After joining this site I have been trying to think about what EXACTLY amI scared of. I think Im scared of the panic and anxiety attacks. But lately I don't know if it is the control. Cause I remember when I drank too much alcohol one night and I v* and so little came out that afterwards I felt fine and kinda proud that it wasnt so bad. I think im scared of the amount that comes out. I know this sounds absolutley crazy but I think it'll be okay for me if it was really little.. and it was over in a few seconds. Instead Im terrified if it was a lot and I choke on it and I wouldnt be able to breathe... and prolly scared of it if it was continuous and multiple times. It just sucks how we can't really control how much. I've got friends that stick two finger down their throat when they feel nauseous cause they said they rather v* and get it over with than sit there feeling nauseous. Because they do this so often when they get drunk that sometimes I wish I could do what they do.... sometimes when my stomach feels weird i convince myself that I am going to do it before the nausea gets worst and i start to panic.. but I always get scared and just wait it out (or pace it out haha)..........

Just wondering if you think that is why.
If not please share your opinions and experiences and stories .... it would help me out a lot in understanding this phobia.

Thanks a lot .
-Vee.Edited by: veebum