I feel so much for you. I can feel your pain, and your very hard-core determination. You can do this!! You are a very strong person, I can sense that from your posts.
I had a bit of an eating disorder myself at 18ish, but it was all b/c of the emet. I KNEW I was too thin, ect. Your stomach has shrunk and your body is not used to food. BRAT sounds good, and that is something to work on. Baby steps.
I can understand wanting to be sick when you have that pain. It does make you feel better, even though it sounds weird to us emets.
BIG HUGS! I hope that you can stay strong, and continue with your strength. You will have ups and downs, but with support you will get through this.We are all here foryou!!
All the best, and you are in my thoughts.
Crystal
That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger!