I find at the moment im trying my hardest to get past this and having a hell of a time doing it really,as you know well most of you that my mother is away so it is forcing me to do things that I wouldnt normally due to this fear.

I dont make plans with having emet either, because I usually end up feeling like well ive made them now and ive jumped the gun what happins because I though I could I get ill, this is all part of how irational my fear is I dont know about anyone else's.

Do you feel as if you are double bluffing this emet when doing things like this or talking about it like you want it gone or finger crossing things?

I personally feel like I end up freaking out and it makes things worse.

xVx