For years now, I keep saying, "If I change this, or change that, I will get better." Well, nothing has ever worked so far. I've gone weeks at a time sticking to a healthy diet, not drinking any alcohol, cutting back on caffeine and cigarettes. I've tried reading the Bible every night, praying, and going to church. I've begged on my knees for God to get rid of this. But I've been stuck in the same rut for 4 years now.


Last night, I was talking to my husband about how I keep saying that I'll change, but end up right back to where I started. It's a never-ending battle. Even if I try to focus on just ONE thing, and not try to do it all, I still fail (i.e. my drinking.) He said, "Well, don't focus on the big stuff right now. Just try to take baby steps. Pick something about yourself you want to change, that's small and won't take too much work." He said that if I focus on the little things first, I will gain self confidence to tackle the bigger stuff. For not having a degree in psychology, my hubby's a pretty smart guy!


I'm going to make a heirarchy of things that I need to change in my life, so that my ultimate goal--getting rid of emet--will be accomplished. I'll start out small, then work my way up the scale, changing thought patterns and behaviors. I'm tired of living life this way. If I'm ever going to get better, I have to DO something about it. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]