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Thread: moms and dads?

  1. #1
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    Do any of your children show signs of emet? I am scared to death that I am turning Emma into one....She is 4!!! If I say the word V* she freaks out!! I asked her the other day if she would rather get a shot or v* and she said a shot....which she is petrified of b/c of her history. (cancer). Should I do anything?

  2. #2
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    Maybe it would help to talk to her about WHY we vomit, and how it's a good thing.


    For a kid, they may associate it with the "feeling" of being sick, unwell, etc- which is probably especially the case with someone who was as sick as your daughter. Itmust seem scary and unecessary to someone so young- if you were able to talk to her about how it's really a good thing, it may make it less scary for her. That, and talk to her about the mechanics of it- about how when we eat something we aren't supposed to, or are sick, our brains send a message to our stomach that makes us throw up to tell us something is wrong. We had this great exhibit at the science centre at my parent's hometown about why and how we vomit- too bad you didn't live closer!


    Definitely do something- you don't want it to progress to the point of her developping a full-blown fear!


    *amber*

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  3. #3
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    Amber...I must say you always have the best advice...thanks

  4. #4
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    No problem! Glad to be of some help....I just hope that, god forbid, when I have kids, someone would be able to give me objective advice when I start freaking out.


    Oh, and I will freak out A LOT, lol. And not necessarily about emet-related things- I tend to be a spaz in general, lol.


    *amber*

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  5. #5
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    I don't see signs of it in my 3 year old so far. She has only had two incidents of it. I am praying she does not develop this phobia, and I will do everything I can not to pass it on.

  6. #6
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    I would only talk to her about it if the subject comes up because she's sick. In fact, it seems odd to me that you would ask her a question like that about vomiting vs. a shot. What was the occasion for such a conversation? If I was her I might be wondering, "hey - why is she asking me that? Am I supposed to choose between these two things? Why?" I might also [if I was 4] think "hmmm...I'll answer 'a shot' cuz I know more about that...and the devil you know is better than the devil you don't." Who knows what she might be thinking at 4, actually.


    I guess the reason I ask iabout your motives is because I am assuming the answer - and sorry for me to presume that. But if the answer is because you're anxious, then indeed your anxiety may contribute to your child's anxiety. You can only "make" a child emetophobic if you yourself are anxious around them and in relation to them. If you're constantly asking them how they feel, etc....anxiously, then the child will definitely pick up on that and become anxious themselves - they get their view of the world and what is dangerous from their mothers. I know I sure did (anxious in general, cuz she was - not nec. about vomiting).


    My kids never got emet or any other anxiety disorder. I think that's because I was so totally invested in not making my problem their problem. I didn't always succeed. Sometimes daddy wasn't there, and they were sick and I freaked out beyond all belief. I'm sure it was traumatic for them. But if dad was around then I would just leave them to him and go to the basement, plug my ears and curl up in a ball for 24 hours. (It's totally f*d up, I know, but at least I was around them asking them questions all the time.)


    If your daughter asks you a question about vomiting, or is afraid, then I would suggest you act calm (even though you arent). If it's just a question, then really non-chalantly answer it like it's no big deal...even use some of the explanation that crimgoddess put in here. But if you're too intense about it, and all anxiously answering like you're really invested in her "getting it" and not being afraid, then she will be afraid simply because of how anxious you are when you're talking to her.


    The basic rule is: anxiety is contageous between mother and child. Logic and reason are meaningless if your words are masking anxiety. Try to stay cool, light, and sluff off most of the little childhood fears. They go away then, cuz the message the child gets is "oh...mommy's not anxious about this...it must be ok".


    Little people who have gone through trauma such as your child's (I can't imagine) need at the very least a really calm, stable family - as calm as absolutely possible. You can do it, I know...cuz it's obvious how much you love and care about her.


    Good luck!
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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  7. #7
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    Hi Reblynd, I try really hard not to let my two, ages 8 and 4, to be "influenced " by my phobia. I have explained my phobia to my oldest and why I have it (due to a bad experience at 10 years old). She seems to understand. I also reassure both that we will always take care of them when they are sick, and that they are o.k. My 4 year old had an sv pretty bad and I worried about him for a while, and he will still ask or comment about being sick. I just tell him we are all healthy and strong now, etc. Definitely watch your youngster and try to be calm about it. It is hard but I think if they are reassured, it goes a long way. Take care....</font>

 

 

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