Lonely

[curly wurly]

I can not believe how much I have missed this site. My computer went wrong a week and a half ago and has only just been repaired. My husband went away to sea last Thursday for 4 months and I really missed IES.The evenings have been long and lonely, but hurray, now my computer is working again.


I was actually coping quite well since my husband went away. My Mother in Law gave me a hard time as always, saying how I do not visit her enough and upset her all the time. As usual I took the blame for everything and ended up agreeing with everything she said. I felt I could take no more and enrolled on a confidence and assertiveness course to try and gain a little bit of self confidence as I have very little at the moment. The first session was last night and for the first time in ages I went out and left my children with a close friend . It was very hard to get the courage to actually turn up for the course but I did it and felt good for doing so. Then, I got a phonecall today to say my friend who babysat has a sv. I am very worried but hopefully my children will be fine.


Just after this call I had a call from the Doctors asking my husband to contact them. (He had a scan last week for some lumpsbut assured me they were nothing.) The doctor would not tell me anything but asked me to get my husband to contact him as soon as possible. I have emailed my husband but had no reply yet. I am so worried it is something serious. He put off going to the Doctors for so long and eventually I had to beg him to go. Why does everythiong happen when my husband is away?


Sorry to go on so much, it is just I am feeling very alone and usually my mum is there to help me, but she is in the middle chemotherapy at the moment and really does not need any more worries. I am sure by the morning everything will feel so much better. It is just getting through the long nights which is so hard.

[fifi]

you poor thing my love. If there is anything i can do for you. Keep strong and brave. Dont think bad things about yourself. You are what you are and you are a strong women having to cope with lots. You must keep positive and be focused one day at a time. Someone once said to me" when some things are like barriers in our lives, make sure you are always taller than these barriers" you can overcome anything.


Maybe the doctor could not tell you anything because of Patient Confidentalalty (sp). Dont think about the worse, which i know is hard when you are on your own at night. Dont worry about the babysitter either, svs are only contagious (sp) when they actually v...


Get a good book and read it every nite when you go to bed. Put the radio on low and have nice sleeps. It is getting lighter in the evenings now, so it will get better. I am here for you if you need to send me a private message. I work in the day, however, i will look out for you when i come in from work.


Keep stron Hun.


God bless

[californiagirl]

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[curly wurly]

Thankyou Fifi and Californiagirl.


It is no good worrying about my husband until I know what the problem is, but I will worry anyway as I love him. I will ring the Doctor tomorrow and try and explain a bit better that my husband is in the far East and it is difficult to contact him at the moment. Maybe they can just give me some indication of the problem.


I have just had a real confidence boost. I was sorting out my six year old daughter's book bag and found a little note she had written to me at school. It said, "To mummy, I love you so very much. You are kind and very nice. I am glad you are my mummy. Here are 5 gold stars *****" It made me cry. I cannot wait for her to wake up tomorrow morning. She will get lots of big hugs. My daughter is such a sweetheart and I am so proud of her. I must be doing something right to have such lovely children. My son also made me feel really wanted earlier today. He will be 3 in May but has problemswith his speech. He threw his arms round me and said "Love you mummy". It is the first time he has said "mummy", usually I am just "mmm". It was an emotional moment and since then he has not stopped saying mummy. It is lovely. I have to be strong for my children. They need their mummy.

[aar13]

Hi Sally!


I'm so glad that your computer is back up and running. Check your private messages, I got yours and sent one back. I hope that you are feeling much better since you can come here. I'm sorry that you are so lonely and hope that I can be of help when you need it.


Too bad your hubby is away - and I hope your kids are safe and don't get the sv*. It's going around here really bad and I'm hoping myself that I don't get it and neither does my daughter since I'm pretty sure my husband had it over the weekend.


Good to hear from you! Take good care.

[nikki.l]

Hey Curly! I noticed you hadn't been on in a while. I thought maybe you became curedof the phobia and decided you didn't need us anymore [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


I'm sorry to hear you're so lonely at night. I'm alone at night and if I don't find something to do I go crazy. Try to enjoy the peace and quiet if you can.


Your MILseems very pushy, but it sounds like she enjoys your company. Hopefully your kiddos won't come down with the babysitter's sv, but if she wasn't symptomatic when she watched them they'll probably be ok. It's probably the sv you just got over.


Feel free to message me if you want to talk.


Nikki

[curly wurly]

Thanks Alissa and Nikki


Well I got through last night and this morning everything felt better. I had my usual early morning call at 5.30 am as my daughter gave me a kiss and asked if she could snuggle before we got up.


Everything was going fine until my friend rang and asked me to go round for a cup of tea and since I have not seen her for some time I agreed. I was a bit suspicious when I saw that her 10 year old son was not at school. I immediately asked what was wrong with him and she said he was just a bit under the weather. I asked if it was the dreaded bug and she said no her son was just tired. Anyway, after an hour the boy told me he had v*d twice in the night and the family they had been with on Sunday all had an sv. I went into panic mode and made an excuse to leave. Now my son and myself have been unecessarily exposed to yet another sv. I am a wreck now. I finally thought things were getting better and now everyone seems to have the sv again.My friend even knows about my emet so why did she have to ask me round? I just hope we do not catch it. we have had more than our fair share just lately. I do not think I could cope with my children having another sv especially now my husband is away.

[kate1966]

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time lately....things will get better soon. I hope that your husband gets good news from the doctor and not bad news...i know you are worried...and that makes your stress level go up. Try to do some nice things for yourself and try to relax if you can...i know it's so hard. Your mil really sounds like she is pushy...i know how that is...but at the same time...you might could use her support now...i don't know how your relationship is with her though. Your children sound adorable and it really sounds like you are a great mom to them. Keep that in your mind and you will be fine...they need you so much and they need you to be strong for them. As far as the self confindence goes...i think it's great youare taking that course...i think it will help out alot. It's the first step anyway. You know you always have us on here to talk to. I hope your day is going good today and that you are feeling better...keep us posted on your husband and yourself and children. K

[aar13]

You poor thing Sally! I would be upset with my friend too if she did that since most of my friends know about my EMET and how I panic when it's around me. I was always under the assumption that February was peak sv* season around here but right now it's going around horrible - I know tons of people that have had it! All co-workers, family, and friends. My husband is actually leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow for 5 nights and I'm so scared that my daughter is going to catch it while he is gone.


I don't need the anxiety right now since the accident and then catching such a bad cold. I'm feeling much better now, but I'm just really tired and stressed since I'm not sleeping well at all. I have 9 more weeks of this pregnancy to go and I can't wait until he is finally here!


Try to relax and stay calm - I know it's hard since your husband is gone again. It's easier said than done, but we have to do our best. I'm here if you need me!


Alissa

[curly wurly]

Thankyou for your kind words Kate and Alissa,


I have actually had an email from my husband. He has told me not to worry about him as the hospital told him that his GP would be in touch to confirm the results, so hopefully I have been worrying about nothing.


My Mother in Law has just been on the phone to find out why I was not in at half past 3. I had taken the children for a haircut and she assumed I had been to visit my mum and got jealous. Even when I told her I had been to the hairdressers she did not believe me and put the phone down on me. It was so unecessary. She rang up wanting an argument and she will blame it on me even though I did not say anything to upset her. I went to see her on Saturday, 2 days after my husband left. We spent the whole day with her but she did not deserve it really as she took every opportunity to pass nasty comments and I even had to hide in the bathroom and cry so my children did not see me upset. She just sat in her chair and said completely out of the blue,"you have ripped the guts out of me!" . I thought I was hearing things, but no. She then continued to say that I have hurt her so much as I do not go to work and let her look after my children. I tried to explain that I love being at home with my children whilst they are young but then she just said how selfish I am, so I can not win. I have tried everything to get on with my Mother in Law but she obviously has big problems and needs some help. She must know I am an easy target to bully. If she was not the childrens grandmother and my husbands mum thenI would not go anywhere near her.


So far my children are fine. My son has been so full of mischief so hopefully we will miss the sv this time.

[aar13]

Wow Sally, your MIL sounds absolutely selfish and just horrible! No wonder you are such a mess, she says reallyhurtful things and I don't blame you at all for being so upset about it. What does she do when you try to tell her how she makes you feel? Oh wait, I can only imagine that it's nothing good at all. If I were you I would avoid her as much as possible for as long as possible and when she asks why you simply discuss with her (again) how you feel. That is so unfair of her to treat you like that. Maybe you should have your husband have a few words with her.....will that help, or have you already tried?


So far we are also ok without the sv* but I'm still really anxious about it since there are sooooo many people in my area that have it right now. Stay healthy!

[curly wurly]

It is no good telling my MIL how she makes me feel as she just says how bad SHE feels and she will squeeze out a few tears and make me feel so guilty that I end up apologising. My husband does sometimes stand up to her now but it is only in the past 5 years that he has been strong enough to do it. Now she waits until he is out of the room or away at work before she has one of her real outbursts. She does exactly the same to her own daughter and waits until her husband is not around as he will not take any of it.