It sounds like you might be ready to get some help for you phobia, especially if you are really worried about how much it is currently consuming your life. Since you are 17, is there any way you could ask your parents if you might be able to start counseling or possibly be placed on some medication to reduce your anxiety?
You really don't have to live like this because there are things you can do to make things better.
I\'m always a shade of purple...
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