I was going to post in the 'Share your experiences" thread, but I this is my first post and I'd just like to say a few things to everyone on board.
First off I am 19 and have had this condition for years. I went through a very bad stage many years ago were all I would eat for dinner was a bowl of cereal (more on that later).
I now have the condition (somewhat) under control, but I still go off the rails now and again. I am fairly anal about checking the dates on food and always do these 'controlled burps' where I subtly let all the air out (jeez, I sound so stupid).
When I saw a therapist many years ago they told me then that this was usually a girl related condition, which just made me feel more alone, but it's good to see I am not the only person.
This all stemmed from when I use to go on holiday with my parent's.
It got to the the point where it felt like every time I went I was sick. I once got some food poisening off some meatballs and was ill for most of the holiday, I remember being confused whenill, but back then it did not feel like the end of the world.
One time I woke up feeling ill, and I told my mum, she was annoyed at something at the time and just told me to stick my fingers down my throat. Awful memory.
The next few years I caught a few tummy bugs, from the pool/food and I became more n' more wary of what I ate and developed a genuine fear of V* to the point I could become overwhelmed with a feeling of inpending doom, that V* was worse than death itself.
After one of the holidays (around 1997) I only ate a bowl of Wheetos for my dinner because I thought there was no way I could get ill off ofsomething so simple. Eventually I was taken to the docter, given a blood testand they confirmed I was lackiing in Iron. I went to a psychiatrist who was asking me all kinds of questions that made me feel no better -- bottom line, I have these demons that I have to overcome myself.
I do not drink, which is probably partly due to my fear of V*, but I don't mind travling and eat fine now.
It's bizarrebecause I have feared to even type my problem into the internet. For years I have had it under control and then sometimes in bed I may be a little bloated and then it's a downward spiral of being anxious. After thinking I was rid of it once I said to myself in bed "it's still in me".
Most recently, a few months agoI was so scared thinking I was going to be ill (have a history of being ill at night time) I was hovering near the phone and a split second away from phoning the ambulance because I just wanted to die. I woke up in the living room the next morning, exshausted, and my Mum still has no idea what I go through everyday. She thinks I no longer have the problem.
Two days agoin college a friend of mine said he felt ill and made his way to the toilet, straight away my heart started pounding and I wanted to know the reason WHY he felt ill. I was begging he did not throw up in the classroom, luckily he did not.
I go through mentals battle everyday, it sucks.
I have read allot and thank you all for reading my tale. There is so much more to say, which I will in the future.
I have not been ill since 2001, I believe when I tooka swig of wine after eating a curry/Tuna creation. I never want to be ill again and watch everything I eat.
I don't believe I will ever be rid of the condition I just have to deal with it as best as I can from day to day.
Respect to everyone for sharing their experiences with this terrible phobia.
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Originally Posted by Carolee
