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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    United States
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    658

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    I have been more anxious and depressed lately than usual. Ever since I've been on Lexapro (since last September) my anxiety and emet has been 100% better, but I still get anxiety every once in a while if I am stressed out.


    Lately it seems to be more of a constant than a come and go type anxiety. I am feeling nervous/sick at least once a day and am having to take Xanax almost every day again, I don't have much of an appetite, am getting headaches, fatigue, and no motivation to get off the couch or do anything at work. This is how I was BL (before Lexapro). I'm getting really nervous that I am slipping, but I am going through a pretty stressful period right now that is probably the reason.


    My hubby and I are buying a new house and our mortgage payment will basically double. I am really worried about being able to pay it, but he promised me he was going to get a better job or get a second job. well, he is not really someone you would describe as having a lot of "stick-to-it-iveness," so needless to say he has neither found a new job or gotten a second one, and our closing date is in two weeks. On top of that, he insisted that instead of selling our house we should rent it out for a year, so we have the added stress of trying to find a renter and we are having a hard time doing that. I am REALLY worried about having two mortgage payments. We simply could not do that.


    Finally, I hate my job. Some of you probably saw my post last week about my quarter life crisis. I am so ready to move on but I don't know what to do. All I know is my job is making me lose some serious self-esteem day by day. I am totally losing confidence in myself and my intelligence.


    Anyway, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to vent. What do you think I should do about my husband? He was the one who wanted to do all this. I didn't want to move or rent our house. I told him we could do it as long as he figured out the money and dealt with all of it. Well so far as predicted, I have been having the bulk of the responsibility and the worry. Should I just let go and let him deal with it? He knows I am stressed but he doesn't seem to be doing anythng about it. Maybe I just need to relinquish control and let him deal with everything. It will be hard for me because I am a control freak, but honestly the worry needs to be placed on his shoulders or he isn't going to figure it out. I am sick of always being the one keeping us afloat. Marriage is hard because the choices he make affects me too! That's why it's so hard for me to just say fine, you deal with it!
    \"Napoleon, you\'re just jealous because I\'ve been talking to babes online all day.\" ~ Kip

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,141

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    If you don't me asking: When you sell your house, will you have enough equity $$ to help you out for a while until hubby finds a better work situation?
    ~*~Charlene~*~

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    658

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    Well, we aren't planning on selling our house for a year, he wants to rent it out for a year so that when we do sell, we can just take all the profit and do whatever we want with it. we should make about $70-$80k, so that will be nice.


    I guess my issue is that he just doesn't try very hard, and I feel like all the burden is on me a lot (I'm sure you can relate). I love him to bits and pieces, but I don't want to always be the one responsible for everyhting. Marriage is a partnership, you know?


    Thanks for responding BTW. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
    \"Napoleon, you\'re just jealous because I\'ve been talking to babes online all day.\" ~ Kip

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,866

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    Hmmm.....


    I can see your husband's point about renting- when my parents built their new home, they decided to rent out the old one. The money they get for renting it is more than enough to pay for that mortgage payment, and bring in some extra cash. BUT, in order for that to happen, you actually need to find a tenant! What has he done to advertise? Have you tried newspapers, real estate listings (they usually have a section for rentals), sign on the property, advertising at local colleges/universities?


    I say definitely talk with your husband if you are uncomfortable with renting or even moving- but be careful, because you also have to see it from his position. Imagine that he said that he was alright with something- and then at the last minute decided that he wasn't. Would that not be frustrating to you?


    Is it really just the house situation, or are there other issues (like the job thing) that are making you stressed out in general, and this is just adding to it? I know it may be hard to say "you deal with it", but I think that it comes a time where that may just have to happen- for the sake of your sanity. You never know, he may end up surprising you.


    Perhaps it would be more prudent to tell your husband that you would be more comfortable buying a new home if you had the financial situation already settled- that is if he got a new job or a second job and worked for at least 3 months (just in case) then you wouldn't worry so much. That way you are putting the ball in his court, as the owness is on him to get himself this job and prove that financially you will be okay.


    *amber*

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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    883

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    mjewell - Well, you know, from what you have written here, this doesn't sound much related to emetophobia at all. It just sounds like you have a lot of legitimate life stress, and when people have that, even if they are non-anxious types, they will feel out of sorts and lethargic. This sounds situational based upon what's going on with you right now, rather than just a generalized anxiety, so at least you know the causes, and you know that it will pass when things calm down in your life and when you get your job worked out.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    658

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    hi guys, thanks for writing.


    Japa, you are right, I am sure my recent anxiety is stress related and I know it will pass, it is just frustrating because when I get stressed out it manifests itself in emet form, you know? Like I start feeling nauseous all the time, worry about going out for social events, etc. Sucks.


    Crim, I am not considering going back on any of our plans, I LOVE our new house and am very excited for the move up.I am just really worried that it won't work out. We will definitely make a little money on our rental which will be nice. I guess what I am angry about is that I told him if you really want to do all this I am all for it as long as you understand this is your project and I need you to be responsible the work it takes, including bringing in some more income somehow, handling all the advertising, paperwork, etc. and I already feel like that is not the case. We have signs up in our yard and all over our area. We will probably put an ad in the real estate section of our paper next week, but it seems like we are getting quite a few calls just from the signs. I should put up some flyers around my university though, since I'm here every day, might as well.


    Yes, my job is also playing a huge factor in my stress. I just detest my job, my career, everythting. I need to make a big change. And you are right...I totally need to just say YOU DEAL WITH IT. After all, he promised me he would. I need to just have some faith in him that he can handle it.
    \"Napoleon, you\'re just jealous because I\'ve been talking to babes online all day.\" ~ Kip

 

 

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