severe emet..

[laurend]

Sorry this is so long but its important to me.. please read


Ok well to start off I would just like to say that I've been an emet for my whole life, or at least back until i can remember. I went through elementary school eating lunch in a room by myself and skipping recess to help teachers grade papers so that i could avoid as many germs as possible. I went through high school with a little more ease but i still took precautions to try to avoid getting sick.


I gave birth to a gorgeous little girl a little over a year after i graduated. My emet seemed somewhat under control until she got a stomach virus last january of 05. she v* every 5 minutes for almost 5 hours until we finally took her to the hospital and then it started to taper off a little. her sv lasted for a little less than 24 hours but ever since then my emet has kicked into high gear.


I can not even go on living a normal everyday life because i'm afraid of everything. My daughter is being held back from so many different things because i'm afraidof her being exposed to a virus. I don't have a job because i'm afraid to send her to daycare, i don't take her to play with other kids because i'm afraid they're all contaminated with some type of illness. I wash her hands after every little thing she touches andif i have to take her to the doctors she gets a fullscrub-downafterwards.


Everyday I wake up in fear that i am going to have some type of sv. I rarely eat anything besides bread and crackers because i try to keep my stomach as acid free as possible. I only drinkwater or ginger ale because i'm afraid anything else will upset me. I constantly havesome type of stomach problem such a n*, d*, cramps, acid reflux, or gas. I never feel normal.


It's becoming such a serious problem because it's even affecting myrelationship with my fiance. I'm literally afraid to kiss him because he doesn't care about getting sick and isn't careful when it comes to germs. I won'teven share food with my daughter in case sheis carrying some type of virus. I really want to be able to live a normal (or at least somewhat normal) life, but this emet is taking over me.


I've been visiting with a therapist for a little over a month now and it doesn't seem to be helping out too much yet. I was just curious if there wasanyone else who has emet this severely?! I literally think its making me anorexic because of myfear to eat. I'm 5'4 and weigh 102. Anyone else like this? Please tell me...

[Carolee]

Hello I too have severe emet...it has destroyed my life...I don't leave the house...I went to the doctors yesterday and it was the ifrst time I left the house in 2 months, because I am terrified to pick something up, or to b esick outside of th ehouse. I waited in th ecar instead of the waiting room until they came out to tell me th edoctor was ready to see me...my sister had to take me so I wasn't alone at any time...Now I am counting down the time hoping I don't get sick because I was out of the house...I am in fear all the time...when I eat i only eat steamed vegetables and potatoes, anything else I have someone else test it for me and wait 12-24 hours to eat it...My emet has taken over my life...I am sorry you are going through a hard time as well

[laurend]

wow that is terrible, i'm so sorry. i really wish there was something more they could do for us emet's. i never knew such a thing could really conquer someone's life? i mean i should appreciate the fact that i am alive and don't have any fatal diseases but it almost makes it hard to appreciate anything when i'm afraid to live? I just don't understand what to do sometimes. I would honestly rather die than to get a sv, and i mean that with all my heart. It's really scary how much a phobia takes away from you. i so badly want to get over this but it seems the harder i try, the worse it gets. i mean, my whole life i've had this fear and there were times when i was ok with it, but all it takes is one bad experience and it puts me over the edge. these past 14 months have been the worst i think. i'm just hoping that somehow, somewhere, there is something that can help us overcome this. it seems as though your emet has turned into agoraphobia as well. this is slowly happening to me also. i'm just worried for my daughter's sake because i never want her to have to go through this but i know if she see's how upset it makes me, it will definitely have some type of effect on her. i dont know what to do but talking to someone that knows what it's like makes things easier. thank you for taking the time to read my post. i really hope you get better, never give up faith.

[kristi425]

I'm so sorry that both of you (and anyone else too) is struggling so much.


To a lesser extent, I feel like my emet is taking over my life. I can't go to parties I want to go to. If I go to a movie, I have to get there early to make sure I can get a seat in the back row...otherwise I am known to leave a movie. In resteraunts, I have been known to have small panic attacks when children are near me who I don't know. I have friends who I have either seen v- or heard v- (as I live in a dorm and am quite close living quarters with others). I won't let people walk behind me at all. If I'm walking down the hallway and there's nobody else from my hall in there, I will walk with my back facing the wall so nobody can get behind me and v- on me. I can't ride in the front seat of the car for any reason. I absolutely hate driving. My boyfriend likes to go to parties and used to be in a frat. We would go to the frat parties and I would seriously not let anyone else within three feet of me, in fear they would v- on me. And god help us if I had to use the restroom. We'd have to LEAVE the party and walk all the way across campus (college hill where the frat is located is at least a mile and a half away from my dorm) so that I could pee. It totally ruined parties and having fun. Even in class, I am stuck in the back. My professors never recognize me because I always have to sit in the back just in case someone in the classroom should get sick. And...if there's a stain anywhere, I refuse to go in the room. Or in situations where I have to, I won't take off my shoes, go to extreme measures to walk around it, etc... even if I don't know what it's from. IT COULD BE WATER FOR ALL I KNOW!!!


I drive myself crazy even talking about it. My emet has completely changed my life from that of someone who doesn't have emet. I wouldn't say destroyed though. I try as hard as I can to look at the positives:


*I am much healthier and more sanitary than many and most of my friends


*At parties, I am able to limit myself so that I can feel a buz and have a good time but don't act like a drunken fool and ruin everyone's good time


*In so many ways it has brought me and my boyfriend closer since he's known. He appriceates my efforts to overcome as much as I can before we have out baby and he supports me a lot.


Hopefully you guys find peace and hope despite this horrible phobia. That's why we're all here together!

[laurend]

thank you for sharing your experience. this is such a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through but like i've said in the past, it makes it much easier to have people to talk to about it. hopefully one day will we all be cured from this wretched fear. my heart goes out to you and anyone else with this phobia. thank you for your support and the best of luck to all of you.

[kate1966]

Laurend...your story breaks my heart...i have had emet since i was in like 2nd grade myself....and i will soon be 40...so i share in yourfears....all though mine has gotten less severe over time....the young years of my kids life were the hardest for me. They are now almost 16 and 12...so things have setteled down some. But, for you and carolee...wow...you 2 really have it bad. It has to be overwhelming for you both. I can't tell you what has changed for me....i still get nervous, and i still am scared alot, of my kids and myself getting sick...but it's just alittle diff. now for some reason. I hope that you and carolee both can find the strenght within to try to get through these hard times right now. It's crippling fear and it's something that we have no control over unfortunately. I think you need to find another therapist for one thing. Sounds like no progress is being made there. I wish you the best and i hope you can find some peace somehow soon.......best of luck to you.

[e-lizabeth]

there IS help available for emetophobia. please please go to the treatments thread and read up on it.


I had very severe emet that caused me to quit jobs, drop out of graduate school, be virtually unable to leave the house. But through major counselling, years of therapy and medication, I'm so much better that it's like I'm not even the same person.


Please don't give up. Your daughter needs you. And you need to be okay. For yourself as well as for her. How old is she?

[laurend]

Thank you, and i'm glad to hear that you've both made progress with this fear. My daughter is 2 1/2. She is the most precious, innocent thing in the world. She is such a sweetheart, really. Even when she's sick, if she happens to v*, thenafter she doesshe'll look at me with this reassuring face and say "i'm ok mommy." and it breaks my heart because even though she's ok, i'm not. I'm hoping that this will get better with time but so far it seems that time has made it worse. This is the 5th therapist I've seen about this and she is a little different then the rest of them. She works with something called EMDR and also another remedy using pressure points. I am giving this one a trybecause i've had no progress anywhere elseso i figured, hey, i have nothing to lose. Hopefully with a few more sessions with her we will start making some progress in the right direction. Thanks again for your support.

[e-lizabeth]

You're welcome. But you have to be really really careful with your kid. My daughter, who's almost 7, is showing signs of emet, and trust me, it's way way worse to watch your kid go through it than it is to go through it yourself. Good luck with the therapy.