MOST OF FAMILY V*ING - HELP

[pookey30]

HELP.....


I have had to phone a crisis line as I cant cope and want to go.


My sister in laws kids have been v*ing and even their step grandad who has been round there has v* too.


My other half got up this afternoon (he worked nights last night.) He said he felt dodgy. Anyway, I was ironing in the hall way at the bottom of the stairs and he sat on the stairs. I knew why. I kept telling him to go and sit upstairs. Anyway, he went into the kitchen and downed his coffee then calmly went upstairs and shut the bathroom door. I could hear him doing "IT". He has gone out now and taken my 3 year old son with him. I asked him not too as I didnt want him in a closed car with him after he has v*. They are coming back soon as he has just phoned and told me he is on his way. I am really dreading him coming back in. I dont like being in the house with anyone who feels s*. What if my son starts to v* too??????


I just want to be on my own. I felt s* last night and too an anti emetic and sat up most of the night on the computer and reading. If I lived on my own free of children or anyone else I wouldnt come across this as much. I really would prefer to be on my own. I dont know how my other half would work and look after 2 children. My only concern at the moment is going.


I am having therapy but it is useless. I know running isnt the answer but I cant stay here and wait for everyone to v*. It's just too much to take.


If I can make it through the night here I will have to phone someone else to get a different therapist sorted. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight as I cant share a bed with my other half after he has v*. The problem I have is that our 3 year old son comes into our bed EVERY night. I dont want him in bed with him either as he will catch it.


I will let you know how I get on.


Going now as I really can't carry on talking about this. It's too much.


Karen x

[Babydoll]

Im sorry to hear your family is all ill, you must be really anxious right now. Sometimes if you can get away from the situation for awhile and then come back you may feel better. Why dont you go for a walk, or go out to coffee with a friend, just geta way from the house for a bit.


it sounds kind of strange that your hubby is able to go out with your son after he just got sick.. That probably means he's not that sick to begin with.


remember, most non emets dont really care if they vomit, your hubby sounds like he induced it himself by drinking the coffee on an already uneasy stomach.


I don't think sharing a bed will be a problem with him if he doesn't vomit again. Looking for a therapist sounds like a good idea.. I hope you feel better!

[fifi]

Calm down and relax. I no its easier said than done. I know that feeling of wanting to run away and get away from it all. Think logically, if you can. You have children and responsablities. I know it is very hard. I am the same. Please, just think it may not even happen. If your hubby was that ill he could not have taken your son out. Just stay calm and let us know how you all are.


PM me if you want to.


Love and hugs


Fifi


xxxxx[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[kutekim1217]

Ho Pookey sorry to hear about whats happening with you. I dont understand why your husband who down a coffee if he didnt feel well and then got sick, then he goes out? He can't be feeling too bad if he went out, right? Try and calm down, it doesnt sound too bad. Kim

[curly wurly]

I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. It is very scary when everyone around you seems to be ill. I agree witheveryone elsethat your husband cannot feel too bad if he went out after v*ing. I know how you feel about wanting to run and hide from everything, but your children need you. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I hope your family are feeling better soon and that you are o.k.

[suze]

Hope you're OK Pookey. Again, just to reiterate what the others have been saying. If your husband had a sv, then there is no way he would be out and about afterwards. Try and relax, there's no reason why your son will get ill.


I know how it feels to want to run away, but see if you can push yourself to stay put. It's hard but the way we can start to make this fear less controlling is to take very tiny steps and do something that we wouldn't normally do, or something we don't want to do. I know this works, before I split from my husband I never dealt with my kids' v*. Now I'm alone, I have to, and you know what, I can do it. It scares the s**t about of me, but ICAN do it. Try Pookey, and you'll suprise yourself.


Keep us informed as to how things are. Thinking of you.

[madisonsmom]

Big hugs to you!


Let us know how you are doing!

[japa]

Leaving your husband and children won't stop your anxiety. You'll still have your phobia and will find a way to fear vomit. You'll just be lonely without your loved ones.

[shiva]

Pookey,
I just want to remind you that you have been through this before and you have survived. Don't kid yourself for a second in thinking that it's worth it to leave. You know that you can do this. Don't let this stupid phobia beat you. This will pass in just a few days, you can handle anything for a few days.

[ontariogirl]

Karen I agree with shiva and japa. You have been through this before. Leaving is not the answer. Call and find another therapist, phone your doctor keep pressuring whom ever to get the help you need. Leaving your kids would be the worst thing you could ever do, we talked about that. Like shiva stated, this will pass.
Let us know how you are.

[aguerra29]

Pookey,

You definitely need to find a therapist that helps you. They are out there, I promise! Also, are you on any anti-anxiety meds? When I was at my worst, I got on meds and I felt so much better. I was still an emet, but it didn't consume my every thought. It will help you "take the edge off" the panic and anxiety. If you are on meds, talk to your doctor about upping the dose or changing.

Leaving will not solve anything. It may make you feel better for today - while everyone is sick - but it does nothing for you in the long run. You cannot avoid this!

[Babydoll]

I hope you all understand I'm not telling her toescape the situation - what I was doing was saying that getting out for a bit, to calm down, get your mind of the situation at hand, can do wonders for anxiety when its spinning out of control.


even a walk for a few minutes, for some fresh air, can help get thoughts sorted out when you are too panicked in a situation to be able to think rationally.


coming BACK to the situation is the key,once anxiety levels are managable(sp?) butnot escaping it in the end.Edited by: Babydoll

[aguerra29]

Of course babydoll. I wa responding to Pookey's statement of how much easier it would be if she didn't have the kids and family. getting out and getting fresh air always helps.

[moonshadow]

Hi Karen, how are you?


Please tell us what is happening in your therapy sessions. It doesn't seem to be helping so I wonder what they are trying to do?


I'm thinking you should maybe be on anti-depressant meds? They are supposed to help a lot with anxiety. Forgive me for sticking my nose in but you need and deserve help and you don't seem to be getting the support you need!


Please take care and remember this will all be over in a day or so or even a few hours. Hugs xxx

[pookey30]

Hello everyone and thanks for all your words of support.


I had to take my son swimming today and I did reply before I went but when I tried to post the reply it came up with "Cannot find server." The kids are now in bed so I can reply now.


Well,I phoned my other half while he was out and he said he felt really s* again. I had a beef stew cooking in the slow cooker so I put it into pots and cleaned it all away. I opened all the windows and sprayed air freshener round as I wanted to get rid of the smell. It's not a nice smell when you have been v* and feel so s*.


I was so worried about catching it that I didnt eat anything or even drink water after he got up and told me he felt s* andafter he v*. Idrankyesterday morning and then didnt drink until this morning. I know that isnt good and it will do me more harm not to drink but I honestlyget that worriedthat I cant even swallow water.


About a year and a half ago my son was ill for about 5 days. Temperature and stuff but he wasnt s* at all. Well, I was that worried that he would v* thatI COULDNT eat at all and lost 8lbs in those 5 days.


This morning. My other half woke up feeling absolutely fine but I have spent all day 'assessing' the kids.


This morning I have joined the national phobic society as someone else on this site told me that you can get hypnotherapy at a reduced cost.


I'm not on meds. I was taking anti depressents but when I went back for another prescription of them they took me off them. I think I need to talk to my therapist about going back on them.


Talking of my therapist. I havehad 15 sessions and they will only give me 20. She loses her temper with me whenI dont say what she wants me to say. She wants me tosay that I can stay around when someone is s* but I cant say that becauseat the moment I cant. Whatis the use of lying and her thinking that the therapyis working when it isnt. She eventold me to askmyother half to make himself sick so I could 'expose' myself to'IT' !!! She also told me to ask my familyto record themselves doing itwhen they nextdo! Like who has a tape recorder standingby and would think about recordingit when they feel so ill and are v*. She is just unreal.


I am still thinking that my kids would be better off without me. If my son wanted comforting because he felt s* I couldnt even be in the same room let alone comfort him. What is that going to do to him mentally? I dont want to screw my kids up. Also it wont be long before my 8 month old daughter will be s* properly and it would break my heart to let her suffer too. I am obsessed by this phobia. Thoughts of it come into my mind all the time. I can't get rid of it.


Well, I think I have typed enough to make you all bored. I just wish I could meet some of you as you all seem so nice and we all have so much in common.


Just wanted to say thanks to you all.


Speak soon and hope you are all staying safe


Love Karen xxx

[curly wurly]

It's good to hear from you, I was wondering how things were going for you. I am glad your husband is feeling better today. I hope the rest of you stay well. Your children would definately not be better off without you. They need their mummy even if you can not be in the same room when they v*. You may surprise yourself when it actually happens though.I really feel for you as I know how hard it is always worrying if our children are going to be ill. I hope you start to feel better soon and your family stays well.

[kutekim1217]

I can't eat either when someone I was around has an sv. I starve for at least 2 to 3 days. I eat or drink nothing so I know exactly how you feel. Kim

[lgood22573]

I think you should find another therapist. That just sounds crazy to me
and not very professional. Maybe you do need to get back on the meds if
you think that will help. Do you know why they took you off?

[kristi425]

I know it's really scary when others around you are s- and v-. No fun at all, I can't even imagine what I will do to cope when my child is s- and v-.


Just try to keep a level head and do your best to stick it out. Everyone will get better in a couple days...this too shall pass and then look at it positively- people probably won't be sick again for a while.


I know it's hard and scary to eat when those around you are v-, but just try to be healthy. A virus will infect you no matter if you eat or not. In fact, if you don't eat, the body will concentrate on trying to preserve calories and you might end up making yourself s-. Just try to relax, drink lots of water and try to eat something. Don't exchange bodily fluids with your husband (ok, that sounded gross, but not in a nasty way) and try not to let him breathe on you. take some vitimin c to boost your immune system now, and maybe make your kid take some too so they are lass likely to get s-.


You'll be okay!!! You can do it!!!

[jodi054]

the nationl phobics society are really good ..... i've filled all my forms out and should see someone within 2 weeks so we'll see how it goes ..... it is hard having kids .. i know what im like when my 2 are ill but you can and will get through it !! be positive [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[marieb73]

I hope everyting is better today. I am really sorry for what you are going through.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

Your therapist sounds like the worst possible person to be a therapist! How cruel to suggest the things she suggested or get angry with you. 15 sessions is really not that much time at all. I think she might be one of those who does not believe this phobia is "real".

I hope you find a new therapist soon. Keep us updated.

[ontariogirl]

karen I am emailing you through msn please read it

[ontariogirl]

Karen
I am very worried about you. I want you to think of every thing that you have accomplished with this phobia, I don’t think you have to think hard because you know that you have done some. Seriously think back and you will see. It feels easier just to run away that your kids would be better off but they won’t! I was 19 when I gave birth to my first son; this phobia was still at its peak. When he first became sick believe me I wanted to bolt! To run away and never come back. I knew that would be the biggest loss I would ever make. Your son has been sick before and you made it through. Your husband is sick and its freaking you out. You have to remember that the stomach virus isn’t going to hit your place everyday. My thinking patterns were the same as yours, it is scary and you feel beaten down. It has taken me many years to come to grips with this phobia and I have no idea how, but it is a take one day at a time effort. When I feel sick or if my son comes to me and says his stomach doesn’t feel good I do become anxious.I have learned not to freak out about my son until his head is in the toilet. Before, I would be going in his room every 5 minutes asking how do you feel now? I would be pacing and pacing in fear that he will be sick.

I am so head strong right now that I won’t put up with any attitudes from a shrink, so we go to the next one. It is hard I know but you really need to find someone to get this phobia dealt with.
You are the one with the problem not the therapist so if you are rubbed the wrong way like I was years ago say goodbye and find another one.
I have faith you in Karen, I really do and I wish you lived around here because I would be at your door to help you and find the help you need and deserve.
Edited by: ontariogirl

[ontariogirl]

How are you doing now Karen?

[pookey30]

Rhonda,


I have sent you a message on msn.


Karen xxx

[japa]

Yes, Karen, ontariogirl is a good one to listen to.


And it's so true. Your therapist sounds awful. There are good ones out there. Somtimes you just have to weed through the bad. I know that's hard when you are feeling so desperate, but finding a professional that can help is the key.

[ontariogirl]

Thanks japa. I become so angry when I hear about these therapists. Reminds me of the dick that I talked to on the phone years ago. He made me feel so stupid and so low with in myself. I got off the phone and balled.
I dont want this to happen to anyone. Unfortunately there are idiots out there who shouldn't be in this field.