I have been more anxious and depressed lately than usual. Ever since I've been on Lexapro (since last September) my anxiety and emet has been 100% better, but I still get anxiety every once in a while if I am stressed out.
Lately it seems to be more of a constant than a come and go type anxiety. I am feeling nervous/sick at least once a day and am having to take Xanax almost every day again, I don't have much of an appetite, am getting headaches, fatigue, and no motivation to get off the couch or do anything at work. This is how I was BL (before Lexapro). I'm getting really nervous that I am slipping, but I am going through a pretty stressful period right now that is probably the reason.
My hubby and I are buying a new house and our mortgage payment will basically double. I am really worried about being able to pay it, but he promised me he was going to get a better job or get a second job. well, he is not really someone you would describe as having a lot of "stick-to-it-iveness," so needless to say he has neither found a new job or gotten a second one, and our closing date is in two weeks. On top of that, he insisted that instead of selling our house we should rent it out for a year, so we have the added stress of trying to find a renter and we are having a hard time doing that. I am REALLY worried about having two mortgage payments. We simply could not do that.
Finally, I hate my job. Some of you probably saw my post last week about my quarter life crisis. I am so ready to move on but I don't know what to do. All I know is my job is making me lose some serious self-esteem day by day. I am totally losing confidence in myself and my intelligence.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to vent. What do you think I should do about my husband? He was the one who wanted to do all this. I didn't want to move or rent our house. I told him we could do it as long as he figured out the money and dealt with all of it. Well so far as predicted, I have been having the bulk of the responsibility and the worry. Should I just let go and let him deal with it? He knows I am stressed but he doesn't seem to be doing anythng about it. Maybe I just need to relinquish control and let him deal with everything. It will be hard for me because I am a control freak, but honestly the worry needs to be placed on his shoulders or he isn't going to figure it out. I am sick of always being the one keeping us afloat. Marriage is hard because the choices he make affects me too! That's why it's so hard for me to just say fine, you deal with it!
\"Napoleon, you\'re just jealous because I\'ve been talking to babes online all day.\" ~ Kip