this frustrates me

[punchbuggy]

Every now and again , whenI start thinking deeply about how ridiculious my phobia really is I get all worked up and just wish I could just v* already and see what the big deal is. Then I get upset because I dont have enouoh stregth to actually face my fear. I bet I am not the only one who feels this way and I have a lot of respect for those who have faced their fear. Another thing that got me was that one of my freinds told me she learned from her psyc class the only way people get over their fears is by facing them .... another slap in the face for me. I just find this sooo frustrating , this is a bodily function for goodness sake.


I know one day we will all recover from this stupid thing but sometimes I hate the idea of even trying to get over it seeing as how i have already learned to cope with it in my everyday life. Mind you that i am much better than i was in the past now.I just can not see myself ever finding enouph power to face this thing. I actually am not even sure as to what exactly I am scared about , the n*, the taste, the smell ...etc.


Well im going to put my trust in the Lord and ask him for his power to help me get through this. goodluck to everyone !

[kate1966]

I agree with you 100% on this....it's very frustrating indeed. I am tired of being scared...tired of wondering "when" it will happen, to me or anyone else...I can say that the older i get the better i get about obsessing about my kids anyway...i still think about myself alot. I am almost 40!!! But i remember when i was waaaaaaaaay worse than i am not about it....I pray alot about it too. I agree also to what you said you were scared of....I think for me it's the not knowing when it will end...like if it went on and on and on...that would be bad...but once or twice i think i could handle.....so it's just a big mystery.....best of luck to you though. I hope that one day we will all be free of our fears...just think...."No Emet" in heaven.....that's i have hope for[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[dranzersflame]

I would do almost anything to be rid of this phobia - except, v*.


A catch 22, eh?





The only good which I believe comes out of having this phobia is the appreciation we will have for everyday life after we overcome our fears (which we will!).





But there are many days when I cry and cry and cry, because I can't stand being like this. I once wrote a long email to my friend describing how I felt during one of those times... let's see if I can find it...
"Yeah, I’m sick of being this way. I didn’t ask to be this way. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to live my life in fear. I didn’t…I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to stay like this. I want to be able to eat whatever I want to, any time of the day. I want to be able to go on roller coasters like everyone else. I don’t want to have to methodically plan what I eat, when I eat, and have to breathe in certain rhythms, sniff and yawn and swallow in certain patterns, and I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want to leave the room when movies come on that involve vomiting. I don’t want to break down when I’m in cars or planes or on boats. I hate it…I HATE IT. GOD! I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS, I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS, I WANT IT TO END AND I WANT TO BE NORMAL AND IT IS JUST SO UNFAIR THAT I HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR EVERY DAY. I don’t want to avoid certain foods! I just want to be normal! Please…anything…anything, anything, ANYTHING but this, I swear, I don’t want this, I want to be able to go through one day…just one day without being so afraid. I’m crying now. I am so SICK OF IT ALL."

"I hate how my mom tells me that this fear is “nothing.” NOTHING!? NOTHING!??! GOD! THIS PHOBIA RUINS MY LIFE! I spend two hours after I eat, even if it’s a grape or a small candy, or a mint, TWO HOURS watching the clock, feeling that after two hours, I’m safe. I’m free until the next time that …food and drink…enters my system, and makes me so heavy and dirty and WRONG. I am so worried about making sure my body is in top condition, so I won't…GOD, I even hate the stupid word!

I WANT TO BE <st1:City><st1lace>NORMAL</st1lace></st1:City>!
IT WAS SO UNFAIR…
SO UNFAIR THAT I HAD TO BE LIKE THIS!
AND ITS MY FAULT, ITS ALL MY FAULT, I KNOW ITS MY FAULT.
I KNOW, I KNOW…I COULDN’T HANDLE IT.
I WAS WEAK. I ADMIT IT.

People ask if I TRIED to get over i

[crimgoddess]

There is actually a way of facing the fear, but not doing it so that it causes a lot of distress and panic. It's called exposure therapy- and it starts with things like cartoons and words.....and then can work it's way up to things such as being in the same room as someone who is sick or volunteering in an area where sickness is common (hospital, etc.). It is done so gradually that you only move on to the next step in your hierarchy once the previous step is no longer a source of anxiety. In the treatments section, there should be a sticky about it. It does not involve vomitting yourself- but by changing the way you think of vomit (cognitive-behavioural therapy- changing the thinking errors that make you fear it)and becoming more desensitized to it, it will make a huge difference without you having to be sick yourself.


Facing your fear doesn't necessarily have to mean jumping in all at once- if you go this route, you will probably do more harm than good. If done gradually and with support, it can make a big difference.


*amber*