Hi everyone.


Its a long post please bear with me!


I have been having sucha horrible time recently with this phobia that has meant I have been struggling to get to work nearly everyday for the last 6 weeks(+) and have had quite a few days off becasue I have been feeling so anxious = N* = me thinking I am ill = me thinking i am going to v* = me unable to function (often unable to get out bed). I am also very very tired (becasue I don't sleep well at all as I have RSL).


Anyway, to cut a long story short I have been reallyreally down - and this has been affecting my work BIG TIME, I have lost loads of confidence in my ability to do the job andI think I am crap.


So, I after discussions with my managers who have been great I have decided I need to take some time off to try and repair myself.In the 30 years (plus) i have had this phobia it has affected me to differnt degrees. I really need to get back to being able to manage my daily life a whole lot better than I have been recently. At the moment I feel as if I am on the decline andif I don't do "something" I am only going to get worse and end up being completely disabled by it (as I was about 20 years ago) and not be able to work and end up seriously depressed. Having my daughter changed that for me and having another baby is not an option for me this time!!!!!


I saw my GP yesterday who has agreed to write to mental health services to see if we can hurry up the CBT i asked for in January when I saw a consultant psychiatrist who said I did not meet the threshold for an urgent referral for CBT - because I was still managing to work etc. Things have got a lot worse since then I think mainly because of all the sv's that have been around.


Anyway my GP (who is thebest GP in the world)suggested I try anti-depressants. Iagree with him and do thinkI need these, because I think I need to start feeling better before I can deal with this phobia head on! But I am TERRIFIED of the possible side effects and I am therefore very wary about taking them. He has prescribed Seroxat. Have any of you tried them and if so what was it like?


I also wondered about taking St John's Wort instead, which I have also heard can really help with depression. Have any of you tried this? My GP was a bit cynical about them but said I should do what I feel more comfortable with.


I have been signed of work for 3 weeks, and feel I have this time to start making serious inroads in to begining a recovery.So any advice from you would be very very gratefully recieved. I am also going to start YOGA classes again and I plan to something else everyday rather than just sitting in bed feeling rubbish!


Thanks in advance!!!!!