having a particulalry bad time, Iam so scared I shake with fear and cry)


    But children arenot s* all the time, some very rarely. I can count on one hand the amount of times my daughter has been s* and guess what - I have not got ill!


    Hope this helps some of you.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    United States
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    Thank you so very much for sharing your story with us! I especially appreciate it since I am one of those who fear having children. You are obviously a very strong woman, totally committed to being a wonderful mother to your precious daughter (and doing it alone as a single mother, I may add!).


    It makes me sad that your daughter is showing signs of emet and that you are blaming yourself. Someone stated this in another thread and it is SO true....IF your daughter is indeed an emet, it's really no different than if you suffered from asthma or some otherillness (keep in mind emet is an illness!) and you passed it along to your daughter. It's not something you intentionally chose to do, and what better support can your daughter have than her loving mother who understands exactly what she's going through and can offer hercoping tactics?


    Again, thank you for sharing your story and your encouragement!


    Stacy
    \"Horticulture: You can lead a whore to culture, but you cannot make her think.\" -- Dorothy Parker

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    United States
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    Wow, that was a really reat post. Thanks prospero.
    \"Napoleon, you\'re just jealous because I\'ve been talking to babes online all day.\" ~ Kip

  4. #4
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    Mar 2006
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    United States
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    Thanks so much for your post, Propero. I'm also somewhat afraid of
    having children. As I've gotten a little older (I'm in my mid-20's right now)
    I've started to think I might want a child at some point in the future but,
    as I posted in another thread, I've been worried about passing it along to
    them. Not to mention the risk of getting sick either during the pregnancy
    or from my child later in life.

    Your story is inspirational. Thanks so much for sharing!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    United States
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    Yeah thanks for sharing. I want kids but I'm really scared of morning sickness and then having a kid that V*s. I mean I could NEVER be a single parent because I would literally RUN AWAY at the first sign of illness. I have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to not V*. So I think I could get through the morning sickness but then when the kid is born and they are ill...I don't know if I could handle it! You are very brave and I'm glad you are proud of your daughter the way you are!


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  6. #6
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    I was talking to another emet on the phone this morning (if you read
    this HI hon!) and we both have kids. She has one, I have two girls,
    ages 27 months and 12 months.I can understand you all who have
    fears of having children because of you emet. I had them too, but
    wanted kids, and I didn't want me emet to rob me of that. And
    having my girls is the greatest joy of my life. Yes, they do get ill.
    But think of it like this -- say on average, kids get 2 sv's a year.
    Now, not all do, because neither of my kids have ever had a sv. But
    lets just say two a year from birth to age 18. That's 36 sv's. So out
    of 18 years you'll spend only one month with a sick child. Are you
    willing to give up the other 17 years and 11 months of loving your
    child, for the one month of sickness? Plus, once your kids get to be 7
    or 8 they can pretty much take care of the whole v* part themselves
    and you don't have to clean it up often.

    As far as the morning sickness part, I felt awful while I was pregnant
    with both of them but I didn't v* once, and I didn't get n* or v*
    during labor either.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
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    Thank you prospero for your wonderful inspirational post. I have put off having kids until now as i have been terrified (like all emets) of the morning sickness factor. I am now in my mid thirties so i really can't put it off any longer as my biological clock seems to be ringing in my ears hehe! I really want children and have weighed that up against my phobia and what it comes down to is i don't want my phobia to come first anymore, it's not as important as having a family is to me. Sure if i manage to get pregnant ok then i will start thinking a bit more about possible morning sickness but my doctor is well aware of my phobia so i am sure he will help me out if i need it


    Its so great to read posts from emet mums, like yourselfthat have managed through it and come out the other side with lovely kids, you are all wonderful. I hope to be in that catagory one day[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


    Trinity

 

 

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