OT: Sort of...maybe...

[samara's on tv]

Okay I was just thinking about this (I know this is my second new topic in a day but I would REALLY like to know what you guys have to say) I was wondering were any of you teased in school?


Growing up I was teased A LOT. Not so much until about 4th grade, that's when the teasing got really bad. When I was in kindergarten I loved rats, yes rats, I thought they were cute and furry and I just loved them. Well in 5th grade some one (A girl who used to be my friend) started calling me rat girl. Okay not so bad right? Wrong. It was annoying and humiliating. Then someone decided to CARVE a picture of me looking like a rat into one of the bathroom stalls at school. It took them two or three months to paint over it.


In 7th grade I was transferred to a private school. I was a sci-fi freak in 7th and 8th grade. And yes I was made fun of because of that. I only had 3 friends. Then I had a friend in 7th grade who went to a different private school.I some how convinced her mother to have her transfer to MY school. I thought "Great I'll have a new friend!" Well guess what, she was accepted into the popular crowd and once again I was left out. One day I asked the leader of the group WHY I wasn't allowed in the popular group and so I was told that I wasn't "Pretty Enough"


The middle of 8th grade year I went back to public school (After being kicked out of the private school after some TERRIBLE crap happened to me) I wasstill a sci-Fi freak and I didn't reallyknow that many people. I had 2 friends who I would sit with every day at lunch but I didn't really see them outside of school. They were the only people who would actually talk to me during school. I remember once during 8th grade a popular boy putgum in my hair and started to tease me about it so I punched him.


Then in9th grade things were pretty crappy.I was a bit gothic, wore only black and I've always been pale so that didn't really help. There was a girl named Jessie who had hated me ever since first grade who totally spread every rumor that she could about me. I know it was her because when people would ask me rude questions or say something mean about me I would ask them where they heard it and they would always say Jessie.


So one day she was sitting in front of me talking S**T about me like I couldn't hear her and I got mad and pulled one of her pigtails back and punched her in the face. Now let me make thisclear, I'm NOT in ANY WAY A violent person, if you can get me to the point where I want to hit you then you MUST have done something wrong. Anyway they expelled me, they saidif Iappologized to her then they would let me back in but I freakin was NOT going to appologize to that girl.


Then the next year I was transferred to another private school. It was an alternative school for kids who didn't get along in regular highschools. (It was basically a place for the violent outcasts) and the first year there was TERRIBLE for me, I cried like every day and got beat up like every day.


This stoy has a happy ending though because the next year, up until I graduated I was popular. Very Popular. How that happened I'll probably never know.


Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to fill in you guys what it was like for me in school and I was wondering if anyone else got picked on when they were in school, or if they still ARE in school if they get picked on now.


~Monica

[x hannah x]

Monica that is the saddest story, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I had some pretty crap stuff happen to me at school too. It was fine when I was really tiny because how much are you even aware of at that age but when I was about 7 some kids started bullying me because I was the easiest target you could imagine. Tiny, glasses, all that fun stuff. It was all sorts, name calling, pushing, slapping, being locked in cupboards My parents didn't even know til I got pushed off a climbing frame and came home with a black eye.


I think thats actually how my emet got started, I would be anxious that I'd be beaten up or whatever and I'd transfer the anxiety to nausea andcall my mum from the officeevery day saying "Please pick me up, I'll die if I'm sick" It wasn't really what I was worried about but there was transference involved. It got worse when the office stopped letting me call and I was trapped there, thankfully after the climbing frame incidence in year 4 I got taken and put into a new school which I loved, however there were problems there when the kids caught on that I was scared of v*. They used to make noises etc and there was even one boy who could v* on cue. I spent many a break time crying in the toilets hiding from him.


My first secondary school wasn't great because yet again there were people who wanted to beat me up and I got moved out in year 8. It's ok now though because I've learned to stand up for myself now, I soon learned that I didn't have to take that crap from anyone and I have a really sweet group of friends. There was big drama with another group of friends when I first arrived (Which Jenneh and other early posters might remember) but thats all in the past.

[Babydoll]

I know how you feel... I don't even want to talk about my pre teen years at school - lets just say they were less than pleasent - I was a target for bullying because I'm petiete ( always the smallest girl in my class) and because I literally had no self esteem - bullies can smell that a mile away.


I really could never understand it, though. I was normal weight ( I could have even used a few pounds) averagely smart and yet this one girl ( who I realize now was just jealous, she was built like a boy, not a feminie bone in her body) made it her life's mission to make my life miserable. Thankfully, I grew up and realized I had alot going for me - while she's still acting like she's 13 and won't admit she ever made a mistake.


I think the way we all grow up most deffenitly(sp?) has an impact on our present state. If we grow up fearful ( of tourment, for example) we learn fast that this world can be a scarey place, and I think it stays with us, in one form or another, for the rest of our lives. I wouldn't say its the main cause of emet, but most deffinetly plays a big role

[samara's on tv]

Yes this world can be a scary place. I don't know if being picked on fueled my Emet but I'm sure it didn't help. I mean LOTS and LOTS of crappy things happened to me, some stuff I wouldn't want to tell you cause you guys would probably freak out! LoL...Highschool was actually the worst for me. I mean from 10th to 12th grade I was very popular but in the middle of those years something TERRIBLE happened to me and I'm still recovering from it. I feel better to know that I wasn't the only one bullied when I was little. Oh and by the way, I don't take crap from anyone anymore either...never again will I let people walk on me!


~Monica

[crimgoddess]

I was teased, but never bullied. If someone wanted to try that on me, I would have gladly asked them if they wanted to go outside and see who among us was the tougher one. Yep, not the most constructive way to end a dispute, but I found it more effective. I am definitely my father's daughter- none of this girl "I'll talk behind your back, turn others against you, and dedicate my life to making you miserable"- who honestly has time for that? If someone went that route I definitely put an end to it quick. Being larger than average definitely came in handy at times.


There has never been a point where I wasn't teased for something:


In grade 3 and 4 I started to have to wear a bra, which generally doesn't go unnoticed when the rest of the girls in your class are still wearing Rainbow Brite undershirts.


In grade 5 and 6 I got a major growth spurt (by the end of grade 6 I was the height I am now, almost 5'10), so definitely stood out, when apparently the name of the game was to blend in.


In grade 7 and 8 I started gaining weight, so that put another target on my back (sidebar- when I graduated highschool I was 180lbs....after my first year of university I was 210 lbs...now am down to 135- thank friggin' god).


I went to a uniform catholic highschool, so as a rebellion I decided to dress as different as possible. I also really got into punk music (as in from the 70s and 80's- not the junk that gets called 'punk' now), which definitely influenced my look (and still does now). I grew my hair long and dyed it black, was into weird eyemakeup (drawing vines around my eyes with eyeliner and using glitter to make flowers, etc.), wore chains and collars, fishnets, the whole deal. Got used to being called 'freak', being given dirty looks, talked about, etc. I figured screw them- I was getting good grades and was going to get a scholarship outta that place. That, and I hung around with the other 'freaks'- mostly the music and art bunch.So look, association,compounded with the weight and the fact that I was outspoken, basically put a giant target on my back.


I didn't have one of those moms who was like "oh my god, people are being mean to my baby, I'm going to go talk to the school"- she told me basically to suck it up, highschool doesn't mean a damned thing, and that in the end it will just make you a stronger person. And it completely did- where are those people that made fun of me when I was in highschool? Still in my hometown, dropped out or didn't go to university, either living at home or with one of their baby's daddies. Woohoo- sounds like a great time.


I think that to some extent people put TOO much of a focus on what happens in highschool- even now5 years out of highschool, I only talk on a regular basis to 3 people that I went to school with. All the issues back then that would really piss me off seem SO insignificant now, and definitely not worth my time or energy. So, if anyone here is currently in highschool and being teased- don't worry about it. Highschool is a vast wasteland of insecurity and infighting- but it doesn't last forever. Instead of spending your time worrying about it, or feeling down, channel that energy into getting good grades and working hard so you can make something of yourself in the real world. Because highschool is NOT what it's all about. Once you are in university or the workforce, no one really gives a damn whether you were miss popularity or that kid who ate lunch in the bathroom because they had no one to sit with.


*amber*Edited by: crimgoddess

[kristi425]

I'm so sorry to hear of everyone's negative experiences in school.


I used to get teased a lot in elementary school. My family all grows pretty quickly. I've been wearing the same size clothes pretty much since the 5th grade. So you can imagine how an elementary school girl who was 5'4" tall and 140lbs must have gotten teased.


Like crimgoddess, my mom didn't ever pull us out of school or talk to the principal about it. Mom told me to stand up for myself, I'm asuming she meant with words. But in the 8th grade, a kid at school called me fat or something (actually i think he technically called me a, "big girl"). I totally went rogue on him. I picked him up by his ear (he was kind of skinny and short) and carried him to the back area by the flagpole (there were never any teachers or administrators back there). The only person around was my best friend at the time. I ended up giving him a black eye and i was wearing boots that day. I didn't know it then but there's an actual bone in the penis that can BREAK when injured. I kicked him with the wrong part of my boot in that area and he ended up having to go to the hospital.


The principal never did anything about it and there was no proof I did anything, but it went around the school and nobody really ever made fun of me anymore after that, probably because they were fearing their lives. I'm sure people talked about me behind my back, but I don't care what people say unless I have to listen to it.


In high school, everyone else grew and finally surpassed me so I didn't seem so big anymore. Now most of my friends are actually way taller than me. I joined the drill team (spirit team) and color guard (spirit team) and was involved in a lot of clubs and asb and sports so high school went deciently for me. I probably was one of those making fun of others, which is aweful to say now. I feel bad.

[kellybean]

I definitly didn't have the best school years. I was never really teased or picked on, but I was left out of alot of things. Now I think I know why though. I'm not a very social person, and I know I didn't really try to be friends with alot of people in grade school or high school. I rememberone time in grade 9, I would always go out for lunch with these girls who were much more popular than me, and one of them didn't see meat first one day, and said "Oh my gawd, Kelly isn'there!!" She said it very sarcasticly, and then I realized that I wasn't wanted in their group.I was devestated, even though I knew I didn't fit in with them right from the beginning. After that, I just tried to fit in with whoever would accept me. I made some friends, but I was never part of a clique.


In grade 10, I made friends with a group of people from another school, but it wasn't the same because we didn't go to the same school. I am still friends with only 2 of those people today.


I've always been very shy, and very nervous around other people. I find it very intimidating to meet new people, and that is why I have a hard time making new friends. I guess it's just the kind of person I am. I have only a handful of friends, but I am very happy with that. I don't need alot of friends in my life, only true ones!

[confusedgirl]

I was probably teased the regular amount in elementary school... there were a couple "class bullies" who pretty much made fun of EVERYONE.. so it didn't really get to me, everyone was in the same situation. I was shy and independent in elementary school, I think my teachers thought I was bullied(or something)so they'd try to get me to hang out with people.. but that went over my head, I was just incredibly independent, if I wanted to join in with other people, I would have, but I didn't care too, I'd rather do my own thing. then, sometime around 5-6 gr. I made a pretty close group of friends... who I stayed with in the start of junior high... we made more friends in junior high and were like a clique there (not a mean clique, we didn't pick on people, but we just hung out all the time - I always had a group to meet up with before school, and eat lunch with and go to the mall with on weekends if I wanted to). in high school, we all went our seperate ways... I made friends with people in different groups... but in my high school, people don't really get picked on. I tried not to get on anyone's bad side, so things went fine socially. I'm a senior now, but I'm taking classes at a community college, and I haven't seen any mean teasing there. I HATED (and still do) school though... when I was younger it was just because I was SO bored there (and didn't get along with a lot of my teachers)... now though, with the more research I do into it, I realize compulsory schooling goes against a lot of my morals/beliefs... so I was pretty much miserable at school - my friends made it tolerable. I'm sorry that a lot of people here had such bad experiences in school or with teasing....

[mjewell]

My nickname in elementary school was "chubbo." I would definitely have to say that played a major role in my self esteem issues, and still does today. I am obsessed with how my body looks/ Never to the point of having an eating disorder or anything, but I hate myself when I gain weight.

[princessmel]

I was teased a little bit, but I think that everyone is teased to a certain degree when they are in school. It's bound to happen. Unfortunately, some are teased more than others.

[curly wurly]

I always got on fine at school. I was very shy, but always had a few close friends. Then I moved house when I was 12 and had to change schools. Thats when things changed and I started to get bullied. I was an easy target as I am slightly albino so have very white/blonde hair. I have to wear dark glasses outside even in winter so I suppose I did stand out a bit at my new school. My not so great eyesight made me a bit clumsy at times. The name calling was not too bad but did hurt. Then I had ink flicked in my hair several times. Everyone thought it was so funny. Then I was often chased in the playground with a group of children shouting,"lets catch the mole!" They would either kick me or on the worst occassions I was put in the dustbin. It was so humiliating. Fortunately my family moved again after a year and I never had to experience this kind of bullying again, but I can still remember how hard and lonely it was at the time.

[chicajojobe]

Teasing, bullying, overt sexual harassment. You name it, I went through it in the grades before high school.



However, I don't think it's related to my emet. It's given me some
self-esteem problems though that I'm slowly getting better with.

[purpleteacher]

I was always picked on growing up for EVERYTHING and I get picked on a lot as an adult. My last name sounds similar to the name of bad town near where I live, so kids call me by THAT instead of my real name when they get ticked at me. My last name just leaves room for tons of teasing to begin with...


You name it, I got teased about it! My hair, acne, clothes, my weight, because I didn't live with my parents, my lazy eye (that was a BIG deal to me!), freckles, I would sunburn in like 5 minutes of being out in the sun, I blush extremely easily, my middle name, my first name, and anything and everything else you could think of. I was the nerd who didn't make straight A's, but who everyone thought did!


The way I view teasing now that I'm teaching is simple: They only tease me because they like me. You don't waste time on people you don't like or don't care about, so if they are thinking of ways to make fun of me... then they are really just too afraid/ coolto admit that they admire/ look up/ or like me. I explain this to students and they usually become quiet --- it makes sense. Why waste time talking about someone you REALLY don't care about? It lacks logic.

[samara's on tv]

I like what Amber (Crimgoddess) had to say about highschool. I would like to make a point though...


I was popular from 10th grade to 12th...but like I said something TERRIBLE happened to me during that time. Luckily I was able to get through the horribly damaging situation relatively unscathed (Sp?) because I had so many friends. But I would like to say two things about popularity.


The first thing is, it changed me a GREAT deal. I mean I found myself becoming one of those mean kids that talk about other kids behind their backs. Like there was this girl in my class who was a total outsider, she always looked like she got dressed in the dark while her make-up attacked her. I befriended her cause people were treating her bad. About a year later she started to be a total bitch. So what did I do? Instead of confronting her on it I went to every person that she had talked about behind their back and told them what she had said. Within an hour NO ONE in school was talking to her. (And in a school with only 60 students word gets around fast)


The second thing I'd like to say is that every day I would come into school get greeted nicely, get hugs, laugh, get smiles everything. The real world is not ANYTHING like school. I almost wish that I WASN'T popular cause as soon as I got out into the real world I realized no one is going to greet you with a huge or an excited smile they are just going to pass by you. Highschool is NOT the real world! Everyone should keep that in mind.


~Monica

[liz28]

i got pickedon severely from 5th grade to 7th grade.
it was when i got tall super fast. i am 5'11 now.
i was also chubby in those years, so imagine being tall and chubby.
luckily im at 155 now, which is goodie. and they can all shove it.

i also have a dimple in my chin...
i can still remember people saying "why is your butthole in your chin? butthole chin!"...

kids are mean. Edited by: liz28

[spilled_milk]

I...i'm not sure. i wasn't picekd on persay, but i was the loser until about seventh grade, when i transferred into a new school. I actually was fine up until fourth grade, when I started to be weird. I went to aprivate school, where fourth fifth and sixth grades were combined, and so I wqas friends mostly with people one year younger than me. That just started it. My friend and I were both horse obsessed, so at recess I was a horse named Galy, and she was my trainer. I would run around being a horse, and she would shout commands at me. The gateway to teasing!! Needless to say I've gotten back at those people now, as I see them regularly at reunions.


Druing middle school I was a little bit of a loser, but not as bad as before. I think this was because I also had a good group of friends then...and it helped me get over self-esteem problems. I still have lowish self esteem, but i'm not so eager to please, which helps me to be my own person. Anyway, I got teased a little bit then because of my name. All four of them (yes, four) are somewhat kooky! I still get teased a little now, but i THINK that people have matured more in high school.


I guess to summarize that is, yes, i was teased, but the teasing has now decreased, plus i've developed a tougher skin. In some respects, i think it made me stronger.


<3 Anya--