Hi there,
I just joined the site today..its crazy to think that so many people have this phobia..I personally know 2 people that have it. I read through most of the posts extensively..and just reading it made me feel very anxious and jumpy.
I can't remember when my phobia first started.What I do remember, is that throughout primary school-people were ALWAYS V*, and it happened mostly in encolsed areas, where I could not escape. Only the past year or so, have I figured out that I am ok with people V* if I can escape it..ie: I'm in an open space, and can walk (most probably run!!) away from it.
Most of the time I am ok- I freak out when I get headaches and feel nauseous..Pepto Bismol and anti nausea medicines have become my best friends- they work really well.I think also because I talk myself into not feeling/being sick and convince myself that the medicine will prevent that and work miracles.
I feel as if things get really bad, when someone does V*- and I am there. I used to feel extremely anxious and have panic attacks- even when I heard through the grapevine that someone V*..Now, that has become better- although, when I hear that someone has a bug, I do freak out- I start thinking that everyone, as well as myself will catch it- and everyone will be V* everywhere.I know this is irrational..highly irrational- but that's what our fear is based upon.
A few months ago, someone V* at work- I didn't hear or see it..because I wasn't there the day it happened (THANK G-D!!), but the next day I came into work and immediately smelled it. I had a panic attack, and couldnt function properly. It made me very very angry- why can't a grown up/young adult control themselves properly..especially seeing as though they V* a few centimetres from the bathroom!!! Another recent experience was on a flight,a little kid V*, and someone V* from smelling it. I was a few rows behind..and ever since I get extremely anxious before flying..that someone will V* near me..or next to me, and I won't be able to escape- I guess thats what freaks me out the most..aswell as the whole 'domino' effect..you know, people V* from seeing other people V* and then more people V*
I do feel like it limits me in a lot of ways..I get a little bit anxious when going to clubs, I get very anxious before flying, and the thought of spending time with people I don';t know very well..and getting drunk together scares me..because I don't know if they can handle their alcohol..whereas I know the limits of the people close to me..ie;family and friends, if that makes sense. I often dream about other people V* and the next day..I do feel very unsettled, but it soon passes.
I am naturally a very very anxious person.I have been anxioussince a little kid, but in the past year- I really think that my anxiety has increased drastically. I have seen a few psychologists in my lifetime and they all attributed my fear to "fearing a loss of control"..I think that's quite accurate, because I do feel very anxious when I don't have control over things- although I'm far from being a control-freak..I just like to know where I am going, and what I am doing..although sometimes, I can be spontaneous, most of the time..I like things to be planned.
I don't know if there is a cure out there- and if there is, id be interested to know how others recovered..maybe its a matter mind control, and taming your mind- but that is very difficult and challenging. I think to some extent, I have become a lot better at dealing with my phobia..but I would still like to be completely free of it, as I do find it somewhat debilitating.
To all of you out there..I hope you soon find peace with yourselves, and no longer struggle with these tormenting experiences,thoughts and feelings.
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