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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Canada
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    After joining this site I have been trying to think about what EXACTLY amI scared of. I think Im scared of the panic and anxiety attacks. But lately I don't know if it is the control. Cause I remember when I drank too much alcohol one night and I v* and so little came out that afterwards I felt fine and kinda proud that it wasnt so bad. I think im scared of the amount that comes out. I know this sounds absolutley crazy but I think it'll be okay for me if it was really little.. and it was over in a few seconds. Instead Im terrified if it was a lot and I choke on it and I wouldnt be able to breathe... and prolly scared of it if it was continuous and multiple times. It just sucks how we can't really control how much. I've got friends that stick two finger down their throat when they feel nauseous cause they said they rather v* and get it over with than sit there feeling nauseous. Because they do this so often when they get drunk that sometimes I wish I could do what they do.... sometimes when my stomach feels weird i convince myself that I am going to do it before the nausea gets worst and i start to panic.. but I always get scared and just wait it out (or pace it out haha)..........

    Just wondering if you think that is why.
    If not please share your opinions and experiences and stories .... it would help me out a lot in understanding this phobia.

    Thanks a lot .
    -Vee.Edited by: veebum
    \"without rain, you would never know shine.\"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    157

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    Indeed. It COULD be related to how much comes out. I mean, when you get sick, you generally aren't afraid of dying (Well, some people say they'd prefer to die rather than v*)


    But after watching a video of a man named Lance Ozanix consume a bottle of ipecac (Syrup causing severe v*) his reaction was very realistic (Although the video was fake, it came from a movie called National Lampoons Lost Reality) and he was Blowing chunks for a good 15 mins nonstop.


    I guess you're right, if you knew you would only have to do it once when sick then it's just some mild nausea then it's ok. But the thing that scares me is I don't know how long it will last. When I had food poisoning for a week and a half, I remember thinking "Oh god" because I read in most books and on the internet that Salmonellosis causes the runs + v* for 2 weeks. I was petrified, then thought "Nah it's not true" because the stomach empties after the first day and the illness is more of a gut/bowel thing.


    Wrong -> The next day was v* filled and so on until day 5, it slowly calmed down to tolerable retching.


    Still, this afternoon, I lay down feeling ill as hell, feeling my stomach weigh down and all hot. I knew I had only eaten a small cup of chips so I would only have to hurl once, I didn't feel fearful at all, not one bit.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    79

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    Hey, I think you have tapped into the reason for my fear. I know this sounds dumb, but I remember that I didn't eat carrots for many many years because I thought that the my body couldn't digest them, and the only way to get them out was to v*. This made my mum and sister laugh (my sister still likes to tell the story - it is so embarrassing!) but I think it's theamount that scares me, like if it is alot, am I going to choke or whatever. The sad thing is, I have never been drunk (i'm 27) because I fear v* if I drink too much


    The trouble is, all the logic in my brain tells me that my body is a system, and it reacts for a reason. d* and v* are caused when the body has issues with what's inside, and whatever it is, it is better out than in.And for all the suffering I endure by feeling 'unwell' (I hear ya on the 'pacing-it-out'!), the seemingly small hurdle of v* just once (maybe) doesn't entice me to really try. I wish I could stick two fingers down my throat, but I just can't do it. If your friends give you any ideas on how to do it, be sure to pass it on. I hate living my life ruled by this fear.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    573

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    I like a few drinks, (nice glasses of wine) but I have friends who drink to excess, feel n*. then forcibly v* so they can carry on drinking, I just dont get it. They say they feel better after!!!


    How gross is that?


    Laney

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    58

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    I've never been drunk either, though I /have/ been brave enough to drink
    a little more than I used to as of late. (Translation: I'm now able to finish a
    single drink.)

    I think that a big part of my phobia revolves around the amount of vomit.
    If it's a little, I still freak, but - LITTLE GRAPHIC - I've had sour burps in
    recent years in which a little... stuff comes briefly up and I've handled it
    well enough. But the more there is, the more nightmarish it becomes in
    my mind. I think another large factor is the lack of control. If it's multiple
    and /lots/ and I can't do anything to stop the horror, well... Yeah. It's
    terrifying. That's why I was traumatized by movies such as Problem Child
    2, Sandlot and - though I haven't actually seen the scene, only heard it -
    Stand By Me. Large amounts and there's a feeling of helplessness with
    each one (i.e. innocent victims).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    United States
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    I agree...i am almost 40, have never been drunk in my life time due to this emet...i do think it's the amount that would bother me the most...and the nausea beforehand....it's the fact of not knowing when it will stop bothers me alot. I think if it's just one or two times, i could handle it...i think. But more than that i just don't know.....Well, it happened almost 15 yrs ago....the day before i was to be induced for labor....something happened to me, and i did v......and it was like 12 times....i have no idea what waswrong with me...i know i had to go on to the hospital and i did it once more when i got there, then they finally gave me some type of shot, and i never did it again....and i haven't since...and i am petrified. But on the other hand, i do remember when it happened...i just remember thinking ok i can do this...i am not dying...it's unpleasant...but i am ok. But that fear is still there, and i guess it will always be there....unfortunetely. I hate this.....[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
    Kate
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    60

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    fiendish_thingy, I have thoes too, where like ... a little bit of what I ate occasionally comes up my throat but without the stomach contractions and gagging which was fine ahha cause.. to make it a little disgusting.. i just swallow it back down .. x_x* but its just not knowing how much will come up.. I think if i knew it was just once.. and very little I'll still panic but will be able to make myself v* just to get it over with.. It just freaks me out cause when i was younger whenever I v* i would have crazy stomaches and v* like 5 - 6 times before it actually stops. that now I am terrified that its going to be continuous...

    laneyb, Haha i know the feeling.. Im okay when I see puddles on the floor or smell it cause i can just run away from it haha but i can't see someone DOING THE DEED (if its not alcohol.. ahah if its alcohol Im fine wit it) hahaha cause its just... so disgusting.. like its so fresh x___X* But my friends I think theyre crazy because they are able to do this... and then resume drinking right after

    jay_rough, yea I gotta admit .... sometimes when i ate very little and start feeling nauseous I still panic but not as much as i would if i knew I just had a full meal. (x_x)*

    kate1966, Yea I know how you're feeling.. the initial v*ing wasnt so bad but then we all just start to fear it again...like because I fear this it makes me determined to beat it. Maybe not RIGHT away, but babysteps. I don't MAKE myself v* but everytime i feel nauseous I try to pursuade myself to do it (mentally)... Although i haven't really got there yet.. i want to just make the nausea and the anxiety attacks go away before it gets worst.. or preferably before an anxiety attack.

    snoozy, usually n* progresses thru time. My friends tell me that before it gets to the point where they feel "really sick" they usually do it in the very first signs (or feelings) of n*. I can see where they are coming from, because they are not emets they rahter v* and get it over with than to sit there feeling sick all night. I've just been asking them a lot of questions on it, so let me know if you have any questions I'll try to answer them for you. I guess you can say like.. having friends like them ... make being an emet a little easier, I use to be terrified but now that i hang out around them so much I got use to seeing, and being close to it (holding their hair back while they v*)....

    I think the only time where I was OKAY with v* was the last time I did it... where I drank too much and v* ... very very very little... my bf was sitting next to me (we were at a bar kinda thing) and he said that was more like a mouthful of spit than actual v* and he made me feel better by trying to lighten the mood after... saying how I v* like a man hahah cause i spread my legs ( i was sitting down) and held my own hair and didnt accept any help from anyone (cause the girls there were asking if i wanted to go to the washroom, and i was giving them hand signs that i dont ... ahah cause i was in the middle of v*ing) Maybe it was cause i was intoxicated that it wasnt so bad lol.. I dont know.. I just remembered the v*ing wasnt bad.. it was the nausea before and the anixiety attack I got.

    Thanks to all of you who replied and shared your opinions and stories.

    -vee
    \"without rain, you would never know shine.\"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    United States
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    My relationship with emet is really complicated and has many different components. Here are a few...
    1. Control. I have serious issues with being in control of myself because I have a background of having little to not control over my surroundings. As a result, WHATEVER I can control with my body - I attempt to control. I have learned that I cannot control others and that I must accept that, but I can learn to control myself.
    2. Breathing. I have bad allergies and I am afraid to choke on my own V*. I am just scared I won't be able to breathe or catch my breath.
    3. Germs/ Illness. I am really scared of getting sick. I don't have great health to begin with and I cannot afford medical treatment, so I am petrified to getting seriously ill. My family does not tolerate illnesses well either and I know I will be on my own if I get seriously ill with anything (I have a serious medical condition that they pretty much ignore). I don't like germs and I hate illnesses. Not only will being sick make me uncomfortable, but I know it will make others uncomfortable while they are sick. I don't like knowing ANYONE is uncomfortable!
    I\'m always a shade of purple...
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Japan
    Posts
    47

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    Quote Originally Posted by veebum

    fiendish_thingy, I have thoes too, where like ... a little bit of what I ate occasionally comes up my throat but without the stomach contractions and gagging which was fine ahha cause.. to make it a little disgusting.. i just swallow it back down .. x_x**
    Sounds very much like GERD.

 

 

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